Uptown World, Vol II: Letters
by Pinguin1993
Summary: "His skin has the color of really light café au lait. I can see his muscles ripple with each gracious step. The sun reflects on his silky blue hair..."  Leo's back. And he doesn't remember a thing. Where are his brothers? And who is Ue?
1. No Answer

_Well, I decided to start this one even tho school's still busy. So. I know that "What if" is still running, and apparently the more famous of my stories. But right now I'm in a total writer's block. I am sorry, but that's what it is. I need some easy-going writing to get that off. Which is why here is  
**The Uptown World Saga Vol. II: Letters **!  
I hope you enjoy._

_**Disclaimer: **I don't own turtles. If I did, they'd still be on air. You hear me, Nickelodeon?  
**Warning: **Contains fluff, a few human OCs, our world's Germany and a homosexual couple (not the turtles, tho). You should read Vol. I first. But whatever._

_I guess I'm a fool  
For thinking that you're thinking of me._

_

* * *

_**Prologue

* * *

**

4/22/2010

_Hey Leo. Don. Raph. Mikey._

_How's it going, guys? I hope you've had some fun recently. __Over here, ever since my "holidays" have ended, I didn't have much of that. My private teacher is driving me crazy. I absolutely have no clue of what he's trying to tell me. Bah. I hate maths. Sorry, Donnie, I know that it's really important to learn all that and I'm trying to, I promise. But I just can't figure it out. I bet if you were here, you wouldn't have a problem to teach me. _

_My mum and my dad are off again, to some place on the other side of the world. I found I don't miss them too much. I guess that's sad, but hey, they aren't here. I deal with that. What I hate is that Tobias and Michael have to go to school again, too. I don't really see them often these days. They have other friends too. Do you think I should ask them to take me with them? I need some air._

_Nicklas didn't bother me for quite some time now. That's cool, but it's actually strange, too. I need a new danger in my life. *smiles* No, I'm just kidding. You wouldn't believe how thankful I am about what you did. Everyone is. The whole street thinks of you as "The mysterious super heroes from outer space" or something. I'll make sure they think of Mike as a Turtle Titan, kay?_

_Speaking of my neighborhood, I think the weather might give us some trouble. It's getting warmer. No snow in weeks now. I guess that's what you get in April, but still. And so more people go for a walk. Someone might see the letters appearing in the small alley, since I can't go out there every day anymore. I wonder if it is the coordinates in the machine you built. I wrote down the coordinates for my house on the back of the letter, just in case._

_I really miss you guys around here. It's too quiet. I don't know what to do. It's been two month already, and I can't bear it. Sorry for whining, but it all seems so surreal. Your letters are all that's keeping me halfway sane. If there is any possibility for you to come back, just do it. I'm here. But if you're busy, that's okay too, I guess. You need to keep the city safe. Just promise me to take care._

_Lots of love,  
_Liza

* * *

4/26/2010

_Guys,  
Are you out there? Busy times, huh? I have to tell you about today. I really did ask Tobias and Michael about going with them. I finally got their phone number. They said yes right away and Tobias even asked me why I didn't go to them earlier. So that's what you get from not doing anything. Nothing. Haha. Anyway, we went to a karaoke bar. I didn't even know we have that here! Awesome! There were lots of people there, and most already knew Tobias and his clique. There's surprisingly many girls in their circle of friends. But I guess homosexually is somewhat attractive for girls. ;-)_

_We had loads of fun this evening. Everyone accepted me right away and they didn't even question my presence. I've never met that many friendly people at once. There's Johanna, a nice and quirly girl who talks without dots and commas, and Cackie, a brunette who is really good at singing, and many many more. To my shame I have to admit I don't remember all the names. I'm not good at that. But they invited me to come again. They say I'm a nice singer, but I guess they're only polite. Michael is pretty good, though. I can see why Tobias likes him. ;-)_

_Anyway, I'm waiting for your letters. I hope you are all right.  
Take care._

Liza_

* * *

_5/01/2010

_Hey guys.  
Is everything all right? I'm getting worried now. It's not that hard to write a few lines, now is it? Where's the big "We'll never lose contact and we'll visit soon" enthusiasm, Mikey? And Leo, what was that about "Friends Forever"? _

_Did the part about homosexuality in my last letter freak you out? Did I say something else wrong? I hope you are all okay. _

_Please write back soon.  
Take care._

Liza

* * *

5/6/2010

_Guys,  
Are you aware of the fact that I'm running to that alley more often now than I check my facebook stats? Probably not, so I'm telling you._

_Went out with the group again yesterday. Fun times. But I miss to hear from you. What's going on?

* * *

_5/8/2010

_Guys? Hello?

* * *

_5/9/2010

_Leo?

* * *

_**A/N: So here's the prologue. Review, because reviews are what keeps me going!  
**


	2. On The Brink Of Sanity

_Thanks for the kind rewievs and to all those who already read this :3 Here we go! Hard times are coming... Sorry I didn't update yesterday. The flu caught up with me. Just grate. Exactly when my classtest phase starts.  


* * *

And she will cry your name in her sleep...  
For she is still waiting for you.

* * *

_**Chapter One: On The Brink Of Sanity

* * *

**I put my pencil aside with a sigh. It escapes my lips almost unnoticed. My head is empty, and it seems so is my chest. I slump on the chair and bury my head in my hands. What is wrong with me?

My gaze wanders over to the yellow-ish sheet of paper on my desk. I stare at it for a second before my thoughts start working. _Leo? _God, I sound so pathethic. But that's how I feel. Or at least how I felt a few days ago. When I still cared.

It seems surreal now, like a dream. It really has only been- what? Two days? Three? I don't remember. I couldn't tell you the date if I wanted to, it was all too fast to recall now. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came. To Germany. To my house. Transformed into humans. I shake my head, half in disbelief, half in bitterness. Did that really happen? Almost without a thought, my hand wanders up to touch my cheek. It is faint, but the scratch is there. _A brick, falling from the ceiling... _The last moments I saw them.

We did write for some time, after that. I wish I could believe that. I don't even have evidence for that. No letters. No nothing. Everytime I press the button on that small black device Donnie sent me, everything from their dimension disappears. I have to place the remaining, empty sheets under a big iron lid to keep them here. And Donnie discovered that only recently. I didn't think about saving their letters back then, I thought I'd have plenty of new ones. Now I wish I would have. I wish I made copies. Anything. But I didn't.

The pencil clatters to the ground, but I do not bother picking it up. Those letters, those three pathetic letters seem to jump at me, to claw at my face. They dance behind my closed eyelids. _Leo? _As if I hadn't stopped believing they'd write back a long time ago. Weeks ago.

A strange noise reaches my ears as if from a distance. Confused, I look up and around. I can't place the sound for a second. Then my gaze falls upon my cellphone which is vibrating and blinking. Oh. A call. As I pick up the small green device and press the green answer-button, I realize that my fingers are shaking.

"Yeah?" I don't know who could be calling me right now. For a second, I don't know where I am either. Then I look around and realize that I must have stood up and gone out of my room in the last few seconds. Strange. I look down the corridor and feel dizzy. _Dudette, this house is a maze! Whoa! Unbelievable!_

The other end of the line is silent. I realize only then that someone was talking to me before. "Sorry. Who's there?"

Someone giggles and I resist the urge to throw my cell away. Who is that? Then a high-pitched voice half-sings into the phone- "Sweeeeettiiiieeee! It's meeeee! How are you? And more importantly, where are you?"

The neurons in my brain start to fire. A name popps up. _Johanna. _A smile tuggs at my lips as I speak. "Hey honey. I'm at home. Why?"

In the silence that follows, my gaze falls on my calendar that's hanging from my wall. My eyes go wide. "Oh no! Honey, I am so sorry! I totally forgot about today. Hold on, and everyone, stay where you are. I'm there in two seconds." I shut the phone before they can even answer and fly down the stairs and into my boots. My handbag is still right where I left it. I grab it and then I'm out the door and on my bike, cycling down the street at full speed. _Holy sh- snap. How could I forget karaoke afternoon?_

Only halfway down the street the thought first occurs to me that I left the last letter on my desk. And only then I start to wonder whether it is a good idea to go out at all or not. But it's too late now. _Let the fun begin, _I think, but the moment of happiness I had when I heard that girl's voice is over. What's left is bitterness. _Let the fun begin._

I can't really miss my destination, the small bus stop not far from my home. Everyone else is already there and waiting. I suddenly realize that they missed the first bus because of me, and a wave of guilt washes over me. I don't even really know those people. And yet, there they are, smiling and not mad at all. By now, I even know their names. _Charine, _called Cackie. Dunno why. _Johanna, _a real sunshine, called Jojo. _Emily, _short Em. _Phillip, _Emily's boyfriend. _Nikolai, _a friend of Phil. _Lucie. _And me. I realize with a start that Tobias and Michael are not with them, but before I can ask, Johanna storms over to me and embraces me tightly.

I am pulled off my bike and stumble. "Jojo, take it easy!", Lucie chuckles and everyone else laughs. The small, brown-haired girl with the huge eyes only grins up at me and doesn't let go at all. "Sweetie, I was worried about you! Are you all right?" She then pulls back and looks into my face questioningly. "Have you been crying? Don't worry, Micha will be just fine. It's just a routine."

I wipe my tumbs over my cheeks and look at them. They are lightly black. _My mascara. Dang it. _The rest of her sentence hits me like an electric current then. "Why? What's with Micha? Is something wrong?" I stare at my new .. friends with horror.

"No, no!" Johanna realizes her mistake, but before she can make it better (or worse, for that matter), Charine interrupts. "He's at the hospital for the last check. He's all right. As Jojo said, it's just a routine." The much more reasonable and thoughtful brunette smiles at me reassuringly. Then Emily starts to hop up and down and waves wildly. "The bus! Hey, bus, over here!"

Phillip laughs and embraces her to kiss her one more time before we enter the vehicle. As we pay our tickets, I wonder why that action made my heart hurt. Everything lately tends to do that. Memories are everywhere. Which is ridiculous, but true. Slowly, the realization of what's making me so sad starts to sink in, but I don't allow the feeling to reach me. Right now I'm gonna have fun. Basta.

"Are Micha and Tobi gonna come later?" I ask. Emily nodds encouragingly. "Yeah, they're prolly already on their way. They just need to take another bus from the hospital. The..." she frowns, "The SB87, I think. The blue- and- green- one."

"I don't get why you all are that obsessed with the boys." Nikolai shakes his head in disbelief. "They can't even sing."

"Michael can", Johanna protests immediately. "Other than you." She sticks her tongue at him. "Besides, don't you think they are absolutely adorable?"

"Hell yes, they are", I agree. Something about a gay couple is unbelievingly cute. Nikolai seems to think otherwise. "I don't know. I think it's kinda strange." He looks up to find us all glaring at him. (All but Phillip who decides to keep himself out of this argument.) Quickly, he holds up his hands in surrender. "Hey, easy there. In the end, it's not my beer. As long as everyone's happy." He rolls his eyes when the mood relaxes.

We get out of the bus and walk the last few steps to our destination- the small karaoke bar. Loud music beats through the windows and the opened door. "Hey, that's Rihanna's new song!" Charine shouts and fastenes her pace. Everyone else follows her lead, laughing. Once we are inside and have blocked a table, it takes Tobias and Michael only ten minutes to come in as well. It's a funny evening and I almost forget my depressing thoughts. Even though Tobias keeps glancing at me from sideways. I try my best to ignore him. I almost manage to.

Almost.

Only late that night, when I lay up in my bed, the images come back. The questions. Nights have the ability to change everything. No doubts every great plan and script was formed at nights. The darkness and the shadows have the ability to do that.

Why does that hurt me so much? I have many people I hang out with now. I am not alone anymore. So why can't I just forget those comicbook characters?

_Because they were the first real friends I ever had. The first adventure. The catalysator for everything else that happened since then. That's why._

With these thoughts, I fall asleep. The last letter remains on my desk, untouched.

For now.


	3. A Song On A Beautiful Day

_Chapter Two. Not much to say here. Still ill. And I was caught in the wrong month. No kidding, for more than 2 weeks now I wrote down "October" everywhere I went. Baah. This chap is kind of a songfic with the German song "Seine Strassen" by Xavier Naidoo. His songs are wonderful, he's a lot into God, and some of his songs are even english. Just put them into Google Translator to see them in your language, will ya? They're worth it.  


* * *

So I am basically your average teenage girl.  
My hair never goes the way I want it to go,  
My room can't stay clean for more than a day  
And there is this guy I'm absolutely crazy about.

* * *

_**Chapter Two: A Song On A Beautiful Day  


* * *

**

I wake up with a strange feeling. Something lingers in the air, just beyond my reach. It is like the aftereffects of a nice dream. I dare not move, but eventually, the feeling fades and leaves me wondering. I am more awake than I normally am. Even though it's only seven in the morning.

Seven in the morning? I turn around with a groan. It's Saturday. I could sleep all the time if I wanted to. But something woke me up, and now I have to deal with that. A song is playing in my head when I stand up and change my clothes. I don't bother to get new ones from my shelf. I just use the same pants I wore yesterday. Who cares, after all? No one's here today.

_Ihr veranstaltet Feste auf den Strassen _  
_ Genehmigt von der falschen Instanz _  
_ Seid ihr bereit für den letzten Tanz _  
_ Eure Anteilnahme hält sich so in Grenzen_

I don't even turn on the lights as I leave my room and stroll downstairs to get some food. I got better at my cooking recently. Tobias taught me to. He's amazingly good, if not as good as-

I stop in my tracks. _Mikey. _That's what I was about to think. But I won't. I won't let them get to me. I will _not. _Determined, I start to work on my eggs sunny-side up. The hot butter is sizzling in the pan while I search for the eggs in the fridge. They are in the top shelf, and I have to stretch to reach them. Once again, I wonder why we have a fridge that big when no one's ever at home anyways.

_Eure Augen vermissen jeden Glanz _  
_ Der Tod kommt auch nach wenigen _  
_ Rette sich wer kann, doch wer kann's _

The song plays on in my mind. _Rette sich wer kann, doch wer kann's? _I don't get that line out of my head. _Save yourself who can, but who can? _I shake my head and put two eggs into the frying pan. The transparent parts turn white as soon as they hit the metal. It sizzles and smells wonderful. _Let's see if I can fry them without screwing the yellow part again_. I whistle along to the tune in my head while I add salt and pepper to my eggs and cut some tomatos. I recently made the experience that almost everything tastes better with some fresh tomatoes.

After everything is fried and yummy (even though the yellow egg part run all over my egg again), I put it on a plate and wipe the rest of the butter and salt out of the pan with a piece of bread. It smells nice. I am really proud of myself. I turn off the heat and sit down on the big wooden table to eat. Without my whistling, the house seems empty, so I humm along instead between my bites.

_Es sind seine Strassen, von je her _  
_ Seine Strassen, von den Bergen bis ans Meer _  
_ Seine Wege, der Herr führt sein Heer _  
_ Und Eure schlecht gebauten Pfade machen es dem Thronwagen schwer_

I put my plates in the sink and stand up. The strange energy from this morning is still there and makes me restless. I decide to go for a walk to burn off the calories. I started to look for my weight and such some time ago. Guess since I have that huge training room downstairs in the cellar, I can at least use it. So well, eating what I eat is probably not my best idea to lose weight, but hey. You have to give yourself some fun too.

I don't even need my jacket. Even though it's only about eight in the morning, the sun is up and shining. I take it with me anyways, just out of a habit. _Keys, check. Jacket, check. LipBalm, check.. let's go._

_Ins Totenbett wird mich keiner bringen _  
_ Ich räume Strassen und ebene Wege richtig frei _  
_ Bis seine Strassen sich um die höchsten Berge winden _  
_ Ist kein Schaden und kein Schmerz vorbei_

Almost without a second thought my feet carry me out of the area I grew up in and into the near neighbourhood. I know I'm heading towards the alleyway, but I don't really care. I just walk and look at the tiny, fluffy clouds in the blue sky and enjoy some singing birds and such. Just walk. I didn't know how nice that was. Walking without a purpose, just because you can? I guess I'm a lucky girl to have enough free time for that.

It is a fifteen-minutes way to that alley, and I almost regret that I didn't take my with me, but the day is just too beautiful to be mad about anything. I try not to think about the possibility that there will be a new letter from _them. _I already know there won't. So I kind of just drift along. Fine with me.

_Vorbei sind die Zeiten der Vergebung _  
_ Vorbei sind die Tage die gezählt _  
_ Schafft die Bewegung zum Ziel der Erhebung _  
_ Für den der es verwegt_

_Over are the days of forgiveness, _I think. _Over are the days that are counted and lost. _The song won't leave me, even though I just discovered it recently, and even though it totally doesn't suit this beautiful day. I shake my head and turn around the corner of an old, white building. I'm almost there. Through the clear air, I hear foreign footsteps and wonder distantly whose it can be. But I am not the only living being on this planet, so hey. There had to be somebody else out somewhere.

_Hier können wenige nur wenigen vertrauen _...  
_Und eure schlecht gebauten Wege machen es dem Thronwagen schwer_

I stop dead in my tracks. Once again.

The letter on my desk at home comes to my mind. One simple word. A small name. The three letters dance in front of my eyes now, and I feel dizzy. Distantly I realize that the birds stopped singing, and I assume it is some kind of sign, but what kind? A bad one? Or maybe a good, glorious moment of silence?

A tall figure is stumbling over the empty street in front of me. It's a boy. His skin has the color of really light coffee latte, and he looks healthy and strong. I can see the muscles under his skin ripple with every movement he makes. And even though he seems to be insecure and somewhat clumsy, there is still grace in his step.

The sun reflects on the blue, silky strands of his hair, but I already run over to him and embraced him tightly.

This moment, I am very sure I'll never, ever let go again.

_Rette sich, wer kann. Doch wer kann's?

* * *

Yeah, kind of a short one here. But there'll be more soon. I promise. Oh, if anyone wants the translation to that song, just ask me, I can PM it to you. It doesn't have anything to do with the fic, though. Not much at least._


	4. The Wrong Side Of The Mirror

_Been sick. Again. Weather is still - bad. Yeah, bad. I'm not really fine again yet, but here's chap 3, before I have to stop again. Sorry.  


* * *

You sent a letter, the third one in a row  
And I don't know what to answer, I really don't know  
I don't even know your name, why do you keep writing me?  
And the paper cuts behind your words are killing me  


* * *

_**Chapter Three: Wrong Side Of The Mirror  


* * *

**

So I'm storming over the street and practically flying over the hot stone and right into his arms. And next thing I know- I'm flat on the ground.

I guess I look kind of messed up in that moment. I bet I do. But this was one thing I totally didn't think of. The boys are totally jumpy. They search for weapons as soon as the door bell rings. I forgot that before. Now I pay the price. Because boy, my butt hurts.

"Oh, my", the boy who looks like Leo says. "I am so sorry. I was surprised. Are you all right?" His voice sounds different than in my memory, but I don't care. He offers me a hand and helps me up, but keeps his distance. As if he is afraid that I might jump him again. Actually, that could very well happen. Still I don't care.

I stroke imaginary dust off my pants and make a face. "Yeah, I'm fine." I stare at him for a moment- at his strange blue hair, which seems to be even longer than last time; his milky skin, which looks pale in the sunlight; the thin scars all over his arms. He wears clothes this time- blue jeans and a black T-Shirt- but I see this only from the corners of my vision, because his eyes are still the same. Onyx black orbs with enough knowledge to write a book about. Or lead a clan with, for that matter.

He is still eyeing me warily and I wonder why. I wonder about a lot of things right now. "Leo", I say, "What are you doing here? Where are your brothers? Is everything all right?"

His eyes go wide. "Leo? You mean me? So that really is my name?"

I am totally confused now. Maybe this is a prank. Maybe this is really Mikey in disguise and I just don't get it. But no, that can't be. The image is too perfect, too much alike. "Yeah. So?"

"I have brothers", he mutters. "That explains a lot." He shakes his head in obvious confusion- so we are two already who are confused. Nice. I start to believe that something is terribly wrong. "Leo", I say cautiously, and when he doesn't react, I call again. "Leonardo." His gaze wanders towards me and I can't believe the helplesness shown in it. _What happened? _"Leonardo, tell me what happened. Please. You can trust me."

He nods, slowly, and I breathe a silent sigh of relief. At least he's listening to me. "I don't know much. All I can say is that when I wole up, like, two days ago, I was in a totally strange place and I was .. green?" He frowns, as if he weren't sure about that either. "I really don't know where I ended up, even though it _did _feel kind of familiar. Then I went out of the room I was in, and I was alone, but there was a big room..."

I can't believe what I hear. Leo is obviously suffering from amnesia. He didn't even recognize the sewers. But there was a puzzle piece missing- "And you were alone?"

"No, no." He shakes his head vehemently. "Luckily enough, there was a friend downstairs. I know he is a friend, because I kind of remember his face, so." He smiles at me which is actually more scary than comforting. He looks too innocent and childish in this moment. Like he doesn't remember being a warrior at all. "So who was it? Was it Casey?" He frowns, helpless, and I try to explain. "A big guy with blue-black hair and a Brooklyn accent?"

Again, Leo shakes his head no. "It was Ue", he says, as if this explains everything. "A friend, as I said. He told me that something strange happened and asked me if I remembered anything. When I told him no, he was really friendly and made food and all that. I think he is some kind of magician." His eyes are wide with wonder when he says that. "He can make things from nothing."

I am really at a loss now. I thought I knew all the characters by now, but I have no idea who this "Ue" guy is. Sounds strange, like japanese. Maybe I missed someone in the episodes with the ancient one- or the tribunal. I shudder when I think about the Ninja Tribunal. From what I know, the storyline Leo and his brothers live in isn't that far yet.

"Nice, nice", I say, unsure whether this is a good or a bad thing. "But where are your brothers? You know, Michelangelo, and Donatello, and Raphael?"

He shruggs. "I don't really know who that is. Sorry. I did see some really messy rooms, though. Explains a lot if I have brothers."

This is bad, bad, BAD news. Leonardo, leader of the clan, protector of everyone, warrior of bushido, doesn't even remember his own brothers? How in the world did that happen?

"Maybe we should go to my place", I suggest. All of a sudden, the sun seems cold to me. "You can tell me everything in detail there."

He shruggs again. "Sure thing." And he follows me like a lamb. I am really worried now. How long has he been here in my Universe already? How long has he had this amnesia? What exactly is wrong with him? I really have to find out fast. And just who is Ue? I don't like the sound of any of this. I really have to look up this guy on google once we're home. But Leo says he knows him. So he can't be all bad, can he?

"By the way, who are you?" said boy asks me all of a sudden. That gets me off guard. "Huh? Me?" It makes sense, I guess. He doesn't know his brothers, so he won't know me either. "I am Liza", I say, soothingly. "I am your friend, and I will help you."

"Okay." He willingly follows me. _Bad news. _A normal Leo, even a normal Leo with amnesia, wouldn't have believed me. Maybe this Ue guy is not that nice, then. But I have more important matters to solve now, or at least I think that. As soon as we're at my house, Leo stops and stares up the walls. "Wow, this is a biiiiiig Lair", he says and whistles.

"It's not a Lair, it's just a home", I explain somewhat lame. "But it's good that you remember what you call your own place." I shake my head and let us in. No one is there, and the tidy hallways are empty and silent. "Booh", Leo shouts and the echo shouts back. He laughs. "That's fun."

Believe it or not, but my favorite hero of all times is getting on my nerves then.

"Do you remember your Sensei, at least? Master Splinter? Big, grey rat with a robe, hard to miss?" I try to make him remember something. _He can't have forgotten his father, now can he?_

Leo frowns really hard. His eyes narrow, but instead of remembering, he looks like he's going to be sick. "I don't know", he admits in a whisper. "It's strange. It's like a blank spot where the name should go." _Oh, great. Obviously, he can._

"Why are you here now?" I lead him to the kitchen and make him sit down while I prepare some tea. He doesn't answer at first, he just looks around really hard as if he remembered being here before, but then he shruggs. "Don't know. Ue said he could help me and told me to come over, so I did. He told me to get some clothes, and I did that too,and then it made, like, _flash! _And I was here." He sounds as if it is no big deal, but it is. Ue must have known what the machine Donnie talked about would do. And he activated it and sent Leo here. _Definitely not a nice guy. _Another thought occurs to me- _just because Leo knows his face he doesn't have to be a friend of his._

"Yeah, uh." I don't know what to say about that. The hot water is boiling, so I fill a cup of green tea and hand it to my 'patient'. He takes a sip and then makes a face.

"Uuuuh. You have any sugar?"


	5. The Bitter Truth

_Still sick. Gone from Monday to Friday. And somehow my chaps are way longer in Windows Word than in the Document Manager... *sighs* Life's hard.  
Oh yeah, as long as Leo's got amnesia, and no one else is around, everything will be Liza's POV, in case you wondered.  
Anyone wondered who Ue is and put him into google? I didn't know his name. Surprise.  


* * *

Foreign faces on a screen, smiling and asking 'Where've you been?'  
And all I can do is sit in my chair and wonder what they could mean

* * *

_**Chapter 4: The Bitter Truth

* * *

**Leo gets his sugar. By now everything feels foggy and distant, as if I am dreaming this. Just that this time it's not a nice dream. (Okay, so the encounter of Nicklas was not a nice thing either, but at least the boys were conscious.) Leo's still acting like a puppy. I really need to know where his brothers are, because from what little he allready told me, they weren't there when he woke up. Like that.

Which really makes me wonder. Because they wouldn't just leave a Leo with amnesia in an empty Lair, especially not with some random character that I've never heard of. Something's fishy. And I know how I can find out.

"Excuse me for a second", I say and start for my room (and my macbook). Then I think about it and change my mind. "Wait, no, don't wait. Come with me." And puppy-like, Leo stands up and follows me out of the kitchen. He even gives me puppy-eyes and asks "Can I take my tea with me?" Totally Mikey-llike. Freaky.

But of course he can and we go upstairs and through the loooooong hallway that leads to my door. I am beyond the point where I care about a possible second culture shock or something. So I just open the door and let us in.

Leo stops in the doorway and frowns. For a second I think I see something like memories flickering in his onyx eyes, but then they are gone again. Left me with the child-like, innocent Leonardo who doesn't have a clue who he is. As it is, he just looks at my posters of him and his brothers and smiles. "Hey, there was one in my room too, but it was a new one. Moving stuff. Pretty cool." I need a second to get that he's talking about the mirror in his room. I have a hard time not to cry.

"Yeah, cool" I mutter under my breath and start my computer. The start screen loads, I type in the password, and there we go. Leo's standing behind me all of a sudden, and the soundless movement makes me flinch. At least that remained the same. Good. I think.

"What are you doing?" he asks. Totally oblivious, which is bad, but it actually makes handling him a lot more easier. Once again, I wonder what could have changed him like that... Well, I'm going to find out.

"Google", I answer and it seems he understands. I don't get that. What makes one forget his family and still remember Google?

The internet window opens for me. I think for a second, then put "TMNT Ue character" into the search.

"I don't think Ue's on www", Leo pipes up from behind me. "Our existence is kind of a secret." He frowns and then makes a face. "I think. Uuuh, brain freeze."

Google proves him wrong. _About 56.700 results, 0.33 seconds, _the webpage tells me.

I quickly scroll through the offered links. The first three tell me something about TMNT games and the u**_s_**e of certain characters in them. The fourth one is a hit. But I'm not happy about what TMNTpedia tells me. Not happy at all.

_**Ultimate Ninja (Aliases: Ue-sama, Ve-sama)  
**The **Ultimate Ninja** is a character in the TMNT series. In his initial appearances, he was an adversary of the turtles._

Bad news. And I'm talking really bad news. The mysterious friend of Leo who was in the Lair with him is actually the _Ultimate Ninja? _That can hardly be true. Whatever he is, Ue is definitely not a friend of the turtles. Or at least shouldn't be. Maybe the turtle universe Leo came from is not like the universe I think to know? Maybe Ue is a real buddy?

_Yeah. As if that ever happened._

"Leo, we have a problem", I say and spin my chair. Leo is on the bed and drinks his tea. His wide, innocent eyes turn to face me, and I feel really dirty to have to break the news to him, but a fan has to do what a fan has to do. "Ue is not your friend", I tell him.

Leo laughs at me. "Yes he is. He's really nice." Giggling, as if it had been a really cool joke, he comes over to me and looks at the screen. "That's his clothes", he explains and points at the picture shown on screen. "But Ue didn't wear a mask. His neck was muuuuuuuch longer-" he manages to form a biiiiiiiiig space with his waving hands without spilling tea- "and he was actually kind of fat." Another giggle.

Something happened to my brain, because the picture of Ue cleared the fog and now it's working on full speed. The puzzle pieces fall into place right away. "The Ultimate Draco", I whisper and then everything happens really fast.

Leo frowns as another memory floats through the back of his mind; the temperature in the room drops for about 10°; I feel the strong urge to call Tobias and Michael; and in a flash, a letter appears on my bed.

What a great day.

But it still totally doesn't explain the last month of letterfree patience.

I open all the windows to let hot air get in. Leo stops frowning and the 'old' carefree expression appears on his face. Then I read the letter on my bed, written on thick yellow paper in a neat handwriting I know.

Then I call Michael and Tobias. Because Houston, we have one heck of a problem.

_**Liza,**_

_What is your problem? Your letters are really annoying.  
Can't one have a short vacation without your supervision? I really  
don't know why you bother that much and don't just come over  
and talk to me yourself, but since you obviously won't, here  
we go. Stop writing me. I'm not your dog. And I really need a break._

_**Leo**_

_**

* * *

**As I said, short one again. But I promise that the next ones are gonna be longer. As you can see, this chap was important. So hey. Bear with me.  
_


	6. Maybe I'm A Fool, But I'm Not Stupid

_Uh.. sorry? Flu is cruel? :'  
Oh yeah, thanks to Mikell and bluepickles92 for the great reviews. You rock. And yes, blue, Draco is definitely 'up to something'.  
Tomorrow I'm leaving for London. I'll be back and (hopefully) updating on Saturday, so hang in there, folks!  
As allways, reviews are much appreciated. Take care!_

_

* * *

He takes her in his arms and he doesn't know why  
But he thinks that he begins to see  
And she says "Don't let go,  
never give up, it's such a wonderful life"  
[Hurt- Wonderful Life]

* * *

_**Chapter 5: Maybe I'm A Fool, But I'm Not Stupid**

"What's up?"

Michael's voice sounds a bit breathless, and I wonder why he is anwering Tobias' cell. On the other hand, they _are _a couple, and he probably saw my name on the display. "Yo, Micha", I answer. "Is everything all right? Ya got time?"

He snorts. "Just a second." I hear him shouting something, but he has his hand over the speaker, and so I can't make out the words. Then there is a strange noise, like thick paper being torn, and another shout. This is getting really weird. Michael's next words, however, answer the questions.

"Sorry", he says. "We're having a renovation over here. Tobias is somewhere, but don't ask me where. So here I am. Got a few minutes, so what's going on, girl?"

I am unsure what to say. Obviously, they can't just come over and help me. _Of course_ the renovation of the appartment room they want to share in the future had to start _today._ Just my luck again.

"Look", I say. From the corner of my eye, I see Leo picking up the letter "he" sent me and reading it. Uh oh. Don't think that's a good idea, fella. "I know it's much to ask, but I have.. kind of.. a problem over here." I shoot a nervous glance at my guest who seems to be reading the letter a second time. "Leo showed up. But it's.. difficult."

There is a moment of silence in which I can hear the men shouting in the background. Something heavy falls to the ground and there are angry cries. Then Michael answers. "Leo showed up? You sure? I'll tell Too. We'll be there in no time, don't worry. They can't do any more damage without us than they do with us here." He sounds angry, but not at her. "Give us half an hour. We'll get the next bus."

With that, the hangs up on me. I stare at the phone in my hands, both thankful and nervous. What will they say about Leo's amnesia? Wait. Leo. There was something I need to do.

The letter.

I turn around in time to see Leo sitting down on the bed. He looks pale, and his hands are shaking. He's still holding the letter. "That's my name", he says and when he looks at me, his onyx eyes are wide and confused. "It's my name, I remember now. But why did I write that to this girl?" He frowns. "Wait, that is your name, isn't it? Why did I write something this mean to you?"

I sit down on the bed next to him. He looks as if he expects me to slap him in the face. "Listen", I say. "You did not write this." Only in the moment I say it aloud I know it is actually true. He didn't write this. Even if there were a small time difference between sending a letter and getting it, and even if this Leo were a doppelganger, he didn't write it. "It's totally not your handwriting", I say. "And besides, you have a way better writing style."

I take the letter from his hands. For a moment, I think about tearing it to pieces. I am really frustrated now. What on earth is going on here? But I don't. It might be evidence later on. It's probably important for the case.

"I did not?" Leo's voice is small and shy. I feel the strong urge to hug him, but I'm not sure this is the right time. "You did not", I say. He seems relieved, but obviously he is afraid. "Then where did the letter come from?"

"Once again, I hate to break the bad news to you, but I guess your 'friend' Ue sent it." He looks at me again, his eyes dark with fighting emotions. I can only imagine how hard the whole situation has to be for him. It's hard for _me. _But at least _I _still know who I am. He doesn't. For all he knows, I'm a stranger to him. And even if he _does _remember me, it's not like we had much time to get to know each other before.

"Maybe you should get some rest", I whisper soothingly. "It's all gonna be okay. Trust me there." Now I _do _hug him after all. He seems so lost, so alone. "You can just stay here, in my bed, and I'll prepare something to eat and when you wake up, it'll all be better. Promise." He listens to me unmoving, but I can tell that I reach him. And he definitely looks tired.

"Yeah, that sounds good", he finally admits. His voice is shaky and unsure. His blue hair falls into his face and hides his expression from me when he turns away, but I see enough to know he's almost crying. My voice gets like that, too.

"Fine." I stand up and give him room. He lies down on the bed, and wrapps himself tightly into my blankets. I shut out the sunlight coming through the windows and the room gets dark. When I tiptoe out of the room, my laptop securely under my arm, I could swear he's allready asleep.

Good. That gives me some more time to prepare everything for Tobias' and Michael's arrival.

When the two boys jog along the street from the bus stop, they don't know what to expect. Michael told his boyfriend that Liza had a problem, because Leo'd shown up. The strange boy from a few month ago, yes. He still doesn't know that the brothers were actually comicbook characters transformed by a strange machine, and he wouldn't believe it anyway. All he knows that this time, Leonardo is alone. And that something's wrong.

Liza opens the door before they can ring the bell. "Shhh", she makes and holds her finger in front of her lips. "Be quiet. He's asleep. No use in waking him up."

She motions them to come in, and they put off their shoes and follow her to the living room. Tobias has white paint on his pants, and Michael's hair is ruffled, but different than normally, the girl doesn't comment on their appearance.

Inside the living room, a surprise awaits them.

The table is loaded with paper, in different sizes and colors. There are markers and pencils everywhere. A laptop is set up in the middle of the mess, right next to two really odd hats that look like Sherlock Holmes'. A ton of other stuff is lying around, and a big magnet board is set up on the wall next to the T.V., with two sheets of paper allready pinned on to it.

"What is all this..." Tobias can't find the right words to describe what he sees. "Stuff?" he finishes rather lame. Michael behind him remains silent in stunned awe. Liza's green eyes are sparkling, but there is something determined about her, something that tells them this is not just for fun. "We're on a mission", she says, and her voice is hard, without the usual humor.

"Phew", Michael says. He doesn't know what else to say.

"Where's Leo?" Tobias asks, looking around. It's true, the blue-haired boy he was expecting is nowhere to be seen. Liza points at the ceiling. "Sleeping upstairs", she says.

Then she explains the problem. While she speaks, she points out important facts on the magnet board behind her. Everything is neatly written down on the paper, and Tobias can't help but wonder how on earth she did all that in barely 30mins. But he doesn't ask. Because it becomes clear that the girl is dead serious.

Michael seems to be of a different opinion. His eyes go wider and wider, and a smirk covers his features. Obviously, he doesn't believe them. Why should he? He accepts his boyfriend's obsession for the TMNT cartoon, but he is not a fan himself. He doesn't know anything about them.. He doesn't even know Leo _is _one of them.

"And it's all true", Liza finishes. The paper behind her says "Leo's appearance" in the middle, circeled, and there are lines leading to points like 'amnesia' and 'Draco' and 'brothers missing'. Next to it is a small sheet of paper with accurate lines on it that looks like a short latter.

"You think the others are around as well?" Tobias asks the moment Michael wants to know "What is all this stupidness about?"

"Well", Liza starts, but is interrupted. A yelp comes from upstairs and then Leo is running down the stairs and into the living room. "Whoa!" he shouts. "Liza, what am I doing here and where..."

He makes a face as if he has a headache. His blue hair is ruffled and his black eyes are wide.

"And who am I?" he whispers.

"Well, that explains part of my question", Michael muses.


	7. Bits And Pieces

_Here I am, back from London. Better not ask how it was. Sheesh, I really hate my English Class. But thanks to my friend Jojo, I'm still sane. Well. Not more insane than before, anyway. I love friends. They are so... friendly. Okay, forget the sane part. Here we go.  
Leaving right again tomorrow, for Tarifa this time. For those of you that don't know, Tarifa is a city on the south-most part of Spain. Holidays Rock. Yeah! See you next Monday!

* * *

I'm so confused, I don't know in and out  
I'm so afraid I want to cry and shout  
I want to hide underneath my blanket  
And have someone make the ghosts go away  
Pieces of my past are haunting me  
But I have a feeling I need them

* * *

_**Chapter 6: Bits And Pieces**

"Leo!" I say in what I hope is a soothing voice. I take a careful step towards him, in case he attacks me again, but he just stands there silent and stiff and stares at the furniture with wide eyes. Still, I don't trust the peace. "Leonardo", I repeat, firm this time. He looks at me with enough confusion to break my heart. "Yes?", he whispers, and the elan from before is gone and replaced by the voice of a frightened child.

"Oh, Leo", I shush him and give him a hug. He accepts it willingly, even hugs me back. He buries his head in my shoulder and takes a deep breath before he finally lets go, and I feel the heat creeping up my cheeks, despite the situation we are in. "Leonardo", I say, because his full name seems to calm him down. "Look at me."

Willingly, he lifts his chin and looks into my face. His onyx eyes are dark, but not entirely empty anymore. "Do you remember me?" I ask, slowly and extra clearly. His eyes narrow for a moment before he answers. "Yes, I do. How could I ever forget you?"

_You seem perfectly fine with forgetting everyone else you ever knew, _I think but hold back the comment. Instead, I move my hand into the directions of Tobi and Micha. "And those two?"

"Tobias and Michael", Leo answers easily. "Yo, guys. How's it going? Still happy and lovely-dovely?"

I have never seen Leo talking like that. Tobias seems equally taken aback. Michael, on the other hand, isn't. "Sure thing", he answers with a smile. "But what 'bout you? Heard you lost your memories 'n' all that?" He makes a face. "Seriously, dude, that's a problem, don't you think?"

Leo's eyebrows rise. "But I didn't. I remember all of you perfectly fine."

I can't believe that. "What about Michelangelo? Donatello? Raphael? Sensei Splinter? Do you remember them as well?"

The _ouch-what-a-headache-_look creeps into Leo's face again. "Uh, not sure", he answers vaguely. "Friends of yours?"

Even Michael seems surprised now. "Whoa, dude. That's your brothers, man, I even met them last time you were here. Liza was right after all then." He sounds as if that were a surprise for him, and I shoot him a murderous look.

"Do you remember anyone else?" Tobias asks slowly. "Like April? Casey? Or what about Leatherhead, Professor Hon-" he breaks off when I make 'no no no'-movements behind Leo's back. Their timeline is not that far yet, as far as I'm concerned at least. "Some of them?" the boy finishes. And Leo's face lightens up. "Of course I know them. They're good as family.. I think." Bad face again.

"This is mayorly screwed up", I say and sit down on one of the living room chairs. "I bet that's all Draco's fault, too. But why wouldn't Leo remember his family, but everyone else? That doesn't make sense."

"Uh, guys, I'm right here, you know. I'm in the same room with you." Leo sounds annoyed, but we ignore him anyway.

"It does make sense, in a way", Tobias says slowly. "Just think about it. Draco, and the Ultimate Ninja-guy, know about the others. They know about Mike, Don and Raph, and they certainly know about Splinter. They also know about Usagi, and maybe Traximus. But about April and Case? Nope. And how could they even begin to imagine a world like ours?"

Tobias is right. It does make sense. In a very weird, not-right, senseless, ironic, making-my-head-hurt way sense.

"The big question is, what do we do?"

I didn't ask anyone specific, I just thought out loud. But they all start to think about that. "Let's make groups", Tobias suggests. "We can ask Leo, write clues down, or go to the alley and look for them first. Scroll through the episode list on wikipedia for hints. Google Ultimate Draco. Make food." Michael smiles about that. But I'm not convinced.

"We're only three", I say and quickly add "four" when Leo frowns again. "How are we supposed to do that?"

For the first time in a while, Michael speaks. "I really should go back to the renovation", he says. Talking to Leo, he explains "Too and I are moving into a new appartment together." A smile spreads over the blue-haired boy's face. "Congrats, then", he answers.

"But we can ask the others if they want to help", Michael goes on. "It's weekend, and it's boring at home. Besides, we wanted to meet this evening anyway, didn't we?"

"I'm not sure about that", I answer. "I hardly know them. Why would they want to help me with something like that?"

Tobias patts my back at that. "You may not realize it", he whispers into my ear, "but you are a very adorable person." I blush instantly. Stupid thin skin. "And they like you. I say, it's worth a try." Then he straightens up. "But can I let you go back to that mess alone?", he asks his boyfriend.

Michael takes a dramatic pose. "Oh no, I am gonna die from..." he searches for a good word, "from having too much a lunch break!" They both laugh half-heartedly and I wonder if the work is really going that slowly. But hey. The idea is there, and I go on a phone-hunt.

"Found it", Tobias calls half an hour later from underneath the sofa. Michael is long since gone, and Leo somewhere in the kitchen to make some sandwiches. I figured he can't make too much a mess with jam and cheese. Well, thinking about it, he probably can. But now it's too late.

"Thanks", I answer and take the phone from his dusty hands. "No idea how it got there. Sorry." He shruggs with a wide grin and jumps over the back of the sofa and into the cushions. "What are friends for."

_Friends. _Suddenly, I am really nervous. "Maybe you should make the call, after all", I say and give the red-head the phone back. "They might listen to you more." Tobi rolls his eyes but takes the phone anyway. "Yes, ma'am", he jokes and types in a long number. I am really impressed. The kid seems to know all his friends' cell numbers.

Another half an hour later, the doorbell rings and a group of people comes in. Only then I realize they've never been to my house before, and suddenly I find it embarassing. Too many rooms. Too much useless space. Their own homes are mostly small and simple. But they don't seem too surprised or even angry or anything. They actually find it pretty cool.

"It's soooo big."  
"Did you see those stairs?"  
"Is the floor italian marble?"  
"Wow, that painting is cool!"  
"I want to see your room!"

Tobias calms everyone down with some difficulties. "Now, listen up, everyone", he says and shortly introduces Leo. "That's Liza's... friend from America, Leonardo. He is looking for his brothers." Leo seems to disagree with that, but doesn't say anything. "We will start some kind of detective agency, based here."

And then we make groups, and I have a feeling this is going to be a long, long day.

_**~tmnt~tmnt~tmnt~tmnt~**_

"Aaaaaaaah!"

With a loud thud, Hamato Raphael's shell connects with solid ground. Groaning, he sits up and wipes dust off his green skin. It looks unnaturally red in his hands, like dusted clay, even though not half as red as his mask. His amber eyes blaze as he takes in the scenery. The area around him looks like a desert, a desert with red sand and spiky cliffs and stones around him. The orange sky shows a row of planets in the distance.

Definitely not earth.

"Where the shell am I?", Raphael wonders aloud and finally stands up. His head hurts, but that doesn't stop him from remembering. _Draco, and this Ue guy. They attacked us. And they said something about destroying sensei!_

Suddenly afraid, Raphael looks around again. All he can see is empty land. Sand, stones and sand. No one else is around, and he starts to get really worried. "Master Splinter!" he calls out, and when no answer comes, he calls again. "Leo!"

But the desert remains silent except for the echo of his own voice.

"Wait a minute." Raphael tries to calm down and focus on the task ahead. "There was that Draco-Ninja-Guy. And he had the time cepter..." But it is no use, and his temper breaks through. "Where did that whacko send me?" he shouts out and kicks the next few rocks against some cliffs in the distance. But again, no answer comes. He is alone.

Or is he?

Suddenly, a distant growl makes Raphael look up. It sounds almost like the sound his shell-cycle makes when he's driving through Central Park. But that can't possibly be motorcycles coming down the next dune, or can they?

Streams of dust show several objects that come nearer at a fast pace. Raph realizes the danger too late. When he starts running, the vehicles allready fly over him, using the cliff behind him as a ramp. They drive off faster than he can see, but one of them skirts to a halt and tilts to the side. With an angry growl, Raph draws his sais. But when the dust clears a little, he sees that it actually really is a motorcycle lying in the red sand.

Cautiously, the ninja turtle approaches the cycle. "What's the big idea? Can't you see I'm walking here?" He is really angry now. As if he hadn't got enough problems! But what he sees then makes his temper vanish like dust in the wind. Two persons are lying not far from the vehicle, unmoving. A man and a woman. From years of experience, Raph knows that a crash with a motorcycle can very well kill someone, and suddenly the fear is back.

"Oh shell", he whispers.

Then he jumps down into the sand and prepares himself for the worst.


	8. The Unconvincing Turtle Titan

_A/N: Sorry for the long, long wait. I had to settle some things. Well, they are still not settled, but it's not because I didn't try..  
Oh, yeah. For a random reason I don't fully understand myself, I wrote a Pokémon story- the one thing I thought I'd never do here. But I did. So if you like Pokémon, I suggest you check it out. It's called "And that's why" and deals with Pika and Ash and the whole "Rocket captures Pika" thing.  
You got that right. That was an order._

* * *

_Tell someone as often as possible that you love them.  
Because there will come the day when it is too late._

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 7: The Unconvincing Turtle Titan

* * *

**There was a blinding flash of light, and then the Lair was gone.

And when he comes to his senses again, and the stars stop dancing in front of his eyes, he sits in an alley between high brick houses and the sun is shining on his head.

Oh, he knows what happened. He knows it all too well. He is familiar with this place, and familiar with the problem at hand. He even knows where to go to find shelter, and something to eat. It's not too bad.

Doesn't mean he has to like it.

Still, as Michelangelo Hamato looks up at the bright summer sun and then down at his orange-green Turtle Titan costume, he thinks that the Ultimate Ninja probably doesn't care about it. And so, even though with a sigh, he hurries down the wide streets to get to May's Mansion before anyone sees him in that mascerade.****

He just hopes his bothers are already there.**  
_ _ _ _ _**

"Hey, listen up now." Tobias' voice cuts through the talking of what feels like hundreds of people, and the conversations quieten down as everyone looks at him. It is really just Charine, Nikolai, Emily, Phillip, Lucie, Johanna and two of Jojo's friends, two girls named Nina and Sharon. Not too many. The living room is not even halfway filled. Still, I think it is amazing how Tobi gets them all to listen to him at once. I can't do that.

"We have four teams- Charine with Nikolai, Sharon and Nina are team one. Emily, Phillip and Lucie form team two. Johanna, you stay with Liza and me here, we're team three. Any objections?"

"I want our team to be called 'Team Gold'", Phillip says and grins widely. Emily supresses a giggle, and Tobias smiles, but I can't help the feeling that they don't take the task at hand seriously enough. I look across the room at Leo. The blue-haired boy sits on the sofa, arms crossed and legs wide apart. He seems dissatisfied with the whole thing, but I know it's for a different reason. I can't believe he actually _forgot _about his family. I'm sure one, two more days will help him get over it. After all, he remembered me too after a short nap, right?

"This is so creepy." Johanna grins widely, betraying what she just said. "You totally remind me of this guy from that TV show Liza likes. He's called Leonardo too and he has a blue mask. Are you a fan or something?"

I can't believe what I just heard. "You know that TV show? I thought you all didn't know what I was talking about!"

Johanna smiles along. "I didn't. But you mentioned it a week ago or so. And when I got home, I googled it. Easy as that." She seems very pleased with herself, and I am stunned. Tobias just laughs about my face. "You seem to be as surprised as I am."

Leo doesn't say anything. He got really quite when the guys all came in. And ever since, he hardly talked at all. I think he doesn't understand why he is still here and not "out there having fun", as he suggested half an hour or so ago.

I turn back my gaze at the laptop screen in front of me. Like in the good old days, I actually have a TMNT episode guide on wikipedia on the screen. I scroll through the episodes in search for "The Bug Brawl". There it is, near the beginning, actually. Then I scroll down the page, looking for the SAINW episodes, as fflers call them sometimes. My eyes narrow when I can't find them in the first season. The 'turtles in space' episodes appear on the list, and I frown. That can't be right. It's totally not in the correct order. Leo has been here only a few weeks ago, and back then they had still been in season one somewhere near the Big Brawl.

"Leo, do you know anyone called 'Professor Honeycut'?" I ask over my shoulder. Tobias' head snaps up at that name. He probably thinks the same I do. _That can't be right. There hasn't been enough time in between, considering their timeline is parallel to ours._

Sure enough, Leonardo shakes his head no. "Never heard of that. What kind of name is that, anyway?"

I don't answer. Instead, I look at the screen in front of me again. Then I reach for a blank sheet of paper and a thick pen.

**TIMELINE DISTURBED?**

I write down. Then I go back to my research. We all jump when the phone rings. "Can you answer it?" I ask Johanna. It'll be one of the teams; there is no need for anyone else to call me here. But a glance at the living room clock tells me that they've been gone for only half an hour or so. They can't possibly have found anything already, now can they?

Johanna picks up the phone. "May's Mansion, my name is Johanna Schmieder, how can I help you?", she asks into the phone. We all have to smile at her perfect imitation of a secretary. "Yeah, it's me, stupid", she chuckles a few seconds later. So it is one of the teams. We asked them to contact us as soon as they find anything.

"Liza, Phillip asks if all of Leo's brothers are totally nuts like this one", Johanna calls out to me. I frown at that. "I guess they are, but who is 'this one'?"

She repeats my words and then the answer. "He says there's some guy who claims to be Michelangelo. He has bright orange hair and looks like his brother, kind of. But he wears nothing but a weird green-and-orange superhero costume. Should they get him here?"

I exchange looks with Tobias. I for my part am totally confused, but he seems to know something I don't. "It's Mikey. Get him here as soon as possible", he tells Johanna who gets back to the phone. "Got it? All right. See you in a few." She puts the phone down and looks at me. "Anyone cares to tell me what is going on?"

"The costume", Tobias says and shakes his head in confusion. "Now I see that you're right, Liza. Something is definitely not right there." We all look at him in the need of some explaining, so he points it out. "It's the Turtle Titan costume, girl. Think. It has to be." Well, of course that only makes it easier for me, not for the others. But I fear it'll have to be enough. Because in this very moment, the doorbell rings.

"Tobi, you still know where my room is, right? Get something to wear, if you find it. Leo, you come with me. There is something you should meet."


	9. The Meaning of Suffering, Part One

_A/N: Uh, what can I say? Sorry for the long wait. I have a job now and it's classtest time and... ah, you're right. I was lazy. SORRY! Here we go...  
Oh, and ... did I really write that Leo should meet "some**thing**"? Mikey, I am so sorry! I can't fix it because the document is not in my doc manager anymore so... *gulps* on with the show!  
One more thing. We'll get to know more about Splinter's whereabouts, Raph's situation, and at May's Mansion new plans are made. (By the way, for those of you who don't remember: May is Liza's family name.) Splinter is not too well. Mikey won't be, soon... Nothing too bad, either, but you have been warned.  


* * *

_

_When we are afraid we ought not to occupy ourselves with endeavoring to prove that there is no danger,  
but in strenghtening ourselves to go on in spite of the danger.  
[Mark Rutherford]_

* * *

**Chapter 8: The Meaning Of Suffering - Part One  


* * *

**

With a _thud, _the heavy steal door closes once again, taking the little light with it. All that is left in the blackness of the room is the echo of laughter- laughter so bitter and full of hatred that Splinter's fur stands on edge.

"My sons", he whispers and the thought of them is like a stab right into his heart. "What is happening to you?"

His question is answered with only silence. The ninjitsu master is not afraid of the dark, and perfectly able to fight blindfolded if he has to, but this is different. It is not just dark, it is pitch black. It seems to him that the color is pressing in on him from all sides, trying to suffocate him. It deafens him, plays tricks on his panicking mind and reveals nothing about his surroundings. Additionally, the icy cold creeps into his bones and slows him down.

Somewhere in the distance, water is dripping. Thirst flares up in his throat like a fire. Almost on instinct, Splinter tenses up and tries to move. But the shackles that bind his hands and feet are too strong, and the cold metal doesn't do any good to his sore body. He quickly gives up on his attempts, for he is sure that in the darkness, Draco is watching, and he won't give the evil dragon the satisfaction to see him suffer.

Soon his body goes limp as his mind wanders over to the spiritual plane. He tries to reach out to his sons, but the connection is distant and often broken. Disturbingly enough, the only one who doesn't respond at all is Leonardo, even though Splinter can feel his oldest son's lifelight in the distance.

The Sensei remembers the pictures Draco showed him- his sons, alone, battered and broken. Porribly dead. Dangers of various kinds are around them. Splinter believes that at least part of it is a lie, but how can he know? How can he possibly be sure? Still, he can't find a way to escape from this dungeon.

He hates to admit it, but for now, all he can do is wait.

~* t ~* m ~* n ~* t ~*

The giant snake-like beast opens its wide mouth and shows them rows and rows of needle-thin, poisoned teeth. Then it lets out a cry that makes the tunnel walls shake and the ground beneath their feet burst up.

"Okay?" Raphael's startled face behind the red helmet goes quite pale. Despite his cocky attitude, he knows a life-and-dead situation when it bites him (literally, in this case). He starts to look around hastily. "Think fast, think fast...", he mutters to himself while the beast comes closer. "Where is da trap door when ya need it?"

The beast slashes his enourmous head against the walls and the ground, and the gap between the turtle's feet opens wider. Melt water starts to flow down into the lower level of the cave, and Raphael gets an idea.

"Well, here goes nothing!" he shouts and draws his sai. Then he shlashes at the icy floor around the gap, drawing a circle around the cycle. "Get on!" he shouts, and his team partner does not hesitate, even though he whispers a prayer as the beast cries again, ready to swallow them whole...

Raphael hits the ground one last time, and it breaks right through, sending them down into the next lower level. The bike lands on its wheels, and the turtle sends them spinning into overdrive. The tunnel worm's angry cry can be heard from far, but this time at least, they got away safely.

That is, until his whole form starts to flicker and fade. A strange feeling rises up in his chest, like a mix of homesickness and longing, paired with an irrevitable fear of the unknown. Raphael feels dizzy, and for a second his hands slip right through the handlebars. Then it is over as soon as it came.

"Whoa", he mutters and blinks violently. "What was _dat?_"

~* L ~* i ~* z ~* a ~*

"Mikey."

This is definitely not a situation I ever pictured myself in. Ever. Not even after the guys were here the first time.

Well, I guess in life you never know.

Standing in the entry hall is Michelangelo. In human form, of course, since in this dimension the TMNT are not real and thus they can't have their normal bodies. He has his nunchucks with him this time, and for some strange reason he wears his turtle titan costume. Let me tell you one thing: In his turtle form, an orange- and- green G-string like outfit with a bold 'T' in the front is kind of cool. In his human form?

Well, let's just say I quickly looked away.

"Uh, hi, Liza", he says sheepishly. "How have you been, dudette?" Then his gaze falls on something behind me, and his blue eyes go wide. No, not _something_, I realize; some_one_ is the correct term.

"Leo! Dude, I was, like, _so _worried about you! Man, where've _you _been? 'Cause _I _have been in this strange dimension where we all were super heroes! But your mask was, like, purple and it was, like, _so _scary because Sensei..."

He tries to embrace his long-lost brother in a big hug, but Leo quickly steps aside and Mikey runs right past him. His voice trails off as the redhead turns in confusion. "Leo? Dude, what's wrong?"

_No, Leo. Don't say it. Please, for all it's worth, don't ask him..._

"Who a_re _you?" Leo says, and from his voice you can tell he means it. It is only then that I fully realize how deep and how wicked Ue's plan really is. Only when I see the sudden hurt in his face I really see the meaning behind all this. I understand now why he chose Leonardo as his puppet instead of trying to fight him.

Because the only way to really, truly defeat the clan lies not in killing the leader, but in letting him stay alive and leave the family right in front of their eyes. Leo is the strongest fighter, the best one at meditation, the one with the strongest sense of honor, etc etc etc. But he is also the big brother for all of them. The one who tells them good night. The one who watches over them.

Now he is gone.

And Mikey can tell.

"Leo?", he whispers, but his older brother just backs away further, confused and angry. "Who _are _you?", he demands to know once again, and Mikey's face falls. He steps backwards too and blinks violently. I can tell he wants answers, and I really want to give him answers, believe me. But I don't know much more than he does. I realize now that I thought as soon as he sees them again, he will remember them at once. The fact that it is not like this makes me speechless.

Tobias comes running down the stairs. "Mike", he says and hands him some clothes. Michelangelo takes them without looking away from his brother's face. "Thanks", he whispers. "I'll change then." His voice is full of tears, and I can see his lower lip quiver when he finally tears his eyes from the black ones he thought he knew. He walks right past me and into the bathroom. The door closes with the softest _thud._

A nameless fury flares up right in my chest. I can't describe it. All I know that I have never, ever been this angry in all my life. I fight down the urge to just smash something, to yell at everyone around or to storm off. It takes all I've got to form the white fire inside me into a tight ball and store it. Now is not the time for anger.

But if I ever am to meet Ue in person, he will pay for this.


	10. The Meaning Of Suffering, Part Two

_Guess what. I moved in with a friend for a while. Don't worry, it's just for fun, but I don't have internet here. 5 days without internet already! I want to read Mikell's story! *cries and throws pillow against wall* … Uh, anyway. On with the… fun? ;-) This time, Liza and Tobi will have some kind of serious talk. *coughs*  


* * *

_

_Just gonna stand there  
And watch me burn?  
But that's all right,  
Because I like the way it hurts  
[Rihanna- Love the way you lie]

* * *

_

**Chapter 9: The Meaning Of Suffering- Part Two

* * *

**

"I think we have a problem here, Liza."

Tobias' voice is a quiet murmur, barely audible in the big living room. It seems adequate to whisper though. The tension in the air is thick enough to be cut with a knife, and it doesn't change a thing that the two boys are not in the room anymore. Johanna and the others went home long ago (even though now without a worried glance back), but the redhead chose to stay a while longer. It is now around eight in the evening, and the boys are supposed to have called it an early night.

"Guess what", the girl answers. She sits on the sofa in front of the magnet board with the post-its. Her shoulders are slumped, and her face shows how miserably she feels. "I figured that much."

Tobias is insistent. "I don't know if you get my point." He stands up from the chair he sits in and walks over to sit down beside her. "I'm not talking about the Leo-incident."

She looks up, and for a second the well-known smile creeps into the corners of her mouth. It has an unnaturally bitter touch to it, though. "If there's more, why don't we just go and shoot ourselves?", she whispers.

He reaches out and ruffles her reddish-blonde hair. "Don't give up, girl. It's going to be perfectly fine. Believe it."

She laughs, an honest giggle this time, and finally meets his eyes. "Okay, go on. I'm listening. What's the _real _deal then?" She narrows her eyes just a bit and guesses. "It's because two of them are still missing, right?"

The red-head shakes his head. "Count Splinter in, and we have three out there. But they are not missing. We know perfectly well where they are, remember? And exactly that is the problem."

She frowns, deep in thoughts. "I don't remember everything", she finally admits. "I only know that I loved the episode with Leo in Usagi's world, and I hated Donnie's…"

Her voice trails off when she finally sees where he's getting at. "Same as it never was", she whispers, and memories come rushing in on here. Memories of the only episode of TMNT that she actually didn't like; that she actually _wanted _to forget. Except maybe the mutagen incident- again, Donnie had been in trouble…

"Oh no. No no no."

She had never paid much thought to the episodes before, not even after the met the guys the first time. But now it occurs to her that maybe, just maybe the famous adventures she witnesses safely in front of her PC are not that great when you actually _experience _them firsthand.

"What can we do?", she asks feverishly. "We can't really just sit here and let that happen, right?" She looks around as if she thinks the solution will just appear out of thin air. Which is not entirely unlikely, after all, since a lot of things happened to appear out of thin air lately. Or humans, for that matter.

But nothing happens.

"I don't _know _what we can do, Liza", Tobias sighs and rubs his temples. "I am at a total loss. It just doesn't make _sense. _This is totally different from the episodes. I just don't _get _it." He massages the bridge of his nose and frowns, deep in thoughts now.

"First of all, Leo appears here and doesn't remember the family he swore to protect." He stretches out his thumb to emphasize the fact that this is only point one of the list. Without a word, Liza walks over to the table and grabs a white sheet of paper.

"But we have a solution for part of that", Tobias says. He looks at her, but it is clear that he really sees something else. "It is Ue, or the Ultimate Draco to be exact. He made him forget his family to weaken them." Liza writes that down, too.

"What I don't understand is why he came here instead of Usagi's world", she slowly says, "and why he _does _remember _us_. That's strange. I mean, his family was here as well. Shell, even April was here."

Tobias nods. "True. Maybe Draco just sent him to the dimension the furthest away he could find. Maybe Leo's mind … _did _something to the whole process. Who knows?"

Liza nods as well. "Yeah, could be. And maybe Leo remembers us because Draco doesn't know about us."

"Makes sense." But Tobias is not finished yet. He stretches out his pointing finger. "Second point. Mikey appears as well. But _he _has been in the dimension we know- the superhero- villain- dimension. Before he came here. Which is not the way we know it." Suddenly his hands sink down onto the sofa. "Argh, I don't know!" he shouts, suddenly frustrated. "It just doesn't - make- _sense!_"

"Not the way we know it", Liza repeats, absorbed in her own ideas. "But that's not right." She holds up her hand before Tobias can interrupt her. "Wait. Listen. Normally, Leo'd call them and they'd fight Draco together. Right? He uses the war staff and the time scepter and calls them. And thus, they come back." She scribbles something down before she goes on talking. "But Leo doesn't _have _the scepter. He doesn't even _remember _the scepter. I mean, he didn't even meet this strange girl who has it yet, according to the timeline we know."

There is silence for a moment. Then Tobias says, "Who calls them, then?" at the same time Liza whispers, "The timeline?"

They share a look in stunned silence. Then Tobias jumps to his feet and comes over to the table. He grabs a sheet of paper as well as a pen and starts to write something down as well.

They share quite some time in companionable silence, writing and occasionally muttering to themselves and each other.

Behind the wooden door that leads to the hallway, Michelangelo Hamato wipes the tears off his face and makes his way back to the room Liza showed him without a noise. Two images spook through his confused mind, again and again, mixing together into one painful package. The first is the face of Leo just a few hours ago, empty and afraid of him.

The second is the distorted face of a person he used to call "father", seconds before a blinding light rips him apart and all that's left is one horrible scream, piercing his heart like a thousand needles.

And for the first night in month, he cries in his sleep.


	11. The Meaning of Suffering, Part Three

_It's time to see what Donnie's doing. At least a bit. And to give you some hints about what exactly happened.  
I'm back home now. Internet! I missed you! *Kisses Laptop* A-anyway, uh.. on with the show?  
Before I forget, Mikell finished her latest installment. The Halloween- "Oneshot" Dark Chocolate is now complete. I suggest you check it out, because her work is epic. :3 E-P-I-C.

* * *

_

_Everything that can go wrong WILL go wrong._  
_Whenever different things can go wrong, the one causing the most damage will happen._  
[Murphy's Law]

_In the end it's all good.  
When it's not good, it's not yet the end._

_

* * *

_**Chapter 9: The Meaning Of Suffering - Part 3

* * *

**"Someone quick! Grab the-"

_Grab the time cepter, _he had wanted to say. But he suddenly found his face frozen in mid-sentence. So was his body; afloat in mid-air, held up only by the blue light of the cepter in the Ultimate Draco's claws. He struggled wildly, and his mind went through calculations on highest speed. But he found it was impossible to roll so much as his eyes.

From the corners of his vision, he could only just see Mikey's mask tails, frozen in motion just like the rest of them was. To his right side, the steel of Leo's katana reflected the light- it was the only hint that showed that the planet's time did not just entirely stop. It was just the five of them, defenseless and without a way to escape.

Ue - as the genius chose to call him for the time being, since that was easier for his overloaded brain- laughed. The cold, harsh tones was reflected by the domed ceiling, and Donatello was sure that if he had hair, it would now stand on edge. "Now we will have our revengeance", Ue hissed, and the ugly rasp in his voice made the purple-banded turtle shudder on the inside.

The monster's glare wandered over Michelangelo and Donatello to rest on their oldest brother. _Leo. _Again, Donnie struggled to move but couldn't. But he couldn't, he _wouldn't _let that insane maniac hurt his brother. He would _not. _He had been forced to stay put and watch them battle once. It would not happen a second time.

"Leonardo", Ue's mouth hissed. The snake-like head came forward, closer to Leo's, and suddenly Donnie found himself wishing _he _would carry the blades, to slice that _thing _in halves and finish it once and for all. "Destroy him first", Ue continued, totally oblivious of anything but his hated enemy. At the same time, Donatello could feel his fingers again. He twitched, struggled desperately to regain control over his movements while the monster was otherwise occupied...

"No", the deeper rasp of Draco's head said, and the blue light closed around the turtle's body again, positively freezing him. Ue's body squirmed as Draco moved to look at Splinter, and for a second Donnie felt as if his blood were _really _freezing. _No. Not Sensei. _"We agreed", the dragon's head continued. "The rat first. Then the Daimio, your father."

Even through the red mask-like features Ue's face now sported, Donatello could see the supressed hatred in his eyes. "Then Leonardo", he whispered, and his head finally moved away from Leo's. His brother breathed an inward breath of relief. But it was too early to relax.

"They will all pay", the two heads said in unison. The time cepter glared with an icy blue light, and suddenly his brothers' forms blurred and disappeared. "All of them!" Two ugly claw-like hands rised the blue staff higher, higher into the air.

"They will learn_ the meaning of suffering!"_

_Please, do as you must, _Donnie thought. _Do with me as you wish... But don't hurt my brothers. I couldn't stand if anything happened to them._

Then everything went white, and he passed out._

* * *

_"Good morning", Leonardo says as he sits down at the living room table. It is a beautiful sunday morning. The sun has risen hours ago, and the blue-haired boy with it, driven by the strange feeling to miss something, even though he couldn't say what exactly that was. He spent the time reading some of the books in Liza's father's room. And when he came down, the air was filled with the delicious aroma of french toast.

He tries to ignore the fact that both Liza and Tobias have dark circles under their eyes, and that the magnet board on the far side of the room is overflowing with post-its and diagrams. He knows that it is all about him. About his _problem. _To be honest, he doesn't like it. He isn't even sure he understands what his problem _is _exactly. Liza said that he suffers from amnesia, but he remembers her perfectly well. All he doesn't remember is this other red-head that comes in just now, carrying a plate with french toast.

The redhead's face- _Michelangelo's _face, as he reminds himself- spreads into a smile as he puts down the plate and sits down next to Liza. But for some reason, Leonardo can tell that it's a forced smile, used to reassure the others that everything is okay when it's really not. It seems to work on the kids, though.

"Anyone wants French Toast?" the boy with the bright orange hair asks and looks around. They all answer his smile automatically, but Leo can't help but wonder why they don't see what he sees. Why they don't realize that the usual spark is missing in those baby blue eyes. _He _can tell, that much he knows. He recalls just too well the times when Mikey made a-

_Hold it right there. _Leo shakes his head, suddenly feeling dizzy. _What was that just now? _An image appears before his inner eye, but before he can have a closer look at it, it is gone.

"You want one too, Leonardo?" Michelangelo asks. Leo is surprised how much it _hurts _to be adressed with his full name. "Sure", he answers lightly and holds out his plate, but his mind is racing. _Who _is _this..._

The doorbell rings._

* * *

_

"Wait."

Draco's voice cuts through the brilliantly white light surrounding them like a knife. It disappears at once. All that's left is the last beams reflected by Leo's katana stinging into his eye. But Donnie doesn't mind. As long as he can see them, he knows that they are safe. For now.

"What is it?" The irritation in Ue's voice is clearly to hear. But Draco ignores him.

"Don't you feel it?" he whispers, and suddenly a shudder comes over Donatello, so violent that it gives him goosebumbs right through the nervecosting freeze of the scepter's power. He watches in stunned silence as the Ultimate Draco's whole form quivers and squirms. His surprise turns into horror as the merged monster in front of him _melts _for a second, almost dividing, but not quite...

Then it is over, and the creature is it's own ugly self again.

"Yes", Ue hisses, and now he really sounds like a snake. "I see..." He closes his eyes as if to recollect his thoughts. "A small modification of our plan is necessary, I suppose", he whispers.

With one swift movement of the scepter, the white light swallows the Hamato clan whole, gripping them with iron teeth and carries them through time and space. Apart, apart they drift, and Donatello can _feel _their spirits leave, can almost _hear _the connection between them shatter.

Then he faints, and darkness replaces the light.

* * *

When the doorbell rings, Leo's head snaps up as if he was bitten by something.

I can't exactly say I like what's going on here. I have to admit, I still hoped that a good night's sleep would help Leo remember his family, just like his afternoon sleep helped remembering _me. _But it seems I was wrong.

With a sigh, I push back my chair and stand up. The french toast on my plate is delicious- the stories are not kidding about Mikey's cooking- but I don't really feel like eating anyways. "Be right back" I announce and leave Tobias to deal with things for a while.

I make my way through the hallway and into the entry hall slowly. I need some time to think, but my sleep-deprived brain has other plans and keeps drawing circles. The doorbell rings again, impatiently, and shakes me out of my thoughts. With yet another sigh, I finally open the front door.

"Raphael", I say, not particularly surprised. I have to admit that I expected the next one of them to appear soon. "Come on in."

The second-in-age of the four brothers wears a red leather outfit matching his hair color. It seems just a bit too tight, making his steps awkwardly clumsy. He ruffles his hair and grins at me sheepishly. "Yo, Liz. Everythin' all right?"

"Not really." I am too tired to make polite conversation now. "We have some problems here. Leo and Mike are already eating french toast in the living room, so why don't you just come in and..."

He is already past me, making his way to the living room, and I follow him. _Sigh_. Why don't they ever listen?

"Raph, Leo has amnesia. He doesn't remember you." Raphael ignores me; if something, he only gets faster. _Sigh. _"Well, go ahead. Maybe you can beat some sense into him." _Sigh._

Sometimes I feel like sleeping all day long in blissful ignorance of the world is the only way to survive this life.

Right now is a time like that.


	12. Hope

_Umm... Sorry? *Tries Sweet Smile* I finished the Casket Story that, well, kept me occupied... Umm... And now I'm back... Hehe.. Uh, anyways..?  


* * *

_

_"Just remember-  
There is _**always** _hope."  
[April - SAINW]

* * *

_**Chapter 12: Hope

* * *

**Another one of them.

That's what he thinks when the newcomer enters the room. Another redhead. Another boy. Another stranger that everyone thinks he should know. Just that he doesn't.

Suddenly he feels very much like leaving the room and locking himself in somewhere. Anywhere, really. This whole day is grating on his nerves. But it feels rude to just go without a real reason for it, and he knows that Liza will be worried and sad if he does. And so he stays and waits for the inevitable when the foreign boy's gaze sweeps over him. Golden eyes. That's strange for a human being, he guesses. It doesn't seem strange to him for a reason. He looks away.

The boy walks straight past him, without so much as a sideway glance. Straight at Michelangelo. "Mike. You okay?"

And the youngest smiles his crooked smile that is not entirely fake, but neither entirely real, and nods. "Better now."

Leo can tell that this new boy knows Mikey is lying. For a strange reason, it calms him down. He isn't the only one who has to deal with this mess now. There are others who are just as eager to get everything back to normal again. He snorts. _Whatever that may be. _

Then the stranger turns to look at him, and the bad feeling Leo had before is back in his guts, crawling under his skin, making him uneasy. These golden eyes... Humans don't have these eyes. But he isn't afraid or taken aback by them. There is something else, deeper. They stare at each other for seconds that seem to stretch out into hours. Not saying a word. Golden eyes. Someone he should know. Something he should remember... For the first time since he arrived here, Leo wishes he could. _Remember. Remember..._

His head starts throbbing, but he resists the urge to rub his temples, captured by these eyes, by that face. He knows that face. His headache increases, but now he wants more than this faint feeling of recognition. He wants to know what happened. _I want my memory back. _

The silence is broken, the tension shattered. The redhead holds out his hand, cracking a smile that is honest and that Leo finds worse than the faked laughs Michelangelo has been producing all morning now. "Hey." Waiting. "My name's Raphael."

"Yeah," Leo says and blinks. "I know."

A sudden pain in the back of his skull, and the world goes black.

***L*I*Z*A***

"Yeah" Leo says and blinks. "I know."

Sudden hope is flaring up in my chest, enough to stop my hand that's holding a fork with french toast in mid-air. Frozen. "I know." And then, without a warning, Leo's face is twisted with pain, contorted, and he faints where he stands. Just like that.

I remember dropping my plate when we all run forwards to catch him, even though Raphael has long since gotten him at the waist and is holding him upright. The blue-haired boy's eyes are closed, but he is breathing heavilly and his fingers are twitching. Cramping. Then Mikey gets hold of his oldest brother's legs, Raph has him at the shoulders, and together they carry him the last steps to the carpet and put him down. Not on the sofa, because down on the ground they can get a better look at him.

"I need medical supplies!" Mikey says. "Whatever you've got is fine, anything..."

I need a few seconds to realize he's talking to me. My eyes have been on Leo's face all this time. Is it wrong to think that he looks beautiful, even now, flat on the ground with his hair sprawled around him like a blue halo and with sweat on his forehead? Is it wrong to compare him to an angel when he is groaning in pain? "_Liza_," Mikey repeats, his voice more urgent. This time I turn and make a dash for the kitchen.

I know where the first-aid-kit is. Ever since they've been here for the first time I know where a lot of stuff is that I've never needed before. I made sure I find it in case I need it some day. Things I never thought before. Worries I never had. The way it is, I find the white box with the red cross right where I left it in the cupboard and run back. My thin socks are slipping on the stone floor in the hallway, but I use the momentum to carry me forwards. Half-falling through the door, I come back to the living room about a minute after I left.

One minute too long.

Leo is gripping at the carpet now, obviously an inctinct reaction to the pain. His eyes are still closed, and his forehead is thrown into a heavy frown and tight muscles. The sweat glues his hair to his head. No noise is coming from him, even though I think he should be screaming from the way he looks. Even as I watch, a tremor runs through him, causing him to bend his back and to jolt upright. Raph is fighting now to keep him down while Mikey hurries to meet me and get the supplies.

I hand it over to him without looking before I slowly walk over to the table and fall into a chair. Tobias is sitting next to me, but we don't bother to look at each other. There's nothing more important now than the boy with the blue hair that looks as if he were in his death spasms.

With nervous hands that seem strangely clumsy to me, Mikey manages to fiddle a round white pill out of its wrapping and throws it into a glass of water. I watch, strangely disconnected to what's happening around me, as it fizzles and shrinks until it is gone and the water is white. It is only when Raph forces Leo's head up and his mouth open to drink it that I get what exactly they are doing. I almost laugh. Because it's so sad I almost laugh.

I can't believe that with everything that's going on all they've got is a headache tablet.

Mikey looks at me then, as if he knows what I'm thinking. The desperation in his eyes is ready to break my heart in two. I try to smile reassuringly, but I can see in his face that I fail. What can I do? What few things I know about medical aid is what I learned from the first-aid course that was required for my driver's license.

"I wish Donnie were here" Mikey whispers.

I'm not even surprised when the doorbell rings again.

***T*M*N*T***

His hands are shaking when he reaches out to ring the bell. He shrinks back for a second, closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. It's no use. It doesn't help one bit against the pictures, the images that haunt him. If anything, the short second he took to think make it worse.

Quickly, he presses the small button before he can think better of it.

How did he get here? What just happened? Why did it happen? He is shaking again, unable to control it, unable to stop. _Pull yourself together. They are all right. You know they are... Pull yourself together._

Only after a whole minute he realizes that the door is still closed.

Suddenly, panic flares through him, causing cold sweat to break on his forehead. Why don't they open the door? But maybe he didn't ring after all. Maybe he just imagined it. Maybe he's losing it. He laughs, a cold and harsh sound that hurts his own ears. When he pushes the button again, harder, he makes sure he really _feels _the metal under his hands. Maybe Liza isn't home. And if she is? What will he do then? He doesn't know. The first time in his life that he feels he really _needs _to _think _and he can't.

The world is falling apart with every second that he stands outside, in the sun, wearing nothing but an old and faded trenchcoat. How awkward. A breeze ruffles his hair, and suddenly he is ready to rip it out, to claw at the ground for a hole to open, to _please _swallow him and make him _forget. _His brothers are dead. The worst has happened. Four became one.

Mikey opens the door.

Don starts crying.


	13. Truth

_Yeah! Chap 13 fresh from the oven! Good thing I'm notsuperstitious...  
Thanks to all of you who are still there and reviewing! That means a lot to me! And yes, I have them OOC for a reason, especially Raph. ;)  


* * *

_

_"If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep."_

* * *

**Chapter 13: Truth

* * *

**Someone is crying.

I'm afraid it might be me. But when I lift my hands to touch my cheeks, they are dry. Who is crying? I turn my head only half-heartedly, not wanting to leave the grain of the table's wood. Afraid what I might see. Tobias is sitting in front of me, tense but not crying. Not him. I move my head more, looking at Leo... And looking away again, because I've already seen more than I wanted. But no, Leo is not crying. Neither is Raph who is sitting next to his brother, restraining his hands firm but still gentle.

Where is Mikey?

That brings my attention back to the present. Where is the youngest? I haven't heard him leave. I look around, worried and insecure. I don't like them being out of my sight. In every other situation, I would laugh about myself for that. Like something terrible is happening to them every time I'm not there. How stupid, since the worst of all happens right now, and right in front of my eyes.

The crying grows louder, and I see Tobias turning his head towards the source of it. What is the source of it? It takes me a second to lokalize it being behind me, and another to finally get my body to turn.

Someone is crying, and I've been afraid it might be me. I've been relieved to see that this time, it's not my fault; not my mascara running down my face; not my expression twisted into something ugly and alien.

Then Mikey steps into the living room. Mikey, who answered the door, because I was too shocked by what's happening to react. Mikey who is half-carrying his older brother, Don. Who looks awkward, because he is patting Donnie's back, hugging him and walking at the same time. Don, who's crying his heart out and breaking mine with it.

I don't ask what's wrong. Neither does Tobias. Because we know exactly what happened, what gentle quiet Donatello has been through the last few days, or maybe just hours. And suddenly I feel very, very selfish. How can I still be thinking about me in a situation like this? _I've been brought up that way,_ my mind says to defend itself. _I can't help it_. I don't care. Raph's scared. Mikey's acting. Leo's dying. And Donnie's crying.

Suddenly I wish it were_ my _tears, rolling down _my _face because they don't write back. I wish they weren't here. I wish they were home, playing video games, laughing about that silly girl that keeps sending them letters... Anything. But not this.

Someone is crying.

Or maybe everyone is.

***S*P*L*I*N*T*E*R***

The room is dark and damp and smells like old sweat and dirt.

Splinter is hanging limply from the metal straps that chain him to the cold stone walls. He has stopped fighting them. When has that been? Weeks ago, it seems to him, but that's impossible. Days, maybe. Hours. Or maybe only seconds. Time has no meaning in this dark place where nothing exists but the old ninja and his deepest fears.

He almost wishes for Ue to come down here. Not for the benefit of being tortured, that's not it. But to know that he is still thought of. That he is not just left down here, forgotten, to rot and die.

He hasn't had anything to eat or drink in a long time. Normally, he could live with that. But the strain in his shoulders, the constant darkness, and the dripping of water nearby make it hard for him to just block out his surroundings. How ironic that he might actually die in this hole, die of thirst with water nearby, alone and lost in the dungeons of whatever place this is when he has lived his whole life in the sewers of a metropolis.

Splinter is afraid. No, he is beyond that. He is terrified.

He isn't worried about his own health. He's far beyond that now. All that matters to him is the one question that's spinning in his head, the one thing he's asked himself over and over again.

_Where are my sons? _

The children. _His _children. Where are they? Have they been treated similarly? Or- he closes his eyes, not even wanting to think about it - worse?

A single tear escapes his eyes. He only knows because it is wet and salty on his dry lips. When will he get out of here? When will he see his sons again? When will this end? Because even as he asks himself these questions, he can't help the others that come to his mind. Can't help the despair that's dwelling up behind his eyelids like tears. Can't help wondering...

_Will _he get out of here? _Will _he see his sons again? _Will _this end?

The room is dark and damp and smells like old sweat and dirt.

Silence is his only answer.

***T*M*N*T***

"Don."

Raphael's tone is gentle. Almost coaxing, Liza thinks not without wonder. She has never expected anything like this from the turtle that's known as the hothead. The redhead is still trying to calm down his older brother Leonardo who is now trashing wildly and whimpering ever so often. And at the same time trying to calm down his immediate younger brother who is still crying, seemingly unable to do anything but cling to Mikey and wail.

Donatello doesn't show any reaction to Raph's voice. If anything, his shoulders slump some more, but that is about it. Mikey gives Raph a helpless look. Neither of them knows what to do.

"Donatello."

He used the full-name-card, more firm now. And it works. Donnie looks up at him, eyes swollen and red, nose running, but at least he's listening now. For the first time, or so it seems, he realizes where he is. His deep brown eyes wander over Tobias who waves half-heartedly, to Liza who gives him a crooked smile, and finally to Raphael. And to Leo.

"What the shell!"

Seemingly the sight of his oldest brother in pain is about all he needs to snap out of it. He is in action in the split of a second, getting out of Mikey's embrace almost impatiently. In this moment Liza envies him. Because after all he has just been through, he is still right there when someone needs him. Not thinking of himself. Or maybe he is, but he puts his own needs last.

"What's wrong with him? Liza, I need a flashlight."

He has his mind everywhere at once. Liza takes off again, to find the flashlight in the closet under the staircase. Donatello is already sitting next to Raph, checking Leo's pulse, checking the breathing. Raphael only shakes his head as an answer. "I don't know. I've only just arrived myself."

Don shoots him a sceptical look, aiming at the skin-tight red leather suit and the helmet. "Yeah. I can see that. Had fun?" He didn't mean it to sound sarcastic, but when it happened, he doesn't very much care. Raph doesn't either. They are all wound up right now. Instead, he points at the old and faded coat his immediate younger brother is wearing. "And you?"

Donnie's face falls, but he tries to hide it by lifting Leo's shirt. Checking for marks. "Have had better days." He strokes Leo's hair absently before he looks up and smiles softly. "Have had worse."

"I'll go get some clothes," Tobias whispers and stands up. They haven't even noticed he's still there so far, but now Don gives him a grateful smile. "That'd be very much appreciated, thanks."

The boy takes off with reddened cheeks, because he doesn't feel he deserves the gratitude. All he wants is to get away from the scene before he bursts into tears.

Liza comes back with a flashlight and passes him by. They exchange a quick glance, and Tobias is almost thankful to see in her expression the same feelings he has. And it gives him new strength. They are all in this together now, and no one will back out. Then they have passed, and Liza practically throws the flashlight into Donatello's hands who proceeds his examination by shining it into Leo's eyes.

Tobias runs up the stairs and almost flies down the hallway to find Liza's dad's room. He is sure neither of the two will mind. At the same time, he is dialing Michael's number on his cellphone. He has a feeling they will need all the help they can get.

***S*P*L*I*N*T*E*R***

He is pulling at the straps with more force, more energy now. They won't give, but neither will he. He refuses to just give up like that. After all, he is a master of ninjutsu. He can break bricks with his head. He won the Battle Nexus Tournament with a splintered leg, and he got his name from that day. Splinter. That is his name. He is someone. Someone who never gives up.

He will get out of here.

The metal scraps over the raw skin of his wrists and makes him flinch. His tail is twitching nervously, drawing deep lines into the dust on the ground his feet do not touch. The darkness is grating on his nerves. He doesn't stop.

And suddenly there is light.

Blue and white flames appear seemingly out of nowhere and start to fill the room. Immediately Splinter closes his eyes and looks away, blinded and nervous. Fear speeds up his heart, causing the blood to rush in his ears. Blue flames. Where has he seen this energy before?

"Hamato Splinter," a woman's voice says. It is gentle and friendly, but still firm. Splinter can hear the power behind this voice. He does not open his eyes. But he isn't afraid.

Fingertips brush against the surface of his coat, soft and carressing. The blue flames start to dance around him now, wrapping him into their warm embrace. He keeps his eyes closed. But he smiles.

"You are needed." He knows that. He knows it so well. And he is more than ready to finally do something instead of just dangling from the wall in Ue's prison. His teeth ground. When he sees this man, this merged monster, the next time, he will... But no. There is no use in thinking nasty thoughts. He is needed. And he is eager to go.

"It is time."


	14. Flash, Back, Part One

_Why does everyone think that Splinter is saved? :D Yeah, I know I'm mean. Thanks for reviewing, though- SO awesome.

* * *

"Nothing ever goes away."  
[Barry Commoner]

* * *

_**Chapter 14: Flash, Back**** [Part One]

* * *

**Don shines the flashlight into Leo's eyes. The pupil reacts exactly as wished, by shrinking, and the blue-haired boy even tries to turn his head away. There are no marks on his body other than the ones Don thinks he knows (of course, with the human skin, he can never be too sure). No fever. His breathing is normal, if only a bit hectic. His heartbeat is increased, but again, how can he be sure? Don checked everything. Not even the lymph nodes are swollen. Everything.

And still, Leo is whimpering, clawing at the carpet and sweating heavilly. And no matter what they do, he won't wake up.

"I think," Donnie finally says and sits back. Every eye in the room is now on him, even Tobias' who just came back with arms full of clothes. Black, of course, because that seems to be the only color Liza's father ever wears. "I think, after everything you told me..."

Dramatic pause. Raph seems about ready to go for his brother's throat. And Liza would gladly join him.

"... that he might be having a flashback."

Mikey stares at him, then at his twitching brother on the ground, then at Don again. Opens his mouth. Closes it. Stares again. Everyone is watching him now because he looks like a wobblehead dog. When he finally speaks, his voice is small and insecure like a child's.

"Can people die of flashbacks?"

And Don doesn't have an answer for that.

***L*E*O***

_The air around him is damp, stale. It smells rotten. Like rotten fish, daddy always said. He wouldn't know. After all, he was still young. Only... how old was he again? He stared down at his fingers, his brow furrowed with deep concentration. One, two, three, four, five. Five. He had never seen a fish._

Green fingers. Six of them. Why? Why does he look like that?

_It is dark out here, and he is alone. But he is not afraid. Daddy said he'd be right back, told him to play hide-and-seek and only come out when daddy calls him. And he trusts daddy, because daddy always keeps his promises._

Who is he? Where is he? What happens? Why is it so dark?

_Okay, so maybe he is a bit scared. He doesn't like darkness, never has. But he found an old flashlight somewhere nearby, and now he is okay. It is dim, but that's good, because they are playing hide-and-seek. It is light, and that's good because this way he's not afraid. He waits. Nothing happens, but he ignores the knot that's forming in his guts, because daddy promised. Daddy promised to be back soon. _

He should leave. He knows something terrible is about to happen, he can't explain why, but he knows. He wants to run, but his feet won't let him. Green feet. Two toes. Panic is rising in his chest. What happens?

_He presses the bag with groceries closer to his chest. Watch that, daddy had said. You're a big boy now. He doesn't feel like a big boy. He's only five. But he is not afraid because daddy said he'll be back soon and then they'll go home..._

No! No, please, don't... He knows what will happen. How can he know? Who is this green creature?

_A scream rolls down the tunnels, strange and raw and frightening. The voice he knows so well is twisted, changed, but he recognizes it nonetheless. Daddy. "NO!" Daddy is shouting. What is happening? But he must not come out, he has to hide, he has to watch the bag... And he squeezes tighter into the hole in the wall, not daring to breathe. The flashlight burns out with a last pathethic flicker, and then the darkness comes. He closes his eyes, biting back his whimpers. Daddy will come back... He promised... Hours pass by. _

He is afraid.

***L*I*Z*A***

I leave the room to give the boys a bit of privacy while they change clothes. I feel very much like handing out hot chocolate now, and this is what I'll do. Prepare hot chocolate. Drink one myself. Calm down. Recollect myself.

Leo is lying on the sofa now, because Don figured if he has to have a flashback, he can at least do it in comfort. I almost snorted at that. Almost. But I didn't, because Donnie looked as if he might be losing it again any second now that he has nothing else to concentrate on. And because I can't even begin to imagine what he has been through... What all of them have been through.

Hot chocolate. Concentrate on the hot chocolate.

But as I pour milk into a kettle to heat it up, I can't help but wonder what Leo sees that makes him be like this. And what will happen when he wakes up. I ground my teeth, accidentally biting my lip. _If _he wakes up.

The milk boils over with a sizzling sound, spraying hot droplets everywhere. I stare at it for a second before I come back to my senses. When did that happen? I have only just turned on the stove, haven't I? I look at the clock while my fingers press the right buttons on their own. Five minutes. I have been here for five minutes. Have I been out? Deep in thoughts.

Again I almost laugh. Almost. This is ridiculous. How do they do that? I live my life in perfect harmony- or what comes close to it- and then they come over and manage to faint and get injured and almost kill themselves in a matter of hours. How? Why?

I pour what is left of the milk into a few cups. Not bothering to count them. I am afraid to go back to the living room because I've been gone for more than five minutes. Everything could have happened in five minutes when it comes to these boys.

Or maybe even worse. Nothing could have happened.

***L*E*O***

Another scene, just as familiar as the former, and just as alien to him.

_He is sitting in a room with high walls made of sand stone. The ceiling is far away and domed, forming a skylight. Sunlight is streaming through the windows__, shining on him, bathing his skin in warmth. He takes a deep breath and almost closes his eyes, but not quite. Through the slits he looks around._

_Four ... persons are sitting next to him, forming a circle. They all have their eyes closed in concentration. Next to him sits a giant humanoid rat wearing a robe. His breathing is even and calm, and he smiles. And the others... Turtles. Three green fingers, two green toes, a shell, they all look similar if it weren't for the different colored cloth that's covering half their faces. Orange, red, and purple. And yet he knows perfectly well who is who, without a second thought. He smiles again, finally closing his eyes and relaxing. His family._

Family? He doesn't have a family. Or maybe he does, but he can't remember, so they can't be important. Right? He wouldn't forget something as important as his family. And if he had one, they'd be human. Like him. Not like... these creatures... right?

_"Leo, why is my skin green?"  
_

_He looks down at his youngest brother with a sad smile. Michelangelo. The name is crystal clear in his head, because he has spoken it many times and thought it a million times more. Mikey. _

_"Why are you asking me that?"_

_The smaller turtle is pouting, his lower lip sticking out. "Daddy always says we're different. That we look different, and so we have to hide down here. But why do we look different? Why don't we have pink skin and hair like the people in the picture books?"_

Yes, he would very much like to know that too. He doesn't understand. Why is this thing talking to him anyways? Knows his name. Leo. That is his name.

_He bends down, gently embracing the younger child in a hug. "Because we're cool like that." He tries a smile even though he knows his answer is far from satisfying. Because he has no idea. Because he has asked himself these questions over and over again. And Michelangelo smiles back at him a smile that is neither real nor fake. "Yeah. We're cool."_

This smile..!

***L*I*Z*A***

I walk back into the living room to see what I expected to see. Nothing changed.

Of course, the boys are now wearing what can be considered normal clothes. My dad's clothes, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest, because I never see my dad in them. He's never home, after all, and has everything he needs with him. The boys look strange all in black, but at least better than before.

Raph's hair is flat from the helmet and he has scraped knuckles and a few scratches in his face. Donnie looks even worse. I haven't realized before how dirty he is. His face shows bright lines where his tears have washed away the dirt, but his nails have black rands, and his hair is filthy. How can that be? He didn't even _have _any hair during the SAINW episodes. But there he is.

I know I can't really convince them to take a shower now. But I can try to make them wash their hands at least.

"Boys," I say as gentle as possible and put the cups down on the table. There's only three of them. I'm stupid. "Boys, don't you think it'd be good to clean yourself a bit?" How stupid to ask them that _after _they have changed clothes. What is wrong with me?

They look at me confused, and maybe also a bit scared. But they don't answer. And I know that it is no use. How can I even ask them to leave the room when their oldest brother is in such a state? Oh right. I wouldn't know. I don't have siblings.

"Nevermind," I say with a small sigh.

Then I hand out hot chocolate.


	15. Flash, Back, Part Two

_Happy New Year, everybody! Wohoo! Let's make 2011 an unforgettable year, because after us, no one will ever live this year again. :)  
Of course Splinter is saved. I was just trying to mock you all. :D Sorry for that._

_

* * *

No one would have ever crossed the oceans  
Had he had the possibility to abandon ship in a storm.

* * *

_**Chapter 15: Flash, Back [Part Two]

* * *

**No time to think about it. No time. Not that time matters in these realms where strange pictures are only interrupted by seconds of darkness before the next scene starts. _What happens?_ No time to think about it._ Where am I_? No time for anything but a short emotion, a sudden feeling of like and dislike, the flash of a thought. _Who am I_? No time. The next picture.

_"My agents said you were good, but their description doesn't do you justice." A smile flashing from the shadows. "My name is Oroku Saki."_

Dislike. He definitely dislikes that man. But why? Didn't the just compliment his skills?

_"Many things are said. But few are true." Furrowed eyebrows. Grey fur. Swishing tail. A lecture.  
_

Shame. Guilt. He doesn't like at all what he's hearing. But still... Acceptance. He likes this creature. He respects it. Why!

_"Teacher's pet." A mask, dark red, the color of blood. Eyes blazing. Amber, almost golden. Blades in the sunlight. Ground teeth. An argument.  
_

Hurt. But somehow he is not angry. He understands, and yet at the same time he doesn't. Why don't these images stop!

***?*?*?***

The door is heavy, made from steel and thick wood. He has to turn a big key around to open it, which it does only reluctantly with a high shrieking sound. Behind it, everything is dark. But he knows his way.

His two mouths turn into a smile in unison, dark and dangerous and never reaching his two sets of eyes. They are so different, and yet in this moment their emotions are exactly the same. Anticipation. And the satisfaction of finally having their _revenge._

His feet drag heavilly over the rough stone floor. Dust is coming up in thick clouds. He ignores it. He doesn't see anything anyway. Instead he turns to the left and finally faces what he knows is yet another door, made of steel bars. A cell door. And behind it, a prisoner.

His smile grows wider and he takes another step forwards, attempting to open the door. Then he freezes in his tracks. Something is not right. Not right at all. Agitated, he sniffs the air, only to finally breathe in dust and dirt of what has to be a millenium and he starts to cough heavily. His tail is twitching now. He is nervous. Something is in the air. Or rather, something is not.

The smell of fear is gone.

Suddenly he is in a hurry, pulling out another key, fumbling with the cell door's lock. He is hissing angrily, two voices mixed together, spitting venom in the process. Finally this key turns as well, more quiet, with nothing but a click. The doors swing open, leading into more darkness. And into absolute silence.

The faint breathing is gone.

He growls now, deep in his throats, not wanting to admit what is already crystal clear. He reaches into the depts of his coat and pulls out a long staff made of wood and with golden inlays. As soon as it is held up, it starts to pulse with a deep red glow. Suddenly the curtain of complete blackness is lifted, showing the outlines of rough stone walls, reflects the red beams off the steel bars and the chains that are hanging from the wall to his left.

There's nothing inside the cell.

No one, either.

And as he lifts his gaze from the chains that are still dangling, as he sees the spot on the ground where something like wind has blown away the dust, he has a very good idea why that is. And he doesn't like it at all.

This woman could be a serious threat for his plans.

***L*E*O***

He knows these golden eyes that are blazing with anger. And more than just that. He has seen them filled with worry. Has seen them sparkle with laughter and silent amusement. Has seen them clouded over with concentration, staring right through him, filling with tears. The tears of a child who broke his toy car. The tears of a young boy who hurt his ankle. The tears of a teenager who worries about his brothers. He knows these eyes.

Slowly his mind is connecting the pieces. Slowly his memories come back. And with them comes the guilt.

***?*?*?***

He is surrounded by light. It is bright, blue and white, but not unpleasant. He feelt oddly comforted by the flames that seem to dance, to draw circles and pictures into the dark space around him. And the darkness is not unfriendly either. Rather he feels like dreaming, catching up some long-needed sleep**.**

With a kind of distant interest, he watches his own form change. His bony fingers grow and change color as the gray fur that covers them disappears. The same happens to his toes. Curious he watches while his sharp, black claws are replaced by soft pink fingernails. His legs stretch and he distantly wonders why he doesn't feel pain when the position and the direction of his knees is completely turned. But after all, this is not a normal place.

His attention is diverted when all of a sudden, he feels something more on the spiritual plane than anything else. It takes him a moment to figure this out, but when he does, his heart beats faster. He can feel his sons' presences again! They are quickly reaching their destination.

The only hair left on his body is that on the top of his head. He wrinkles his nose in slight dislike when said organ shrinks and his sense of smell is greatly reduced; then he realizes that he _can _smell something again, fresh and flowery and sweet.

_Fresh air._

He opens his eyes that he had not been aware of being closed and looks around. It seems to be an alleyway, bright and friendly and overgrown with bushes and grass. The blue flames are still dancing at the corners of his vision, but they are getting thinner, smaller, fainter. Disappearing.

He looks down his body and is only partly surprised to find it human. It is only for the better right now.

"Thank you, Miss Renet." He bows, a small formal gesture that is filled with gratitude, before he tightens his worn robe and steps out into the sunlight.

***L*E*O***

_"I am your father, Leonardo, and you are my long-lost son. I don't know what these creatures have done to you. But I promise, no, I swear to you that I will make it okay." And the man with the long, red hair pulls him into a tight embrace which he returns happily. He is so glad that he finally found his family again. Someone who is just like him. __A human. Someone friendly. Someone who looks after him. __His father..._

Only now he isn't so sure anymore.

Splinter and Ue are nothing alike and even less like _him_. And yet both tell him that they are his father, that he is supposed to trust them. He is confused. So confused...

_Time for some answers._


	16. Mind

_Sorry the last chap was so short. Here comes a big one; one that I had very much fun to write. :3 Hehe. Enjoy! And thanks for the reviews, 'cause they made my day._

_

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__All the world's a stage,_  
_ And all the men and women merely players;_  
_ They have their exits and their entrances,_  
_ And one man in his time plays many parts,_  
_ His acts being seven ages.  
[Shakespeare - As You Like It]__

* * *

_**Chapter 16: Mind  


* * *

**I'm trying hard not to pay attention to the conversation. They are talking about football now, explaining the rules to Tobias, because in Germany football is something you laugh about in American movies. Men here are into soccer, or boxing, or tennis on occasions. And they interrupt each other in their feverish attempts to explain what it is all about, and I can't bear it to listen to them because it is so clear, so crystal clear that they are only trying to distract themselves from the situation at hand. And I hate how easy it is to look right through their facades.

My eyes are on the cover of the book that's laying on the table next to me. I have been reading it a few days ago and then forgot to put it back into my bookshelf. Absently, my fingers trace the salient letters that form the book's name. They linger on the last word for a second, as I stare at the twirling patterns that decorate the cover. Everything in me is longing for a moment of silence, for the chance to grab the book and a cup of tea and disappear into a dark corner with a flashlight.

I hear footsteps behind me and know without looking that it is Donnie. He's eyeing the book under my fingers with honest interest. "What are you reading?", he asks me and tilts his head in curiosity. Obviously the topic "football" is exhausted.

I pull my hand away. "City of Bones." I try to hold my voice steady and flat, not entirely successful. "It's a good book." _Fantasy. Demons. Magic. Nothing you ever read about, since your lives are full of it._

"Yeah, I know." I hear the soft smile in his voice and turn in time to see it disappear from his eyes. "I've read it." He narrows his eyes, his purple eyebrows knitted together by wrinkles. "We all have, I think. Mike, you read 'The Mortal Instruments' too, didn't you?"

Mikey waves back casually, not looking up from the sheet of paper in front of him. Obviously he is now explaining the drawing up of a football team, with Raph correcting him. Tobias shoots me a look that is very close to "save me", and I quickly look away. Let him deal with that. I can't help the small grin that's lurking in the corners of my mouth, though, until a new thought occurrs to me.

"Wait. You read that?" He gives me a short nod, not sure where this leads him. I shake my head in confusion, remembering something. "But that can't be." Quickly I snatch the book from his hands and flick through the pages, muttering mnemonics as I do so. _Three-and one- is four. Four teenage mutant ninja turtles. Page 314. _There it is, and I shove the book back into his hands none too gently. He stares at me with a mixture of disbelief and curiosity.

"Read", I say and tap my finger on the marked paragraph the top of the page. And he reads, and his eyes go wide while his face breaks into a nervous smile. "But," he says and swallows. "But. That's not in our book."

"Read it out, dude," Mikey chimes in, his eyes wide with anticipation. "What's up?"

_""When I was twelve, I wanted a tattoo," Clary said. "My mum wouldn't let me have that, either."" _

Donnie's voice is trembling slightly, but he has a very nice reading voice, something I immediately envy him for.

"_Jace didn't laugh. "Most Shadowhunters get their first Marks at twelve. It must have been in your blood."_  
_"Maybe. Although I doubt most Shadowhunters get a tattoo of Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on their left shoulder.""_

His voice cracks and he finishes, quickly shutting the book as if the words would jump out and bite him otherwise. Mikey's mouth hangs open, and Raph pushes it closed none too gently before he speaks. "Bro, you are famous." He laughs, a harsh and deep bellowing sound, but not entirely unpleasant. I realize that I never pictured Raphael laughing before_, _and I blush with the sudden feeling of shame washing over me.

_"Lemme see! Lemme see!" _Mikey is skidding on the stone floor in a feeble attempt to grab the book from his older brother. "Is there something about me, too? Lemme see!"

And I'm glad that with his antics he scares off the heavy atmosphere for a moment.

***S*P*L*I*N*T*E*R***

He is stumbling along the sidewalk now, one hand against the fence to comfort his weakening legs. Few people are out on the streets in this neighbourhood, and he is thankful for it. Even though he knows that he is human now, the voice in the back of his head is screaming at him to hide, to get out of the light, and he has to fight to ignore it and continue on his path. Where he is going he does not know.

_"Just down the street and to the left, and it was so awesome, a giant house, unbelievable-" _His eldest son's voice is his only lead, and not much so because the street is long, turns are sparse, and all the houses are tall and hidden behind steel fences and iron bars.

Those he meets change the roadsite when they see him, denying him any chance to ask for further directions. He can hardly hold it against them. He knows what he must look like- an old man in a tattered robe, filthy and naked. His hair hanging down into his eyes is a mat of tangled strands encrusted with dirt. And the wounds- his wrists are cut, raw and open; his feet torn and leaving dark prints where he is going; and his face feels shredded, scratched and only partly encrusted. He looks like a beggar, if not worse. And people are the same everywhere; they don't care about him as long as he doesn't bother them. Especially in a neighborhood as wealthy as this one.

As he draggs himself further, fighting to stay on his feet, Splinter can't help but wonder how on earth his sons managed to become friends with anyone living here. It seems impossible to him now.

On the other hand, nearly everything seems impossible. Walking, for example. Or getting enough air through his raw throat into his tight lungs. He is wheezing, running a hand over his face in a tired manner and pulling it away bloodied. His knees buckle and he gives in to the weakness, his left hand sliding down the metal bar of another fence uselessly. What can he do? Everything is a haze, his vision narrowing, a blurr. Cold sweat is breaking on his forehead; and still he is falling, falling...

Strong arms catch him before he hits the pavement, accompanied by a startled gasp. He is lifted carefully, sat against the fence, and for a moment he just leans back and tries to catch his breath. The sun is drying the sweat off his forehead and the tremble in his hands is slowly subsiding.

"Sind Sie okay? Können Sie mich hören?"

A stranger speaking in an unknown language. No. Not unknown. _German. _He opens his eyes just the teensiest bit, looking at the man in front of him- and he has to correct himself. Not a man, a boy, hardly older than his sons. His dark brown hair is falling into his eyes, and he tucks it away almost impatiently, before reaching for Splinter's hand and squeezing it reassuringly. Splinter flinches, but he is too weak to fight this boy, and too tired as well.

"Keine Angst, Mister. Ich rufe einen Krankenwagen, und dann sind Sie im Nu wieder auf den Beinen." He is still speaking German. Splinter manages to shake his head, a weak gesture that takes more effort than he would have liked. "English," he whispers, and his voice is raw and hoarse. Something flickers in the boy's eyes, but it is gone before the old master can be sure.

"Right, sir. I'll call the ambulance in just a second. It will be all right."

He gives Splinter's hand another reassuring squeeze, but this time Splinter presses back, holding the teenager's hand in a firm grip. "No ambulance," he manages before a coughing fit sends him against the fence, shaking. It does nothing to convince the person opposite. "I need to find someone." He distanty wonders if all people in Germany speak English, but the thought slips from his tired brain and disappears in the dephts of his mind.

"But look at your hands, your face..." A sharp intake of breath. Splinter realizes that he closed his eyes and re-opens them excruciatingly slowly. He is so tired. "What happened to you?" the boy asks incredulously, and then takes another deep breath and rubs his temples. "Find someone. Who do you need to find? I will bring you there, but you have to promise me to see a doctor as soon as we're done."

Gratitude washes over Splinter like a wave. This boy obviously is in a hurry; he can see it in the darting eyes, the nervous glance at the watch at his wrist. And still he is willing to help him. And Splinter knows that he will have to accept this offer. He needs help, or at least directions, and the boy is right- he needs medical treatment as well.

He is lifted again, supported by a hand on his waist and his arm over the boy's shoulder. Splinter can't help but realize with a start that he has grown a fair bit so that he is now about as tall as the boy rather than 5''. A shudder crawles down his spine, and the boy tightens his grip. "Where to?" he asks, and Splinter takes another deep breath before he answers.

"Liza May." He has to use all his strength to even whisper the name. "I'm looking for Liza May."

The teenager hisses and again tightens his grip. It sounds suspiciously like a curse.

"I should have known."

And when Splinter looks up into his helper's face, the old man can't help the feeling that he did.


	17. Reunification Delayed Due To Awkwardness

_Ugh. I... UGH. I got the flu. Seriously bad. Can't remember the last time it got me like that. It's horrible. I've been in bed for the last three days, hot and hurting all over. I have slept a total of 5 hours during the last 72 due to hallucinations. Blerch. But enough whining. I'm slightly better now, and here I am, a brand-new chapter of UWVIIL (:D) coming right up._

_A few more things before we start. 1) Thanks to my reviewers, you are awesome and totally made my day when I checked the reviews just now. Blue? Awesome you like it too. I memorized it with the second time reading only. So cool. ^^ 2) Mikell, glad you're back... *coughs* Splintered Hearts? *coughs* Hehe. *Sheepish grin* and 3) I just scrolled through some old stories today and remembered that I never finished reading "Drabbles Forever" by Mikell. So I'm on it now, and even though I don't have the energy to review properly, I love every single second of it. So today's quote is from "The Unconvincing Turtle Drabbles", Last Chap, because it touched my heart._

_**Warning: **Today's chap could be weird. Due to me hallucinating and stuff. Also, if someone notices typos and the like, please inform me. They are so embarrassing once your head is clear._

_"Aniki" means "big brother" in an admiring kind of way. Can only be spoken. And "Otooto-chan" means "little brother". I hope. :D At least that's what google told me._

_

* * *

As we were leaving, [The Ancient One] handed me a bundle of cloths, a miniature rainbow. I stammered my thanks, realizing the enormity of his gift..._  
_For each of my sons, he had chosen a color. Calming blue for Leonardo. Passionate red for Raphael. Mysterious purple for Donatello, and for Michelangelo, orange._  
_The color of butterflies._

* * *

**Chapter 17: Reunification Delayed Due To Awkwardness.

* * *

**It is awkward, seeing his name in a book like that. A book that he had read many times, a book that he had loved and still does love, and suddenly, by the change of one sentence, his feelings tilt and are gone.

No, not gone. Just... different. He feels strangely light-headed while at the same time, his limbs seem to be made of lead. It feels wrong to have his own name in a book that he thought he knew. And at the same time... it feels good. Good to see, in the little things, that their presence touches this world and stirrs something. Achieves something.

Still, when Mikey claims that in their version at home, the sentence is about Spiderman, Donatello is glad for the distraction.

But something is not right.

At first he can't tell what it is. He thinks of Tobias, who despite his laughter shuffles uneasily on the chair and glances at the old grandfather clock ever so often. But that's not it. He looks at Liza and Mikey who scroll through the pages of the book, stopping wherever passages are marked with highlighter, and laughing about the sarcastic remarks. Not them either. Finally his eyes move to meet Raph's, who stares back at him with the same contained unease, and the feeling grows. His older brother feels it too.

_What is wrong_?

Donnie turns around once more, staring out of the screen door that's leading into the garden. The sun is setting slowly, the way the sun does during summer season when the days are long and the nights are humid and hot. A faint smile plays on his lips when he remembers the last time they have been here, in winter, remembers the broken boiler and the snow in the streets. His weary eyes graze the grass outside, trail along the window ledge, check the terrace and the thickly growing trees. No one is in sight.

And yet he knows he is being watched.

Then he turns his deep brown eyes to the left and meets Leonardo's onyx ones that are staring right back.

For a second he freezes, and then an impossibly wide smile all but consumes his face. He almost runs over to the sofa, dropping to his knees next to it to embrace his brother tightly.

_"Aniki_!"

Leo stiffens when he feels Donatello's arms closing in on him, and he even closes his eyes. As quickly as the euphoria came before now comes the worry. _Not right. Still not right_. The boy with the deep purple hair lets go rather suddenly, rocking back on his heels to take a good look at the oldest brother. The dark eyes he thought he knows so well look at him now not with joy and relief, but with insecurity and possibly even misstrust. _Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._

"You."

Leo's voice is hoarse, raspy and deep. It is also lacking something that Donnie never realized it was there, not until now that it is gone. _Brotherliness. _Despite his large vocabulary, that is the only way the genius can describe it. Leo's voice is lacking brotherliness.

"You weren't here before."

It's a statement, not a question. Nonetheless Don feels it necessary to answer, if only shortly. He shakes his head. "I just arrived." He knows that his voice sounds pleading. He isn't sure himself what he is pleading for. _Don't look at me like that. I'm here now._

"You are one of them."

Still not a question. Why does he feel such a strong need to defent himself? Again, Donnie responds shortly, nodding this time. "Sure. We're brothers."_ Stop talking like that. Don't you remember? _Only to then, almost with a start, realize that Leo probably doesn't. He had thought that he understood what it meant to have a brother with amnesia. Only now he understands that he didn't. Not at all. And he sees that after all the others told him, he was still convinced that Leo would just wake up and remember immediately, embracing them, and it would all be okay.

Just that it isn't.

Leo looks at the newcomer down to the last detail. A human boy. A bit pale, as if he doesn't get enough sunlight. Purple hair, an unequivocal hint to their common origin, because humans don't have purple hair. He knows that much. And he also knows this boy. Swift and soft, like being brushed by feathered wings, a memory grazes the edges of his mind. The memory of a dojo, of sunlight. Of meditation. Of 'people' he called his family. There have been four of them besides himself, he realizes now. _Splinter. Raphael. Michelangelo_. And... he narrows his eyes in concentration, his gaze not leaving that boy's face...

"Donatello."

He is rewarded with the sight of sudden relief surging through the wiry body that's sitting in front of him. _How much a single name can change, _he thinks almost with bitterness. He remembered parts of his life with the others, because they have been _there _before and because he has seen them. But no, that is not right. He also remembered the rat creature, Splinter, and he is nowhere to be seen. What does that mean?

"You are my brother?"

The words escape his lips before he can think them through properly. And he sees that face in front of his own fall, sees the sparkle disappear from the brown eyes that he has the suspicion he knows, even though he can't nail the feeling down. But he knows them, just as he knows the amber ones that flare golden in the afternoon sun and that glare daggers at him now. Just as he knows the blue ones that have taken the color of a stormy ocean with concern and sadness.

"Of course you are," he corrects himself thoughtfully. "I know you are. Just... give me some time." He tries an apologetic smile, knowing that it will likely not be enough. And he reaches out and embraces the other boy tightly, just as he should have in the beginning.

"Just give me time", he whispers. "_Otooto-chan_."

***S*P*L*I*N*T*E*R***

He still can't see their destination.

The sun is stinging in his eyes, beams of light too bright for him mixed with sweat and maybe something thicker, crimson, effectively blinding him. His feet hurt. His wrists hurt. His whole body hurts, up to parts of him that during the long emprisonment had become numb, and are now flaring up again with the movement. He also knows that he is weaker than usual after not having trained in days, possibly more, and not having slept much either. Or eaten or drank for that matter.

He is glad for the help of this boy, but at the same time he is almost painfully aware of the hands that hold his wrist and his waist in a firm grip; of the muscles under that tan skin that show now that the boy has given the old master his jacket. He bites back any exclamations of the pain that is flaring up with every step; he has that much dignity left. But he knows that if for some reason this young man were to turn against him, he would be all but helpless.

The thought fills him with slight nausea but also, even though it is deeper and concealed by a swirl of other emotions, with fury.

His helper has been silent for a while now, solely concentrating on getting both of them to the end of the street. It gives Splinter time to look at him again, to memorize details that due to his condition have remained hidden to him before. On closer inspection, he can see flecks of dust on the jeans the boy is wearing. As if he had only recently worked with bricks or maybe plaster. Splinter also notices the fringes where the thread is coming off the boy's black shirt at the bottom. The clothes have something worn on them. He realizes that even though they met here, this young man probably doesn't live anywhere near this neighbourhood.

He has yet to decide whether that is good or bad.

On and on they go, and even though only a few minutes can have passed since their meeting, to Splinter it feels far longer. He becomes less and less confident in this young man whose name he doesn't even know. Once again, his eyes travel over the face of the person opposite, a face set with determination. A tremor passes through him. Maybe he shouldn't have accepted the offer to help. Maybe he should end this right now and find the house himself. How can he be sure that this stranger can be trusted?

Hasn't he himself taught his sons to be cautious and that humans are treacherous and likely to harm anything foreign to them?

They move around another corner, and as if on cue, the boy's face turns and those dark eyes meet his own onyx ones. "Almost there", he says and offers a small smile. "Remember your promise. See a doctor as soon as you checked in with Liza May."

Splinter stares at him in confusion for a moment before he slowly, almost hesitantly, lets his own smile spread over his face. He has yet to remember again that he does not mistrust everyone with a human face in general. Only few of them have earned this dislike. Saki. Bishop. His face narrows. Ue. Not all humans are evil, and it would go against all his principles to assume otherwise.

He takes another step and another, and suddenly the hands that hold him up are no threat anymore but a help, a guidance. He smiles again, his forehead wrinkling in the process.

"You remind me of someone," the boy says and readjusts the arm that is slung over his shoulder. His eyes are fixed on a house not far down the street. "He has the same eyes as you." And he turns his head again to look at the old man that has the same destination as him.

"My name is Michael, by the way."

They stop in front of the house, and the young man lifts his hands from the elder's robe to reach the door.

"We're here."


	18. When I Thought You Might

_Oh my gosh. I am such a baka sometimes. Here I was, thinking "remember to write a disclaimer and something like '_I will remove the quote if you want me to, Mikell'!_" And then, whoosh, it's all gone. I am terribly sorry, and I'm glad you don't think bad of me now. Blame it on the flu. *blushes with shame*_

_This story is becoming kinda Mike-centric. O_o I don't really know why. It'll change with later chapters. Let's see if I can make this a 24-chap-story like Vol. I. Now that I decided to do so, it probably won't work at all, but whatever. :D_

_

* * *

You can own the earth  
And still  
All you own is earth  
Until you can paint with all the colors of the wind  
[Pocahontas]

* * *

_**Chapter 18: When I Thought You Might

* * *

**"I do remember you."

_I just wish it were the truth._

"You're my brother. How could I forget that?"

_If only you didn't know me better than that._

"Family is forever, right?"

_Because you do, don't you. You know me better than that. And I know you better than to believe the smile that's showing on your face right now._

"Come on. Just give me a little time."

_I saw your real smile in those dreams. The dreams you called 'flashbacks', even though they are against everything I thought I knew._

"I do remember you."

_I just don't know if you're saying the truth._

***L*I*Z*A***

"Can't be."

I stare out the window in plain disbelief. Clearly Tobias is right: the sun is already setting. The sunday is coming to an end, and Michael is really late. He has every reason to worry about his boyfriend.

But that's totally not possible.

My eyes briefly pass the plates that are still on the table, the french toast Mikey made this morning untouched. _I didn't even eat breakfast yet. _And still, the sun is setting. It will still take some hours until twilight is to come, but already the bright yellow sunbeams are becoming golden and red, the shadows are longer, the clouds have a pink touch to them. It's totally not possible, going against my inner clock in a way that is ridiculous even for a girl like me and for an eventful sunday.

The grandfather clock chimes. Four o'clock.

Tobias is checking his cell phone for the billionth time now, probably comparing the time to the clock. I rub my temples and then my belly when the faint nausea of a missed breakfast is coming through. Totally ridiculous.

"I do remember you."

Leo is still sitting on the sofa. His brothers are gathering around it, forming a tight circle, drawn to the eldest's presence the way moths are drawn to light. I smile absently. At first I had wanted to hurry over there as well, flooded with relief after Leo woke up. But I decided against it, choosing to let the four of them have some brother-time instead.

"You're my brother. How could I forget that?"

Leo is smiling too, a perfectly happy and content smile. His almond-shaped eyes are sparkling in the rays of light that are streaming through the window. They almost look like a painting in that light. The dominant colors of their hair, only increased in their effect by the fact that they are all wearing black jeans and black tees, are less violent somehow. The painting of a happy family. I feel a sting at the thought of my own "happy family" - my mum in Asia for a meeting of sorts and my dad on the plane to wherever.

"Family is forever, right?"

Mikey laughs cheerfully before he stands up and brushes over the fabric of his pants. _My dad's pants. _"Dudes, look at the time! We didn't even have breakfast yet, and I bet you are starving!" He smiles one more time before he walks over to the table, playfully elbowing Raphael when he passes him. Raph flicks his fingers against his youngest brother's knee in return, not even bothering to look up. Mikey doesn't seem to mind. Instead he starts to gather the plates on the table, sadly looking at the untouched food for a few moments.

"Come on. Just give me a little time."

I stand up and help Mike with the plates, quickly joined by Tobias. Leo is ruffling Donatello's hair in a playful manner and laughs again. It makes me happy to see that he remembers something at least. I sure have been afraid that he might have a really bad amnesia, because that'd totally mess up the whole family dynamic. So now that everything seems to be fine, I can almost _feel_ the tension leave me. I follow Mikey to the kitchen and put the dishes in the sink to fill them into the dishwasher later. The youngest brother turns to meet my eyes and I expect him to ask for new supplies for dinner.

"He's lying, you know."

His voice is bitter and catches me totally off guard. Tobias next to me looks startled, too, even though not half as much as feel.

"What?"

He turns away again, fiddling with the stove. "How about cheese steak for dinner? He is smiling too much. Totally pretending." He opens the refridgerator door, leaving me stunned for a moment. I didn't even know you could say two things like that in one breath. But the game can be played by two.

"We don't have cheese. We'd have to go shopping. Maybe he is just happy to see you again?"

Mikey's response is a small half-laugh that sounds like a snort. I do notice that he closes the fridge door with slightly more force than necessary, and automatically Tobias steps next to him to punch him lightly in the shoulder. Guy stuff. I crack a smile at that thought. I guess there are things I will never understand.

Just as I am about to get a grocery bag and drag those two to the supermarket, I hear the softest thud coming from the entrance hall. At first I think I'm imagining things, but Mikey and Tobias have heard it too. After the brief exchange of another startled look, Mikey pipes up first.

"You think someone's knocking?"

I shake my head. "Can't be. The door is solid, and besides it's also soundproof. You'd have to drive a car against it to be heard from the other side."

There is a short moment of silence in which the sound continues. Tobias throws me another look. "I think someone is driving his car against the door." He says it all matter-of-factly, but I don't miss the quick glance at the clock, and I know that he is thinking of Michael. So I choose to ignore the comment and leave the kitchen to answer the door.

***S*P*L*I*N*T*E*R***

Splinter barely feels the oncoming faint before the blackness is there, washing over him like a wave. He tries to resist the total shut-down of his senses, but he is too tired to really do anything but gasp.

When Michael gets him by the waist, once again preventing him from hitting the concrete, he has already passed out.

With the sheer force of desperation the dark-haired boy slams his bodyweight into the wooden door. He doesn't have the strength left to hold the old man with one hand and use the doorbell with the other. Carrying the stranger down for ten minutes has worn him out as well. Again, he slams into the door, ignoring the pain that's now flaring in his elbow and shoulder. Again. Again.

He wants to scream but doesn't, because he has no air left. All he manages is a low, panting whisper.

"Open..." _Slam. _"That..." _Slam. _"Door!"_ Slam._

And the door obeys his will._  
_


	19. Good Intention, Worst Timing

_Great. The flu is back, with hurting limbs and headache and coughing and everything. Further updates might be delayed...  
_

_

* * *

_"Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems."  
[Douglas Adams]

_

* * *

_**Chapter 19: Good Intention, Worst Timing  


* * *

**I thought that nothing could surprise me anymore.

I guess finding yourself in a heap of a mess with four cartoon characters will do that to you. You sit there, doing nothing, admittedly missing them a little, and then just like that they appear. One after the other. And you know where they have been, and you never paid it a second thought before because, well, it wasn't _real_. When I was watching the SAINW episodes, I must have been about fifteen. Maybe even younger. In any case I was too young to really understand what it meant to them. I loved Leo meeting Usagi in his home world, I thought Raph's race was really cool, and I found Mikey lucky for meeting his superhero-brothers. And Donnie, well, one had to bite the bullet, right? In the end, it was all good, and that was all that mattered to me back then. Finished. Forgotten. Next chapter.

Never mind that now that I got to know them better. I saw Mikey crying about the loss of his father. I saw Raph acting totally out of character and no one else cared about it. I saw Donnie's face empty like a locked steel door, not even wanting to think about what he just went through. I saw Leo lying with a smile on his face. I saw pain. And I figured that they have really still been cartoon characters for me up to now, but that changed.

As I said, I was pretty convinced that nothing could surprise me anymore.

So I really should have expected Michael and Hamato Splinter crashing into me when I opened the front door. But truth be told, I didn't.

And now I'm in the kitchen again, frantically hammering my fingertips against the edge of the table while I wait for Dr. Kersch to answer the phone. I am pretty sure my fingernails won't withstand the pressure much longer, and I distantly wonder about how much nail polish I will need to cover the damage, and then about the color of the nail polish, and really anything to distract myself.

When my family's doctor finally picks up the phone, I am so lost in thought about different shades of red that I almost miss it.

"Practice Dr. Kersch, how can I help you?"

Even before I open my mouth I know that it is no good. We need far more than a doctor coming to my house to help Spli- Mr. Hamato. I force myself to use his family name, even though it's hard. I'm polite. I'm a good girl. And even though I don't know anything about first aid, what I have seen of the old man Michael half-dragged through the hallway was enough to tell me that he is in the urge need of a hospital.

"I am sorry to disturb you, Mr. Kersch. This is Liza May. I need your help with a little... research."

There is a short moment of silence before he speaks again. "No problem at all, Liza. You never disturb me." I can hear in his voice that he is lying, that he'd rather go back to whatever he had been doing when I called. But I am a top priority patient, and he has to keep me satisfied. I decide not to feel guilty about that. Now is not the time to play the gentleman. Woman. Whatever. Not the time.

"I need to transfer someone from my house to the nearest and best clinic available. Fast." I think of Splinter's bleeding wrists, of his painful expression, and swallow thickly. "Really fast."

Another second of silence before he answers, but this time he is all business. "All right. What exactly are we talking about here?"

I briefly fill him in on the situation- old family friend, apparently victim of an abduction, somehow made it to my house, needs help. I put as much urgency as I can afford into my voice, which is pretty much. Still, Dr. Kersch doesn't seem entirely convinced.

"How's his health ensurance? He's American, right? But he does have ensurance to afford treatment like that?"

Ugh. I didn't even think about anything like that. "Umm, not exactly? But I will bear all the costs, that's quite all right." That's not even the question. My parents earn money by the second. We can easily afford that. "Quite all right." I try to feel as confident as I sound. The thought of using my father's credit card always makes me feel queasy. And as if he read my thoughts, Dr. Kersch asks, "your parents agree to this, right?"

_Shit. _I bite my tongue. I can't lie to this man. It'd be _wrong_. Besides, how could I possibly explain this to anyone later? "Everything's all right", I repeat slowly. It's not a lie. _Calm down. You're not lying._

If they were here more often, I wouldn't have to lie, so it's their fault anyway.

"Really." He doesn't believe me. I close my eyes in exasperation, then open them again to see that I'm standing at the stove. How did I get here? Doesn't matter. Absently I fiddle with some loose strands of a pot holder. "Can I speak to your father, then? Or your mother?"

Breathe slowly. It's all right. "They are, kinda, not here right now", I say and hate myself for the nervousness in my voice. "They had some business, in Asia, and so..." I trail off, not sure how to continue. I know that Dr. Kersch disapproves; it's like I can feel the negative vibrations right through the phone.

"You are not telling me that you are alone at home with the severly wounded victim of an abduction, are you?" His voice is strangely calm, controlled. Suddenly I am a bit afraid. He can't call the youth wellfare for something like this, can he? I wouldn't know. I am aware of the fact that I am still a minor, and that by law my parents shouldn't let me alone so much, but that's fine with me. I'm almost eighteen.

I am also an obnoxious spoiled brat, and I think now is the time to play my trump card.

"You know", I say and am probably more surprised by my steel voice than anyone else, "I can just as well look up some hospitals on the Internet or the phone book. I thought that you can save me some trouble here, but apparently I am wasting my time." The words sound like ice shards, low and dangerous. I didn't know I could talk like that. "I hope you enjoy your afternoon, doctor."

My thumb is hovering above the phone's red button like a predatory bird when he answers. "Liza." I almost break into tears at the mentioning of my name. I like this man, I really do, and I know he somehow cares about me, and I hate to be like this. "I'll send someone over within the next thirty minutes. It'll be all right. Don't worry." He pauses for the fraction of a second, barely enough for me to catch a shaky breath. How can he be this nice? "I'll be there too. Thirty minutes. Hold on."

I hold the phone in my shaking hands for what seems like a long time after he hangs up, but it is probably only seconds. Trying to recollect myself. I am obnoxious. I am horrible.

Then I turn around and right into Donnie's face.

He is standing so closely behind me that I don't get how I didn't hear him breathe, at least. The sight startles me enough to jump a few inches into the air and almost drop the phone. My heart is flooded by sudden adrenaline, and my mind goes perfectly blank. So I just stare at him in shock, unable to speak, unable to move.

His expression is guarded, and there is something hard in his eyes that I haven't seen before.

He looks angry.

"What was that about?", he asks. Suddenly I think that maybe my voice wasn't that cold before. To me, he sounds so much worse.

I've never had anyone talk to me like that before.

"I..." _Don't know what to say. _"I think that it would be best..." _Just tell the truth. _I swallow thickly, my eyes flickering back and forth, not quite meeting his. "Best to transfer your father to a hospital, so I called Dr. Kersch and asked him about it, and he is sending someone over. They won't ask any questions, and it's a very good hospital, and I'll bear all the costs..." My voice is a hasty blur, filled with the desperate need to tell him everything, to make him _see, _make him _understand._

I have the feeling he doesn't.

"And you didn't think you should, for example, ask us before you do something like that?"

His voice is calm, factual, enough to make the hair of my neck stand on end. Scary. I didn't know Donnie could talk like that, and I look away, shift from one foot to the other, swallow again. Something is twisting in my stomach, the feeling of something dark and wrong and bitter. _I didn't do anything wrong. _"Look, I've seen him too, he needs professional treatment, and since you are all human now, you can visit him any time..." _My intentions were good. _He doesn't say anything, and I can't think of anything else either. _My intentions were good... _Tears start to dwell in my eyes. _My intentions were good!_

"They won't ask any questions?"

A single sentence is running through my mind. _Honey on razor wires. _This is what he sounds like. Sweet and dangerous and deadly. I feel a hiccup forming with the effort of fighting back my tears. And then I feel his breath on my cheek, feel his whisper in my ear, and my eyes widen, startled, while my body seems to be frozen solid.

"If I have learned one thing about humans," he says, and goosebumps are spreading all over my arms, "it's that there are _always questions._"

I close my eyes and feel my body tense, and then I know that he is gone and I am alone.

And the tears are rolling down my cheeks and I wrap my arms around myself as I sink down to the floor and cry. "My intentions were good." I repeat that sentence to myself, not sure whether I think it or actually say it aloud, not caring either way. "My intentions were good."

When I was watching the SAINW episodes, I must have been about fifteen. Maybe even younger. In any case I was too young to really understand what it meant to them.

Now I know that seeing Usagi's home world was a temptation to Leo and also an honor that he will never experience now.

Only now I get that the temptation was probably even bigger for Raph, and for the first time I wonder why he isn't boasting with his racing trophy at all the way Mike is with his Nexus trophy.

I finally understand that Mikey probably won't be able to read comic books for weeks and that sometimes there is more to happy endings than just victories.

And I see that what Donnie didn't "bite the bullet". He took the gun and fired it, and the aftermath is affecting him more greatly than I ever thought it would and in a way worse than I ever cared to imagine.

I thought nothing could surprise me anymore.

I thought that in the end it was all good. Finished. Forgotten.

Turns out I was wrong.


	20. Snake In Paradise

_Thanks for your amazing reviews. Sorry the last chap was mean. I don't know myself where that came from. All of a sudden it was just there. And here comes round whateverweareatnow. Twenty. Yes, that sounds right.

* * *

__You're original, cannot be replaced_  
_ If you only knew what the future holds_  
_ After a hurricane comes a rainbow_  
_[Katy Perry - Firework]_

* * *

**Chapter 20: Snake In Paradise  


* * *

**They all react to the news in a different way, and she expected that much. She did not, however, expect just _how _different their reactions are.

Donatello mostly refrains from talking at all. He just stands aside, checking over his father's vital signs, carefully cleaning the wounds he could see. He doesn't look at Liza if he can help it, and even though she barely sees it in all the confusion, it does hurt her in its obviousness.

Michelangelo seems totally crazed now. He is jumping around all the time, hugging her and then debating again. She can only guess that it's his phobia of everything sterile and medic-like fighting the desperate wish to help his father. The latter seems to be winning, though, and after some time he calms down enough to formally thank her for the opportunity of a real hospital; an awkward moment to add to her list of blushes.

Raphael reacts strangely calm. He mostly just stands there and waits. For what, she does not know, and she is not convinced that he does either. Whenever she looks at him, he watches his father or Leonardo, but she has the suspicion that he is really staring at her, and she doesn't know what to make of this. The "new Raph" is foreign and strange to her, almost worse than the hot-tempered fighter she came to know. It just seems _wrong_ to her.

Splinter is for whatever reason wearing Leonardo's pants. Liza can only assume that the older man was- like his sons- only wearing his faded robe before, and thus she is thankful for the gift. But it is still unnerving to have the tall boy walking around in boxer shorts in her living room. She doesn't look at him too much, blushing every time she does.

Tobias has pulled his boyfriend aside, and they are in a corner talking and watching not unlike herself. The older boy tells the younger all that happened on the streets. He does not ask any questions, knowing that now is not the time, but Tobias can still see them in Michael's eyes, waiting to be spoken. He knows that he will have a lot of explaining to do later. He also knows that someone this patient is a gift from heaven, and he is thankful for it. There is not much time for love in this heap of panicking excitement, but he shows it as much as he can.

Then Liza is standing there, not exactly in their private space, but close enough to indicate that she wants to talk to them.

They finish their last sentence and then open the two-men-circle they have formed to let her in. Michael smiles at her, and she takes her time to greet him properly, and to for a second enjoy the fact that they are close enough to hug now. But it is Tobias she really wants to talk to, and so she does as soon as it doesn't seem impolite.

"They act totally strange", she says, and he can hear in her voice that it's not ironic in any way.

"You think so", he answers, and she can hear in his voice that he is not being sarcastic either.

"You don't?"

Her question is a quick glance, her surprise genuine. He looks at her for a moment, just long enough to make clear that she needs to explain herself. "They are so unlike the four boys I have met a few month ago." He bites back the comment about Leo's amnesia that's instantly coming to his mind. No time for bickering now.

"If I had been going through what they just have, I would be so much worse than that."

She is surprised, again, but this time her curiosity is stronger. It is her turn to wait for him to explain, and he wastes only a few seconds to think about the right words before he does. And she blushes a deep and angry red when she hears what he says; not because what he says hurts her, but because she should have known all that herself, and she is mad for not having enough experience with other people to see the easiest solutions.

"Donatello spent the ten minutes it takes to get here from the alley thinking that his brothers are dead." He uses their full names for a reason, trying to distance himself a little, to be objective. "Then he came here and found Mikey very alive and healthy, as well as Raph, and Leo where physical condition is concerned. He saw them die, because of his own decisions, and now he sees them live, totally unaware of anything." He sighs, a slow release of air, and she takes the opportunity to look at the genius more closely. She sees the lines in his face, the nervous flickering eyes that seem to be on everyone in the room at once. Tobias says, "and now you deny him the chance to 'make up for it' by calling the ambulance and possibly endangering them, and he is close to a nervous breakdown", and she thinks that it is only the question of who breaks down _first._

"Michelangelo's case is the total opposite, if you want." Now she is looking at him again, not missing the sideways glance of Michael, and not for the first time wondering if the older boy actually _knows. _She never told him. She can't tell if Tobias did. "He saw a different world, where they are all heroes. It was a wonderful experience. But he also saw his father die, and even though like Don, it was _his _decision that made it happen, he reacts in a different way." She watches the agile redhead nervously shifting, staring at the clock. "He wants to make it right this time, and if that means to go to a hospital to save Splinter, he will do that gladly."

She inspects her hands. _Red nail polish. _The clock is ticking. _How trivial. _She knows her eyes are red and puffy. She wishes she had cold water to reduce the swollen parts of her face. _She _isn't the one to cry here.

"Raphael is just scared."

At that, she blinks, confused by the short and clear statement. But before she can say something, sirens wail in the distance, coming closer, and the atmosphere changes into something cold and business-like.

She hurries to open the door for the ambulance, and after that, they don't have time to talk anymore.

***T*M*N*T***

We are standing in a long hallway with white walls. Doors, made of friendly and light wood, branch off in regular distances. They all look the same. Everything looks the same.

It's just like every other hospital in the world, if maybe a bit more extensive and better taken care of.

The boys look at everything like it's a miracle, but one of the sort where you don't know whether it's actually good or bad. Like they have been granted access to paradise, but really just keep looking out for the snake.

I am in a kind of calmness before the storm, at the same time hyper-aware of everything. I can't really explain why; just that it's there, a tingling sensation on my skin, a prickling feeling in the back of my skull. I think of the kindness Dr. Kersch has displayed towards me when he has left the ambulance car. I think of the first stars blinking high above my head when my inner clock told me it was only just noon. I think of the weird looks of the assistants when they saw Splinter's injuries and Donnie's face screaming "told you so" at me.

I think of the long drive in the neon orange car, of the nervous shifting, of the tight feeling in my chest. Of course we all insisted to come, as family members and -friends and anyways. I think about waiting in front of the OP, eyes cast down. Tobias called his mum. Michael didn't, and I didn't ask, and now I wish I knew how. I think about alarmingly little I know about the people I call my friends, even about those I thought I knew like my own mind.

I think about how I don't know myself.

The door behind us opens. It is inaudible, perfectly oiled, and still the expression on the faces around me is one of multiple alarm. But the nurse smiles reassuringly and holds the door open for us.

"He is still unconscious, but you can come in if you remain silent."

Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael are in the room faster than I can say "whoopsie". Leonardo remains in the hallway, standing next to me like a statue. He looks after his brothers with an emotion in his eyes that I can't identify. And I can't help but notice that Tobias didn't say anything about Leo back in the living room.

Speaking of Tobias and Michael, the two boys are also still in the hallway. We share a silent look and know that we won't disturb the small family reunion, not yet. But Leo should go, and I shoot him a worried sideways glance. He ignores it. And when I turn my eyes back to the couple on the opposing wall, something has changed. They are discussing something under their breath, Tobias looking insecure, Michael mildly amused. I am confused. What is going on all of a sudden? But before I can ask, Michael has grabbed his boyfriend's arm and pulled him away, further down the hallway, out of my line of hearing.

It's just Leo and me and a line of closed doors now.

Suddenly I wonder if they planned that.

"So", Leo breaks the silence and shifts from one foot to the other. On him, this nervous gesture looks as strange as a pink bear on the moon. Stupid comparison, but it's true. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm just being paranoid", I answer, matching his easy-going conversational tone. He looks at me fully, and I raise my eyebrows at him. (I've never been able to raise only one, and I strongly dislike everyone who can.) "The real question is, what is on _your _mind? What are you doing _out here_ when everyone else is _in there_?"

He shifts again, and I want to slap him for being totally out of character, but I don't.

"How could I explain it to them?"

He sounds totally weird. Like he actually means what he's saying. I look up at him again. Ooops. I guess he really _does _mean that.

"Trust me", I say slowly, "you're gonna have a lot more explaining to do when you stay out here for another two seconds."

He smiles at me, a shy yet grateful smile, and that confuses me even more. I stare at his back disappearing through the wooden door and wonder what reason exactly he has to be _grateful. _I didn't do anything. I'm so pathetic. I should have patted his back and said something really cool and helpful, some wisecrack, something uplifting. Anything but _get your sorry butt in there now._

I am brutally ripped out of my self-pity when Michael and Tobias return.

Boy. That was so totally planned!

***R*A*P*H***

Leonardo enters the room, and everyone turns a little. He just stands there for a moment, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other. For some reason that makes Raphael angry. There are some things Leo just won't do. Leo doesn't scream. Leo doesn't stab in the back. Leo doesn't ignore. Leo doesn't pace. And Leo does never, _ever, _shows his nervousness, especially not by _shifting._

He is about to say something, then stops. He doesn't know what exactly to say. Instead he takes a step to the left, making room for his older brother, and then drops into a nearby chair. The cushions are soft and comfortable. The room is lemon colored, but not in an unfriendly way. He wonders why that is. He's never been to a hospital before, but from what he read and from canon knowledge, hospitals aren't like this. They just aren't friendly and calming and _comfy._

He's too tired to really think about this further. The cushions are soft. His eyes slide closed and he's almost unaware of it.

_I've got dirt under my fingernails, _he thinks, and then he falls asleep.

***T*M*N*T***

Raphael is asleep in his chair. Mikey is propped up against the mattress, also in a chair that's standing next to the bed, and while Leo watches, his eyes close as well. Donnie is fighting it, the eldest can see it, but eventually he gives in, slumping onto the spare bed that's also in the room. He is gone before his head hits the pillow.

It is there in the room, with his "family" around him, asleep and strangely untroubled, that the blue-head for the first time feels truly _peaceful._

He sits down on the edge of the spare bed's mattress, cross-legged, and breathes deeply. They all sleep.

He will keep watch.


	21. Miscalculations

_Sorry for the long delay. Getting ready for my 18th birthday on Tuesday. But I'm still alive and writing new chapters. Here it is.

* * *

I try to be delicate_  
_Then crash right into it_  
_But my intentions are good_  
_Sometimes just misunderstood_  
_[Miley Cyrus - Nobody's perfect]_

_

* * *

_**Chapter 21 - Miscalculations  


* * *

**He does fall asleep after all, slumping forward on the end of the bed, head resting rather uncomfortably against the metal. The machines around him beep slowly, an electric, sizzling sound fills the air, but to him it seems strangely comforting. And then his eyes close and don't open again.

For an hour or so everyone in the room is asleep. Then somewhere down in the office a bell rings softly, and a blonde nurse in spotless white clothing comes upstairs. Her grey rubber shoes slap against the floor with each step and rip Liza, Tobias and Michael out of their lazy half-asleep state on the chairs in the hallway.

"Visiting time is over", she says with a small smile. "You can come back tomorrow at eight. Until then, I have to ask you to leave the building."

They share looks, each with their own thoughts, but with similar confusion shown on their faces. Liza softly knocks against the door of Splinter's room, and something moves inside. She opens the door slowly, peeking in through it cautiously. Before she enters to tell the boys they have to leave, she hears Tobias ask the nurse something.

"It's 10 p.m. now", the nurse answers, and a shudder is crawling down Liza's spine. Ten. They have spent a whole day without noticing anything. They haven't even eaten anything, and even though she _does _feel slightly nauseous, it isn't nearly half as bad as it _should _be to someone used to having food around all the time. It doesn't feel like 10 p.m. either. Rather like two in the afternoon.

"Guys", she calls out and is met by sleepy gazes from four sets of eyes. Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello are standing in a kind of defense, arms raised, even though their movements look rather clumsy compared to their normal natural grace. Leo just stares at her, his long blue hair ruffled and his expression confused.

Splinter remains as he is, still and unmoving, and Liza looks away before she can take in details.

They leave the building and step out into the warm summer night. The moon and stars shine brightly here, and the four brothers take their time to stare up at them, because New York's light pollution is so much worse than here, and they have rarely seen that many stars except for the farm house.

Liza can't help but think that it shouldn't be dark outside. It should be a sunny Sunday afternoon, and she should spend it with her friends at the local swimming pool. Not night. Not 10 p.m.

Maybe she's just paranoid.

Or maybe someone - some_thing - _is messing with their time line.

When another shudder crawls down her spine, it's not because of the cold.

***L*A*T*E*R***

They took two taxi back from the hospital, not talking on the way. After a brief good-night and the tiniest discussion about the rooms they have all gone to bed, each in their own room, with Raph simply crashing on the living room couch. Liza refuses to show them how much it bothers her. She remembers the last time they were here all too clearly; huddled together on mattresses in the living room, telling stories and laughing through the night. Now it seems that they don't even want to talk to each other.

Michael and Tobias have to leave, eventually, and she walks down the street with them a few metres in her need to escape the tense atmosphere of her own home. Everyone's nerves are blank. Michael even asks her if it is okay to just leave her alone. She smiles, trying to put as much gratitude as possible into the small movement of her lips, before she hugs them. "Go home. I have four ninja protectors around, I'll be fine."

They all know that exactly these "ninja protectors" are the reason Michael is asking in the first place. But they won't say it aloud. It'd make it more real, somehow.

They stay at the corner of the May's fence for another few moments, seemingly reluctant.

"I've been thinking, you know", Tobias says slowly, and Liza holds back her angry comment because it's not the red-head she's mad at. She doesn't even know who that is, exactly. No. That's not true. The one she wants to yell at is Ue. Instead, she urges her friend to continue. The night is getting chilly.

"Thinking about what?"

He looks at her then. The sharp white light of the street lanterns deepen the frown that's ceasing his brow, causing every line to stand out like black marker. "About how to get them back into their timeline", he answers.

Liza doesn't miss Michael's confused look, but before she can react, Tobias continues with his explanation.

"We need to get Usagi here."

She stares at him, unsure about what he's getting at. "What?"

Michael stares, too. "What the hell is an Usagi?" Lack of sleep and irritation make his voice sharper than usual, and he takes a deep breath, calming himself. Not for the first time Liza thinks that he is kind of like Leo in his behaviour.

Like Leo was.

She wonders if Michael ever had any kind of self-defense training.

"Usagi is a friend of Leo." Tobias gives the short explanation absently before continuing, facing the girl again. "I am not sure if they can solve this problem without him. Or, let's say there is a fight. Do you think- are you absolutely certain- that they don't need him to win? In the timeline we know, he is a mayor factor in their victory. Besides, he might have some valuable information. And he might just be able to snap Leo out of... whatever spell he's under."

When he says it like that, it sounds perfectly reasonable. When Liza thinks about it, it sounds only stupid.

"How are we supposed to get Usagi _here_?"

Her disbelief is plain in her voice, and he is taken aback, his motivation fading. Liza isn't done yet, though. "And now _you_ think about it. What it we could, somehow, open a portal. What good would that do? You think he'd just hop through and say 'Hey'? And if we went there, he'd never believe us." _Not that we'd live long enough to actually find out in his world. _"We don't know what's happening at his home. Without Leo there, what's gonna happen to Lord Noryuki-what's-he-called? And the giant snake guy and everything?"

Tobias looks at her in fresh horror. Michael looks at her as if she had lost her mind. And that's when she finds out.

_He doesn't know anything. _Realization sets in, hard, making her eyes go wide. _Gosh, Tobi, are you sure you know what you are getting yourself into?_

She stares at the red-head. Tobias stares back. They hold gazes for the fraction of a second, and suddenly Liza feels the time stretch out before her. She feels the second flatten, becoming a thin layer quivering with tension, before it _rips _and she snaps back into the present.

They go.

She looks after them.

Something is going to happen.

She has a bad feeling about this.

***T*M*N*T***

Donatello is pressing the pillow against his face, screaming into the thick layer of fabric and feathers until he runs out of air. He takes a deep breath. Buries his face again. Resumes screaming.

The buttons dig into his cheeks, leaving deep red marks like half-moons in his pale skin. His throat hurts. His eyes are prickling, squeezed shut. It's nothing compared to the agony, the endless agony he keeps locked within him, fed by self-hatred and fury.

His fingers cramp. Every muscle is sore. Even his hair seems to hurt. He doesn't have the willpower left to tell himself that this is impossible. He isn't doctor professor Donatello right now. He thinks this part of him might have died, dropped dead and gone without him noticing, without him being able to stop. Along with his happiness. Along with _them._

He screams again, muffled by the white soft fabric, pressing his nails into his palms, desperately searching for a release that won't wake up the others.

The pillow is wet.

Leo turns it around, presses it against his ears, crawls under the blanket to hide himself. It doesn't help. It doesn't change anything. He can still hear the cries, the agonized screams from the boy that calls himself his brother.

He doesn't know what to do about it, doesn't know what his place is in this world of horrors, and so he hides and closes his eyes and tries to ignore it. But he can't.

The pillow is wet.

***L*I*Z*A***

My thoughts are swirling in my head fast enough to make me feel dizzy. Maybe I should eat something now. Maybe I'll feel better then. Maybe once I've eaten I'll wake up and everything is normal and fine and it was just a weird dream, keeping me away from food so I won't escape.

Doesn't even make sense to_ me._

Ten steps from my door, from my fridge, from my bed.

Nine steps to the safety of my own room.

Eight steps, and my fingers search for the key in my pockets.

Seven steps, and I'm tensing.

Six steps. Something is there.

Five steps. Hurry up.

Four steps. Paranoia.

Three steps.

Two.

One.

Blackness.


	22. Monday Morning

_Hey, guys! Sorry I've been gone for so long. I am afraid it won't get much better in the future. I'm not having much time atm, what with my final exams going on 'til May and such. Sorry for that. Also I had this chapter all written out and ready to post and then suddenly it didn't seem appropiate anymore. I want to write so much more in this story, and right now it evolves into yet another "the guys stay two days fight and are gone" story. I don't want that. I hope you understand and enjoy the following chapters as it is. Thanks.

* * *

And a Voice told me:  
Smile and be merry, because it could be worse.  
And I smiled and was merry,  
And it came worse.

* * *

_**Chapter 22: Monday Morning  


* * *

**

***D*O*N*N*I*E***

When Donatello wakes up, he stays in bed for a few more moments without opening his eyes. A nice dream floats through the back of his mind, peaceful and quiet, but when he tries to have a better look at it, it slips and then it is gone and he is awake. He tries to go back to sleep then, reveling in the silence and in the fact that he is actually sleeping on his _back - _something he has never really done before- but it is no good. Finally, and not without reluctance, he opens his eyes and looks around.

The room is dark, but small beams of light travel through the shutter and reveal vague shapes and forms. The mattress is so soft. The room is nicely decorated, even though Donnie is sure no one lives here, and also clean and tidy. His own room is never tidy. Or maybe it is. He frowns when he realizes he hasn't entered his own room in a long time now. He always seems to be either at April's, in the main area, or in his lab.

Or in a dark abandoned bunker filled with ash and dirt and the cries of ...

A sharp pain lets him flinch. He stares at his right hand with a confusion close to incomprehension, where his nails have dug into his palms and formed four dark red half-moons.

He wonders if there will still be four marks if they ever get transformed back into their turtle selves again.

_When _they get transformed back. _When. _Not _if._

He shakes his head, shakes off the wild mixture of anguish and fear and gets out of bed.

***L*E*O*&*M*I*K*E*Y***

He is up early, that much he knows without looking at the clock. After a mental debate whether to get up or go back to sleep, he stretches his arms and legs and moves to open the window. His bare feet make no sound on the carpet, nothing breaks the silence, and so he winces when the shutter groans with every movement. But eventually it is lifted and the window is open, and a fresh breeze fills the room. He breathes in deeply, revelling in the smell of dew and green leaves.

Then he puts on the clothes from yesterday, in the lack of anything else, and moves to find ... anyone.

He doesn't have to search for long. Actually, he finds Michelangelo pretty fast, in the bathroom between their rooms, wearing nothing but boxer shorts and posing in front of the giant bathroom mirror.

"What are you doing?" he asks, rubbing his temples. He can feel the beginnings of a headache forming in the back of his skull.

The red-head doesn't appear startled in the slightest by his voice. Apparently he isn't as silent as he thought he was. But then again, his bare feet do make noise on stone and wood they haven't made on the carpet. The smacking of sticky sweat and soft flesh. He wonders why that seems odd to him, and a biologic information floats through his mind as if on cue- _reptiles don't sweat._ Then he blinks and the thought is gone.

"Looking at myself", Michelangelo answers and turns around, tensing the muscles of his arms. They stand out like violin strings, Leo notices, and quickly glances down to find the same bulky musculature on his own arms. Oh. He never really paid attention to that before. The other boy is now staring at his own shoulder blades, as good as possible without breaking his neck in the process.

"Yeah. I can see that." Leo decides not to wonder why this doesn't surprise him at all. Instead he enters the bathroom and splashes some cold water into his face. There is a bitter taste in his mouth. He decides he needs to brush his teeth, but before he can ask Michelangelo for teeth brushes, he is met with a request of his own.

"Pull off your shirt, will ya?"

Leo looks at him startled, a frown ceasing his brow. Water is dripping from his eye brows into his eyes and makes his hair sticky. What do you do with sticky hair? Why does he wonder about this? "What for?"

The red-head seems to be surprised by his question. "Because I can't see my own back. I want to see what my back looks like, and yours is just as good."

"Oh." That makes total logical sense. His headache increases, but he refrains from rubbing his temples again. It's not like that helps anyway. "Okay." He pulls off his shirt and lets the younger boy have a look at his muscles.

Mikey tails them with his fingers- his five thin fragile fingers!- and chuckles. "Cool beans, dude. Hey, you realized something?"

Leo turns and looks at him questioningly, with water still dripping down his face. "What exactly?" He realized a lot of things. For example that it doesn't feel wrong at all to stand around in here half-naked and posing in front of the other. Or that he is very hungry. And confused.

"I don't have freckles." Mikey runs his fingers down his cheeks and stares at his own reflexion for a moment. "I mean, I'm a redhead and have blue eyes and so I should have really white skin and freckles, right? Even April has that. But I don't. My skin is even darker than yours. I wonder why that is."

The older boy doesn't have an answer for that. But somehow Leo feels more comfortable in here with Michelangelo than he has been for the last four weeks.

***R*A*P*H***

Raph shifts, and the background doesn't shift with him.

This is very strange, because normally, his hammock swings with his movements and nullifies them. But before he can think about this further, he falls off the sofa and hits his head on the living room floor. Right. He isn't in his hammock at home. How strange that _now_, after sleeping in the dirt next to a racetrack on a foreign planet for days, he gets homesick while lying on the sofa at his friend's house.

"Ouch."

He stares up at the ceiling. It is white. Even with all this money and luxury, the May's Mansion's rooms seem cold and lifeless to Raphael. He wonders how Liza stands living here, all on her own, with no one to talk to. He could never deal with that. The thought alone makes the hair on his arms stand on end.

A deep growling sound has him jumping to his feet and reaching for his weapons. They aren't there. It is the first time he realizes it, and he almost panics. Where are his sai? He needs to defend himself! But after two hasty steps he stumbles and almost falls. Blood is rushing to his head and his vision blends into white for a second. He got up too fast. Also he feels strangely weak and defenseless. He doesn't like the feeling.

The growling returns, and he realizes that it comes from his own stomach. Oh. The memory of french toast and cheese steak drifts through his hazy brain. Did he actually eat any of that? He doesn't remember. Probably not. He decides to get some food then and makes his way to the kitchen. He hopes they won't have to grocery shop for something. He doesn't know much about Germany, or Europe in general, but he does know that on Sunday everything is shut down and closed. No one works on a Sunday.

Then he sees the calendar, with every day crossed out with red marker, and frowns. It's Monday. And a few days later, something is scribbled down with black ink.

_Ankunft Mama Flughafen D-Dorf 15:30_

He shakes his head and decides to decode that later. For now, food it is. He opens the fridge and is relieved to find ham and eggs and yoghurts and many things more.

With a sigh he cracks a few eggs into yesterday's pan (which is still standing on top of the stove) and turns on the heat. While he waits, he eats a vanilla yogurt and smiles. The smell of fried eggs and bacon fills the room and his stomach rumbles in response.

_Now this is how a day should start._

***T*M*N*T***

They all moved into the kitchen eventually, drawn there by the smell of bacon and eggs and hot chocolate. Now they are sitting in a semi-circle and inhale food while Raph watches them, smiling.

When the first hunger is stilled, Mikey has enough presence of mind to suggest they wake Liza up and offer her some, and with mutual agreement they get up and make their way to her room.

They all stop in front of the door, uncertain how to proceed. When waking someone at home, they usually just burst in or (when waking Raph) shout through the closed door until everyone is up. They aren't at home here, and Liza is a good friend, but just a friend, and a girl at that. Also they all remember just too well the first time they entered her room.

Eventually Leo steps forward and knocks softly.

"Liza? You up? Breakfast's ready."

They wait for a while, but when no reaction occurs whatsoever, Leo tries again. "Liza? Hey, Liz, can we come in?"

No reaction.

Raph strides past him then, a smile tugging at his lips. "Lemme through, fearless. I'm da lout of da family, rememba?" And he makes a move to just burst in while Leo frowns at his words. The blue-haired boy's headache increases further with every passing minute.

"Raph, wait." Donnie sounds very strange, and when the red-head turns, he sees that his brother blushed a bit. "You don't know how girls sleep. You know. She could be naked or wearing underwear or something. You can't just go in there and risk, like, walking in on her."

"Oh." They hadn't thought about that possibility before. In the Lair, everyone was naked all the time anyways. "Yeah." After another second's hesitation Raph shrugs. "Not my fault." He turns and runs right into the room, but he does keep his eyes firmly closed, just in case. "Morning Liza! Sorry ta burst in like dat, but we wondered if..."

His voice trails off and he stops. The room is too quiet. No sound can be heard. Not even breathing.

He opens his eyes.

The bed is empty and the blankets are seemingly untouched. The shutters are up, and clear yellow sunlight fills the scene and draws bright patches and patterns on the green carpet.

"Guys." Raph wonders why he suddenly has a lump in his throat. He swallows, coughs, and tries again. "Guys. She's not here. Seems like she hasn't been here all night."

The others fill in in silence. Suddenly they are very insecure. "Maybe she made her bed already and now .. umm... uses the facilities", Donnie suggests. He sounds uncomfortable. His own face is staring down on him from a bright big poster. Cartoon version, but still, his own face. "Let's have a look."

They all know it is highly doubtable that Liza slipped past them, but they cling on to the hope with determination. They need the girl. They don't know anything about that dimension. They don't even know the way to the hospital they keep Splinter in, let alone can they be sure to be let in without her. They don't know anything about being human either. And besides, Liza is their friend. Her being gone was... unpleasant, carefully said.

Check. Not in the bathrooms.

Check. Not in the other bedrooms.

Check. Not in any of the rooms of the second floor.

Check. Not in the living room, kitchen, bathrooms of the first floor.

Check. Not in the basement.

"I'm calling Tobi." Mikey sounds concerned, but not panicked. Not yet. "They are supposed to have seen her last." The boy's cellphone number is written down neatly on a yellow post-it and stuck to the phone. He dials and then waits. Tobias answers after the third ring, hissing angrily into the phone.

"Liza, ich bin in der Schule, kann das nicht warten?"

Mikey shrinks back a bit. He didn't understand much, but "Schule" is "school", that much he can tell. He totally forgot about that. Is it really Monday already? A bit sheepishly, he answers. "Umm, sorry, dude. This is Mikey. I was just wonderin', do ya know where the little Miss is? We can't find her."

There is a bit of silence at the other end of the line before Tobias' voice can be heard again. "No idea. She went with us just to the edge of the fence and then ran right back. Maybe she's still sleeping."

Mikey bites his lower lip. Suddenly he is nervous. "No way, dude. She isn't here. You sure she went right back? Do you have any idea where she might be?"

This time the answer came faster, more hurriedly. "Mikey, break's over. I can't talk now. I'll come over after school, at about two, okay? Look for her- she has to be somewhere. Besides, her teacher should be with you soon. She, too, has class today, you know."

"You gonna bring Michael, too?"

Mikey doesn't quite know himself why he asked that. Something about the tall boy with the deep brown hair is relaxing and reassuring. He resembles Leo in leader mode a lot. Having him here can only be good for them. But he is met with silence, a strange tense silence that goes on for seconds.

"No. No, I don't think so, Mike. I need to go now. See you later."

Tobias hangs up before Michelangelo can ask him about the sadness in his voice. All that's left is the dial tone, _beep beep beep beep beep, _and then, silence.


	23. Messages and News

_Love is the only fairytale  
That doesn't start with "Once upon a time"  
But ends with it.  
_

_

* * *

_**Chapter 23: Messages and News  


* * *

**

"I have a message for you."

Donatello turns fast enough to hit his head on the kitchen cupboard. Hard. What he sees through the tears of pain that shot into his eyes can be positively described as a Goddess.

Then his vision clears and he finds that the woman standing in front of him is actually Renet. Which, Don muses, is as close to a Goddess as can be, at least when one chooses from the ranks of friends and enemies he's had over the years.

She wears a tight dress that just about reaches to her knees. It's low-cut and fashionable, and so is her black hair which she holds out of her face with two long crystal-blue hair needles. In a way she looks as young and provocative as ever, but there is something different about her. It's her aura, he decides, but there's also something else. Like she put down her child-like behaviour, her thoughtless innocence and, yes, her lack of style as well, and grew up.

Whoever this woman is, she is not the Renet he got to know in the past. On the other hand, words like "past" don't exactly mean much in her presence.

"Donatello-san." Her voice is different, too. She seems to be... wiser, in a way, but not only from experience. She looks like one who has already seen too much. He is relieved to find a sparkle of the girl he knows in her unfathomable blue eyes; something that tells him she has not forgotten their friendship, and that she is here to do them a favour and help them. Right now, she also looks a bit annoyed. He tries to focus on her and fails.

"I have a message for you, Donatello-san. For you and your family. Can you gather them for me?"

He nods mechanically, and she turns to make room for him. He realizes that her dress isn't black, as he previously thought. When she moves, a pattern becomes visible, etched into the black cloth like wires burning with a crystal blue fire. It is the color of the time scepter, and before his eyes it forms into numbers, endless numbers that change and rearrange themselves, clocks and sand rinsing through glass, always changing until he is dizzy and stumbles. She watches him with a weary, but also slightly bemused expression and he thinks how odd it is that she is now older than her. Older and more authoritative.

He shakes his head and looks away, and then he goes to find his brothers.

***T*M*N*T***

Raphael and Michelangelo are sitting on the sofa, watching the door. Like Donatello, they have found out fast enough not to look at this new Renet for too long. Raph has his arms crossed in front of his chest while he glares daggers at invisible enemies. As far as he is concerned, Renet equals trouble, no matter how old she is or how little she does. Mikey is more relaxed, leaning back against the soft cushions. But he, too, stares at something that is just out of reach. He is worried about Liza, worried about Tobias, and worried in general, because as much as he likes her, Renet _does _mean trouble.

Donatello stands in front of the door. He is too restless to sit down, but too tense to walk around. When Leonardo walks in, he almost hits the purple-haired boy with the door. His face is apologetic, but also confused. It only adds to the tension in the room, which already seems fit for being cut with a knife. But before anyone can say anything, Renet starts to speak.

She stands in front of the giant magnet board Liza has set up yesterday- has it really only been one day? She seems to be oblivious to the theories that are scribbled down behind her, even though they are mainly about her and Ue and the time scepter. Leo eyes her wearily. He seems uncomfortable to stand in the middle of the room, and eventually he sits down in one of the armchairs and crosses his arms. Even though he matches Raph's pose, it looks totally different on him. A jolt of hope flares up in Mikey's chest when he sees Leo being as much himself as he hasn't been in a long time.

"I have a message for you all."

Donnie can't help but roll his eyes at this point. He wishes she'd just say what she wants to say instead of keeping them in suspense like that.

"A young woman called Liza May gave to me the task of conveying a list to you." She holds up a hand to silence the various noises of surprise before she continues.

"Point One. _Get Master Splinter and find Tobias and Michael.  
_Point Two. _Open a portal and find Usagi Myamoto. Bring him here.  
_Point Three. _Defeat the Ultimate Draco and retrieve the time scepter and war staff.  
_Point Four. _Answer with "yes"._

Oh, and she told me to thank you for the roses."_  
_

There is a long silence after Renet finishes, during which each of them tries to collect their thoughts. Mikey is the first one to speak, even though it sounds like he's talking to himself when he says, "What does she mean with roses?"

Now all eyes are on him, mystified and troubled. His shoulders slump and he sinks into the cushions. Eventually, Raph shakes his head as if to clear it and turns back to the magnet board. "Fo'gett all dis. Where _is _da girl?"

But at that point Renet is already gone. The only evidence she left behind is a scrap of paper that holds the four points of the list, the address of the hospital and several notes, some of them seemingly random. It is Liza's handwriting. No one dares to touch the paper.

***T*M*N*T***

Eventually, Leo stands up and opens the drawer that holds the phone book. "Mikey, go get the phone for me", he says while he flicks through the pages. For some lucky reason, there is a taxi company to be found under "T", but when he looks up, his brother hasn't moved. He just sits where he was, chewing on his fingernails.

Leo sighs. It is a small and exasperated sound, something he only does when he is at a loss and too tired to argue. "Raph? Can you get it for me?"

The addressed boy looks up at him. His amber eyes are blazing with something close to fury, but he too is tired and lost, and so all he does is snort. "Oh, now we're back to old form, _fearless_? I bet you don't even know what's going on here." He stands up then and walks over to where Leonardo is still standing. It looks almost menacing, even though his voice is flat and calm. "How come ya t'ink ya can boss us 'round, pretty boy?"

His older brother holds his ground and glares right back, but his shoulders slump and his fingers tremble ever so slightly. His voice is almost inaudible, but it couldn't have a bigger effect had he screamed his words.

"I remember everything now, Raph. Everything. I am so sorry." The last words are merely a whisper, but he holds Raph's eyes, and the redhead can see that it is true and that Leo means it.

Then an orange blur washes past him and Leo finds himself in Mikey's tight embrace, followed by Don's. And because this is a crisis, and they need to work as a team, and yes, also because he is so relieved to have his big brother back, Raph joins them. They stand like that for a few minutes, whispering chaotic and meaningless syllables into each other's ears, happy to be re-united and wondering why and not really caring about it at all. Then Mikey gets the phone and they start their journey to get Master Splinter and find out what's going on.

***T*M*N*T***

It has been surprisingly easy to hire a German taxi and find the clinic, made even stranger by their unhindered way to the third floor and to Splinter's room. The biggest surprise, however, awaits them when they peek into the chamber and find their father sitting in bed and eating lunch. He looks up then, almost as if he senses their presence, and his nose wrinkles just a bit- an old habit from being a rat for eighteen years, they suppose.

A new heap of embraced bodies is formed, on the bed this time, until Splinter demands them to let go of his legs and sit down. He listens carefully to what has happened so far, frowning now and then, but he lets them finish until he asks his first questions. They are old enough to refrain from asking something themselves, and it is clear that their Sensei doesn't want to talk about it. What they _do _is admire the new skin that has grown over his wounds seemingly overnight. It is brighter than the rest of his skin, softer and less freckled. They don't word their suspicion about this, and they don't have to, because they all feel the same.

The unease is growing. When Leo asks Splinter to stay here while they go and find out what's happening, and he refuses, they are secretly relieved that they don't have to go alone. They watch in silence while their father gets out of bed, help him into the fresh clothes that have been laid out for him on the bed, and then they leave. This, too, is too easy to be right. They just walk out of the hospital. They all wonder if this is going to have any consequences for Liza's family, but Leo has the sneaking suspicion it won't. Everything is just going too well. And he has a very good idea of who is responsible for this.

They walk in silence for a while. Splinter seems to be uncomfortable in his shoes, so is Raph, and Mikey's pants are itching. Walking around in public is strange enough for them; using clothes is worse. It's the full-on dress code clothes they have now, with underwear and socks and everything, that gives them a hard time. This can hardly be compared to sweaters or coats or wide baggy pants.

"Dudes? Where are we going, exactly?"

It's Mikey who finally asks the question that makes them stop. They are somewhere outside the city, not too far away from the suburbs, but not too close either. And it is a big city. There is no way they can just walk along like this and find what they are looking for. They don't even know what they are looking for exactly. Donnie, who always has an idea when the others don't, looks at the sun and then at the church clock that's looming over the houses to the right.

"We go see Tobias", he says.

That is another problem, because they have no idea where the boy lives exactly. Again, it's Mikey who solves it. He discoveres a scrap of paper in his pockets- the piece with Tobias and Michael's cell phone numbers- and it also has an address on it. This has to be the new apartment they are planning to move into. Splinter is genuinely surprised to hear that Michael, the boy who helped him when he came to this dimension, is in fact the boyfriend of Liza's best friend. He has to admit that the thought of a homosexual couple in his sons' circle of friends had filled him with a certain unease before, but although that feeling hasn't completely disappeared, he can now identify it as the simple fear of the unknown rather than a dislike of the boys themselves.

The ride to Tobias and Michael's new apartment isn't long, and they spend it mostly in silence. There is still a lot for each of them to take in, and they use the short break to think about it further.

Once they have arrived at the location and paid the driver, the right apartment isn't hard to find. The door is unhinged and leads to a building site- half-built walls and windows altered only by ripped-off wallpaper. To their surprise no construction workers are around. The work seems to be shelved, at least for today. Mikey is the only one who is really worried, because he suddenly remembers his talk with Tobias; the others are just curious. There are only four rooms- a short corridor, a bathroom, a kitchen and a living room which will also be the bedroom. The walls are mostly ripped apart because all the windows need to be renewed. It looks abandoned and, well, empty.

They find Michael in the living room, sitting on the window-sill and staring out onto the streets. He turns when he hears them enter, and for a moment a strange happiness lights up his features. Then he recognizes and the expression falters. Mikey's worry grows worse.

"Michael", Leo says and smiles carefully. "Sorry for intruding. We were looking for you. Are you..." He hesitates for a second. "Are you all right?"

The boy's answering smile is sad and it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Forgive me. But I really am not in the mood to talk to you right now."

He walks past them before any of them can react, clearly attempting to leave the building. Only when he reaches the door, Donnie finds his tongue.

"Michael. Wait. Where is Tobias?"

The boy stops with his hand already on the door knob. He doesn't turn when he answers, but his words are clearly audible, and the hard set of his shoulders is tale-telling.

"I have no idea." He says. "Didn't he tell you yet? We broke up."


	24. Enough is Enough

_What can I say? It seems my life has to be seriously messed up (and my room especially untidy) to let my creative juices flow...

* * *

__Do you feel, do you feel me, do you feel what I feel too  
Do you need, do you need me, do you need me?  
You're so beautiful, but that's not why I love you_  
_I'm not sure you know that the reason I love you  
Is you being you, just you, yeah the reason I love you  
Is all that we've been through, and that's why I love you  
[Avril Lavigne- I love you]

* * *

_**Chapter 24- Enough is Enough  


* * *

**"What do you mean, you broke up?"

Suddenly the room feels very cold to them, even though the summer sun is blazing through the open walls and the air is dry. Mikey's mind is blank. Something has just stopped to make sense here. He is vaguely aware that he continues to talk, but he can't even concentrate on his own voice.

"How can you just leave Tobias in a situation like this?"

Situation like this? What kind of situation anyway? Tobias doesn't know about anything yet, and thus, neither does Michael. Shell, they don't even know themselves what exactly is going on here! But still, the fact remains that they have been in trouble with Leo and their father and that the boy in front of them chose exactly this moment to just push them all away and leave. And this is nothing Mikey will accept easily. For all he knows, Michael and Tobias have been a couple for three years now. You don't just throw away three years because you feel like it. Something was seriously wrong.

"_He _broke up with _you, _didn't he."

Leo's voice is calm and even, but he could have as well screamed. When the others turn, he stands in front of the wall near the window where Michael had been sitting earlier. He is looking at something at the wall. It seems something is scratched into the paint, even though from their position, Raph and Mikey can't be too sure. The eldest reaches out to brush over the marks, and that's when Michael's voice breaks the sudden silence.

"Don't touch that", he says and doesn't even try to keep the tremble out of his voice. "Don't _fucking _touch that, _jerk._"

Splinter's eyes narrow in disappointment at the chosen language, but he remains silent even as Raphael's gaze snaps back to the boy's face and he growls. It is a low, dangerous sound, breaking free through his clenched teeth before he whispers, "What did you just call my brother?" His voice is sharp. Donnie wonders distinctly why his older brother is reacting this way just because someone called Leo a jerk- they have been called worse, and definitely done worse to. Maybe it's the sudden tension, maybe the sudden violent turns their lives have recently taken that's taking its toll on the hothead. He stops thinking and starts pinning his brother's arms against his body when the redhead suddenly reaches out to grab Michael. "Raph. Raph, _stop it._"

Michael doesn't even flinch. He just stands there, staring at them. His eyes are blazing with a fury that is smoldering right below the surface. Nothing is left of his normal calmness, as if it had all been burned away by a sudden fire that is still there, raging just out of reach.

"I want you to leave."

And suddenly Raph's shoulders slump and Donnie lets him go. "Fine." He says, and the defeat in his voice is barely concealed by the way he clenches his fists in helpless anger. This is, after all, Michael's home and they can't risk anything right now. Leo, who froze at the boy's words, rubs his neck in a sheepish gesture, but his thoughts are running wild. This was not the way it should be. And Michael's reaction had only showed him that he was right, that it had indeed been Tobias who had ended the relationship and not the other way around.

And that's not right; it is in fact wrong enough to cause him another headache. Because he remembers clear as day the first time they have met on that fateful day when Liza had disappeared for the first time. Kidnapped by Niklas and his street gang, possibly hurt, and their only lead had been the redhead they barely knew back then. He had come stumbling in, severly injured, and after he had collapsed on the sofa, his life story had been pouring out of him like the blood that covered his cloth.

_"I was out in town with my little brother, Noah. We ran into Niklas' street gang and got into a fight... Michael saw what happened. He fought them off. I've never seen anything like it. But it was too late... He helped me a lot afterwards, calming me down, trying to convince me to go to the police, tell someone. I refused. I was afraid... We've never been close, my parents and I, and I guess they blamed me for what happened. They were right, of course. But Micha... He was always there. Always holding my hand when it got tough. I guess that's why I love him. We went through a lot together, and I can only hope I'll be able to repay him someday."_

_Nice way to repay him,_ Leo thinks not without bitterness. But that is the point. Why of all times would Tobias leave his boyfriend _now?_

"You are coming with us." He says, putting on his best leader voice, one that doesn't even _consider_ protest, and that's why none comes. Even Splinter, though raising his eyebrows at his eldest son, remains silent. Maybe this is it, he only thinks to himself, the time where his son has to show everyone including himself that he can indeed make the right decisions on his own, and as a father it is his duty to at least give Leonardo a chance.

And said Leonardo grabs Michael's hand in an unceremonious gesture and half-carries him out the door and down the stairs. Only when they arrive at the door that's leading out to the streets, the taller boy frees himself from Leo's grip and takes a step back, only to bump into Mikey and freeze.

"What do you want from me? Don't you think you've already interfered enough?"

His voice is strangely high-pitched, and not without shock they realize that the normally so calm boy is close to breaking into tears. Mikey barely resists the urge to give Michael's shoulders a warm squeeze, and they all stand there a bit sheepishly until Leo says: "No, we haven't. Not yet. We'll set this right and maybe _then _we'll have interfered enough, but we'll see about that." He holds the glass doors open for them to walk through. When no one moves, he frowns.

"Michael, I understand that you are hurt and possibly angry, but right now I can't spare your feelings, because right now I need both of you. So come on and get out. We'll call a taxi and you'll tell us where Tobias lives." He almost says _that is an order, _Raph feels him biting it back with force. In any other situation he would have laughed.

For a long second everyone remains standing where he is, and they think that Michael will just say No and leave them. But when the tall boy finally opens his mouth, all he says is "I can drive. The car is right there around the corner." And next to the defeat that's keeping his voice small, Donnie thinks he also hears the smallest bit of relief.

Michael really can drive. After they have all filed in- not without difficulties, because the dark blue car is a whole lot smaller than the American automobiles they are used to, but somehow they manage. Donnie eyes the manual gearbox with interest, especially when Michael starts the motor and shifts the lever into first gear and then into second. But he, too remains silent. This is a special situation and it requires special measurments.

The drive to Tobias' home is not long, but it seems to stretch in the silence that fills the car. When they are finally there and stop in front of one of the terraced houses they are all relieved, especially Splinter who has been penned in between Mikey, Raph and Leo in the backseat. Michael is the only one who remains in the car, staring at the steering wheel like a portal into another dimension. And that is when Raph rips his door open, roughly grabs the older boy by the shoulders and maneuvers him to the front door before he presses the bell-push.

It's Tobias who opens and he has obviously just stopped crying.

When he sees them standing there, his blood-shot eyes go wide and he immediately tries to close the door again, but Leo already has his foot in the doorframe and so the red-head has no choice but to stay and stare at them.

For a long moment, no one speaks.

Then Tobias' lower lip starts to quiver, and he averts his eyes, staring intensely at the stone plates covering the steps in front of him. He doesn't overlook the tiny movement of Michael's arms, almost as if he wanted to embrace his friend and then thinks better of it. That's when he looks up again and then, without further ceremony, throws himself into Michael's arms. The taller boy is seemingly shocked for a moment, but when Tobias starts crying- and he _really _does, sobbing and hick-upping and shirt-clinging all inclusive- he embraces him tightly and starts to whisper softly into the younger boy's ear.

The Hamato family stays where they are, looking at the white walls and the accurate flower pots in obvious embarassment, but there is this tiny smile in the corners of Mikey's mouth and the look of apprehension in Splinter's eyes and so maybe it will all be all right.

Yeah. Maybe it will.


	25. In Which She Chooses

_Recommending to read Mikell's latest story, Splintered Hearts, now. It is beautiful and sad and for some reason already over. I cherished every single word. Now, on with this chapter._

* * *

_Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  
[Dorothy Bernard]_

* * *

**Chapter 25: In Which She Chooses  
**

* * *

The empty whiteness had been bright enough to hurt her eyes at the beginning. By now she is used to it.

White walls. White floor, white ceiling, white doors invisible to those that have not searched for them hours and hours until their bloody fingertips left dark marks on the hinges. Even now she can't be sure where the walls end and the ceiling starts, and she would feel positively like floating if it weren't for the hollow heaviness of her limbs dragging her down. For she is tired, so tired, but at the same time the emptiness of her own blank mind is keeping her awake. Blank as the walls surrounding her. Blank as her voice that has long since lost the ability to produce sound.

The only thing that's left is the fear at the borders of her abused mind, the fear stretching her thin black tentacles, reaching out for her, causing her to slip. She won't give in to the fear. She has done that for some time, she does not know how long ago exactly, but she has given in to it and the white bandages wrapped around her hands are proof. That's why she can't give in anymore. The fear is turning her into a white stick figure, white as the walls, white as the time passing by without meaning.

Nothing has a meaning in this room.

She is turning into nothing.

A bandaged hand reaches up to her head, to run through dark red hair that is no longer there. When she rubs her fingers together, it almost feels real. When she closes her eyes, it is real enough for her. But closing her eyes means sinking into darkness. And darkness means fear. Her fingertips brush naked skin on the top of her skull and she flinches away as if it had burnt her.

Stares at her fingers and does not know if they are disappearing because of her blurry tears or if she really is dissolving now. She doesn't really care either way.

Nothing has a meaning in this room.

A flicker attracts her attention, a flicker of something weird that she can't place at first. It appears again then, a form flinching and shuddering and reforming fast and seemingly without a purpose. Something is off about this thing, this flame dancing through the air. She can't put a finger on it at first, until a word comes flitting through the blank of her mind, scurrying past her eyes and finally making sense.

It is blue. There is blue fire in the room.

For another moment she just sits there and stares at the small miracle forming in front of her. Blue fire. Colors. Then she reaches out for the flame.

It parts before she can touch it, splitting up into two flames that are dancing in a circle around each other. Her brow furrows with frustrated concentration. This time she slaps at it, clasping both hands together as if to catch a firefly in them. The flame runs through her fingers like blue water and parts again. She doesn't feel anything, but when she looks at her hands, the bandages have turned black and scorched and burned away at the palms. Another color. Black, fear-black, sleep-black. She balls her hands to fists and returns to staring at the flames.

A figure appears.

One second there is nothing but blue fire dancing in circles and spirals, the next second someone is standing there and the fire is gone. Maybe it has been more than a few seconds. She has lost every feeling for time while in here. Maybe it has been days. In any case the person's appearance is enough to wash away every thought that has still been hers. It even washes away the fear. She can't think about it enough to feel thankful.

It is almost too much to take in at once. Black clothing, dark enough to swallow light and radiate a grey shimmer. Blue signs flittering back and forth with every movement, signs that she thinks she could dechiffre if only she had the time. Dark hair with a touch of brown she is sure she never would have noticed if she hadn't been in the void for so long. Silvery chains glinting on milky skin. And eyes colored dark blue like the sky right before darkness falls. Her favorite color. They are filled with pity, painting dark lines around the iris. Pity. Of all things she might need to see. She stares at that face for endless moments. There is a name to the face. She can't remember.

"I am so sorry."

The sudden voice, the sound coming from this person after eternities of drowning silence, is enough to make her jolt. She feels a joint in her left shoulder pop, but she doesn't feel the pain. She is beyond pain. The voice is too loud, pressing against her ears, and suddenly the buzzing hum is back that she has learned to ignore- the loudest sound of all, the sound of nothing. She wants to cry out then, but she doesn't know how anymore. Instead she just stares at the new torturer, the one who destroyed her last defenses with one sweep. The face with a name.

What was her own name again?

Blue eyes meet her own.

"Tara... I hope you can forgive me some day." The voice is back, softer this time, less violent in her eyes. It makes the bitter laugh that follows all that much worse. "Although of course I know you won't, will you?"

She is confused. Tara sounds like a name, but she is pretty sure that it's not her own. She has her own name. What was her name again? Turtles. Lizards. Liza. Why does she think of turtles now? She feels like laughing but is not sure she could. Her name is Liza. And this person in front of her is Renet.

Of course it is.

And her brain starts to work again, immediately flooding her with information. Pictures in colors too brilliant to remain even in her memory. Sounds, an endless row of sounds, sounds she could produce if she knew how to will her body to do so. Names and faces. So many faces. So many alert signs. So many question marks. Questions that need to be answered, and still her throat won't work. She swallows thickly and hot air rubs over the raw, dry skin of her mouth. She hasn't seen water in too long. She doesn't know how she can still be alive like that. Maybe she isn't. One more question she can't ask.

It is answered anyway.

"He will kill you." Renet comes closer and looks down on her. When did she sit down on the floor? Maybe Renet is really floating in the white empty air. She couldn't tell. The words have a hard time getting through to her rusty brain, but they too settle eventually. He will kill her. The man who brought her here, the man who shoved her from absolute darkness into brilliant light and left her to rot. He will kill her, the Ultimate Ninja, the Daimyo's son, the half-bred dragon, the merged monster. For being at the wrong place at the wrong time he will kill her.

The thought hurts, but it doesn't surprise her anymore.

"It is my fault, you know." Renet comes closer, the tips of her glossy black shoes almost touching the girl's thin knees, before she sits down in front of her. Everything about her appearance is too shiny, too neat to be in a place like this, in this single cell with the dissolving stick figure she feels she is. She tries to concentrate solely on the voice, but it only makes it all that louder, all that much more violent, and she gives up quickly. "It is my fault you are here now. I told him the person he is looking for is you."

Renet sighs then, a small sound unworthy of the Time Mistress she is supposed to be, humanoid as she might look like. Tara doesn't care about the woman's feelings. She doesn't care about her ideas, not about her looks, all she wants to finally understand is why she has to be here.

"You are the right person, you know. You are the girl with enough magical potential to become a goddess when the time is due. You are powerful enough to put the wielder of time scepter and war staff in his place with the sweep of your little finger." Renet laughs again, the same harsh and bitter sound from before, the same meaningless echo reflecting from the walls. "That's what I told him, and it is the truth, because he can see through lies like glass and the Time Mistress can't lie anyway." A short break, long enough to take a breath. She has abandoned breathing long ago. Something inside her is slowly turning into ice. "Some Master of Time I am. Whatever. I told him the truth, you are the right person. What I didn't tell him is that you are from the wrong dimension. And that's why he will kill you. Why he has to kill you."

She stares at Renet in a state of pure disbelief. Why does she have to listen to all this? What is the purpose of knowing that escape is here, inches from here, and she won't be saved because some other girl in another dimension has to live? She'd rather she wouldn't know, now that she does. Seeing her last hope flaring up and being smashed to pieces is more than she can handle. More than she ever thought of having to endure. Even after hours and days of waiting in this cell she had still somewhat believed she'd be saved by someone, anyone, really. Now she knows that she won't be, and she doesn't understand why.

"You need to play the part." Renet locks eyes with her, and for a moment all that is are these blue eyes, the universe, the endless space and the mass of every being that has ever been and ever will be combined in one person. For this split second Liza understands that there is so much more Renet has to take care of, that maybe she doesn't count that much after all, that sometimes a sacrifice has to be made. The second passes and leaves her lonely and dizzy.

"You need to play the part and buy us time. The boys and I will make this right, all we need is a distraction. Ue can see many things, but being in this dimension weekens his powers. Play Tara's part, Liza, and help me save this. I don't need you to forgive me. I just need you to help."

There is no plead in Renet's voice when she speaks, only facts, calmly presented to her on a silver tablet. Your choice. Take the key and walk out of here, risking to lose everything in the process. Or press the red button and the bomb detonates right at the enemy's headquarters. But that's where you are.

More pictures flood her mind, and she barely has time to realize that it is not her own brain sending them before she has to close her eyes in order to not throw up. Pictures of the future in everything that could happen. Pictures of fighting and of dying and of never knowing what has happened. Empty black pages. Human beings can see whatever happens during their lifetimes. Not less. Not more.

"I want you to bring them a message." Her fingertips are hovering above the red button now, brushing the smooth surface. Her mind knows no bandages. "I want you to tell them something from me. Promise me, woman-that-can't-lie." Everything that she knows. Everything she has watched over and over again, everything about the Battle Nexus, everything they need to survive. And underneath it all, a single picture stuck to her mind. A group of people standing around a grave. The sun shines. One of them carries red roses in his arms, and a few petals trail down to touch the grass. A boy she might have come to love eventually. Friendships she will never forget as long as she lives, however long that may be.

Renet looks at her for a long time before she nods. "I will deliver the message. Anything else?"

The button feels polished under her fingers, sending tingling sensations up her arms and raising the fine hair in her neck. The one way to go. The one step to take for the sake of the world.

"Will it hurt?"

Renet tilts her head, only the fraction of an inch, studying her like a very interesting specimen.

"Would it make any difference?"

She grabs the dark arms of the fear creeping into her mind and pulls it into the light. Looks at it front and back, up and down, studies its form, the way it shifts and changes and stares back at her with empty eyes. Takes a deep breath. Arranges herself and makes her peace.

"I guess not."

She pushes the button.

The next time she opens her eyes, the room is empty.


	26. Truth Or Dare

_Did I ever tell you how wonderful you guys are and how glad I am that you stick with Liza? I probably did. But it doesn't make it less true. Doomo arigato.  
I blame you, dear readers, for everything that happens in the next couple of chapters. It absolutely wasn't planned this way. But sometimes life doesn't go as planned, right? So whatever curses you might want to throw at me in the future, remember- it's your own fault.  
_

* * *

_And I wanna believe you  
When you tell me that it'll be okay  
Yeah, I wanna believe you  
But I don't  
[Avril Lavigne - Tomorrow]_

* * *

**Chapter 26- Truth Or Dare  
**

* * *

_This matter is far from worked out._

Splinter's brow furrows when he notices the strange expression in Michael's brown eyes. There is something... _strangled _to it, a strain in the set of his mouth that he desperately tries to stop from creeping into the words he so frantically whispers. The ninja fears that if the boys don't get time to talk about the issue soon, Michael might choke on it. Yet at the same time there is no time to lose. What to do?

He makes a decision. They will never be able to achieve anything- let alone fight someone as dangerous as the Ultimate Draco- if they aren't united from within the team. The smallest frown ripples over his forehead like water and the plan solidifies. He turns his upper body, but his eyes never leave the young couple on the stairs. It is enough to alert his sons who immediately shift the focus of their attention from said boys to their father.

"Our time is limited", Splinter says slowly, just loud enough to gain Tobias and Michael's attention as well. They look up, giving him the smallest glance. It is enough for the old master. "We need to find a calm, secluded area to summon a portal and find Myamoto-san. We need to send someone in to find him, and we need to gather more information about the whole situation altogether- however", he raises his voice and a hand along with it when tension ripples through his audience, "and maybe most importantly so, you two need to talk." He nods into Michael's direction. There is something dark in the young man's eyes that hasn't been there before. Splinter vaguely suspects it has to do with Usagi, but he can't think of a concrete reason.

"If it is no bother to you, Tobias, I would like Michelangelo to..."

He is interrupted by the redhead who finally lets go of his friend's shirt and straightens up. "Please, don't go." He wipes his eyes rather hastily and suddenly looks very embarrassed. "It would be a pleasure to have you all as my guests. We have a room down in the basement that's mostly empty right now, you can just use that and do whatever while we wait and maybe get something to eat." He doesn't have to tell them that the empty room used to be his own; it is emminent in his voice and the sideways glance at Michael. "Just... if you'd like that..."

Michael's face is chiseled in stone. He doesn't respond. Splinter gives him a few more seconds before the atmosphere becomes too tense to remain comfortable before he answers with a short inclination of the head. "We would like that very much. Thank you, Tobias. You have been nothing but kind to us."

He can't be too sure, but he thinks he hears Michael snort before Tobias leads them in. The sound sends a shiver travelling up and down his spine. Talking seems like a very good idea right now and he is glad that he chose to stay.

The room they enter is small and littered with jackets, shoes of all sizes and toys, carelessly dropped and forgotten here. It is obvious that no visitors were expected, but as it is, it gives the place a homey feeling. Their own shoes look strangely in order, standing in one row against the wall. When he thinks no one looks, Mikey pushes against his own with his toe, just hard enough to disturb the straight line of black. It doesn't do much. Even the color seems inappropriate in these colorful surroundings. The walls are painted a soft yellow which reflects the light falling in through the door windows. The floor is a light wood, soft underneath their socks as they pad along behind Tobias and Michael through the hallway and past a kitchen into the living room.

It is nice to be in a normal-sized house for a change. It is also very strange and unfamiliar. April and Casey at home both live in apartments which sure are big enough to live and (in April's case) nicely decorated, but they are no house. They are, more importantly, no home to a family. The Lair is nothing for a comparison, because when it comes to room, it can hold its ground against the May's Mansion. While he tries not to step on any of the small toy cars and barbies that cover every inch of free ground, Splinter is strongly reminded of the way their first Lair looked like when his sons were still young. He smiles at the memory.

An open doorway leads into a living room of notable size. A giant dark sofa fills the center of the room, contrasting nicely with its surroundings. The walls are painted either bright white or deep red, even though the white shows signs of usage near ground and some faint splatters of red confirm that they have been painted by the inhabitants of the house. A TV stands propped up against one wall, facing the sofa. Pictures are hung up all around the room- photographs of two boys and two girls at different ages, with school bags and bright smiles. The youngest girl is still very small, with puffy red cheeks and black hair framing her light skin and dark eyes. She has to be the owner of the mayority of the toys that are lying around in the living room as well. Splinter notices with mild interest that Tobias is the only sibling with red hair; all the other children's hair is black. Black and shiny as their mother's, as a family picture confirms, while Tobias has his father's red and rather scrubby hair.

The boy clears his throat, trying to fight down his nervousity. He quickly scoops up some of the toys and clothes that cover the sofa, dropping his armload onto a chair that somehow must have found its way from the kitchen to the living room. "Umm, make yourself at home, I guess. And sorry for the mess, I wasn't expecting anyone..." Not quite meeting Michael's eyes, he gathers more things onto his arms until a hand on his shoulder stops him. When he looks up, he is met by an amused twinkling in the other boy's eyes. "Geeze, man. Sit down. Relax."

Tobias smiles nervously and drops what he's holding before scurrying past Michael and joining the Hamato family in front of the picture wall. He points at the youngest girl. "That's Charley, she's the youngest in the family, two years old now. Mum and dad are visiting my grandma right now, they have her with 'em, but as you can see, her presence is all-consuming..." He smiles softly, pointing at the loaded chair before moving on to the next picture. Another girl is smiling down at them, with the same long, black hair but brighter eyes. She was beautiful even at her young age, long legs and full lips that curv up when she smiles like on the picture. Splinter notices the family resemblance to Tobias in her, and the thought makes him smile back at her for a reason.

"That's Becca", Tobias explains. "She's ten now and totally annoying." His tone tells a different story, but no one objects. "In fact, she is upstairs right now, doing her homework. With which I was supposed to help her, so you might just meet her in a few when she comes to whine." His voice never lost its loving tone even as he spoke the words. There was an absent smile on his face before he went on, pointing at the next picture, and suddenly there was an uneasy silence in the room. It showed a young boy with dark, but scrubby hair and dark brown eyes, smiling into the camera. He had a teddy bear in his arms and very bright skin, dotted with freckles around his nose. "That's Noah", Tobias said quietly, even though everyone knew anyway. "He's my little brother and he is... He would be thirteen now. Umm..." He wiped his hands on his shirt, fidgeting with the cloth before nodding at the next picture. "And that's me, of course, when I was younger. The photo is pretty stupid. Anyway, who's in for some hot chocolate?"

It is Leo who interrupts them, especially Mikey, when he raises his voice. "No offense," he says and his lips are a tight line in his face. "But I think there are more important things to do." He turns, takes the room in with one last intake of breath, one last spin, drinks in the normalty and the colorful calm before he continues. "You'd really help us if you could show us this empty room downstairs you think we can use. And then I think you two need to talk."

Had it been his brothers, it would have been a command. _Talk. Now_. As it is, Michael's hands curl into fists in his lap, and he sinks deeper into the couch cushions while Tobias' face is drained from what little color it held. Nonetheless he waves a hand for them to follow him, and follow him they do. Back through the cramped hallway that suddenly doesn't seem homey anymore, but like a really bad escape route. Down the staircase to the left, down, down past babyblue walls until they reach solid ground again. It smells of washing machines and dust. Basement smell. Tobias' smell, still lingering in the air when they enter what once was his and now is nothing but a bet without mattress and a wooden desk against the wall.

"Here we go", the redhead says and stops in his tracks. He sounds nervous, though Splinter isn't sure about the reason exactly- the portal opening in his house? Or the talk to his boyfriend? He scurries out before the older man can make sure, closes the door and cuts them off from what's out there.

"Man, there's some serious bullshit goin' on." Raph looks after him, confusion hidden beneath the angry mask he usually puts on when he is insecure. It is surprising how similar the human expression is to his turtle face. "Language, Raphael", Splinter and Leonardo say in unison and automatically, which is why no one reacts to it. They stand for a few seconds in silence before Mikey says, "How are we gonna open..."

The door opens again, Tobias stands in the doorway, red dots appearing on his cheeks as he breathes in deeply and hurries out his words. "Here's some chalk, sorry, I totally forgot about that stuff, and I don't know if you might need this but I brought it just in case seeing as Usagi's home world is pretty dangerous so if you want it just keep it we got plenty and..." He stops here to take another breath, but the chalk and the giant kitchen knife he is holding in his hands are finishing the story for him. "Thanks, man", Donnie says and takes the white chalk. His hands hesitate over the knife, and Raph makes it short and takes it. Tobias bows, actually _bows _in his haste before the door is closed again. His steps are heavy up the stairs.

"Someone's in a _hur-ry_", Mikey sings and grins widely. Donnie nods his appreciation. "I hope whatever happens, they can sort it out. Anything else would be a shame." He hands Leo the chalk and the eldest starts to draw symbols on the wall, symbols a friend taught him a long time ago, his brow furrowed in concentration as he wills his five slender fingers to obey his mind.

In that moment, Splinter is filled with a nameless, great pride for his sons.

..*..*..*..

"So?"

Michael's voice is sharper than intended, and he flinches himself along with Tobias who just came back into the room. But he isn't ready to apologize for anything yet. Instead he crosses his arms over his chest and waits, glaring daggers at the wall, the ceiling light, the windows. Tobias takes a seat in the only armchair, right in front of him, and takes a deep breath. "So."

Michael leans closer to him, he can't help it. "Will you finally explain to me what the hell is going on? Or just kick me out again?"

_I never kicked you out. You left. _But he doesn't say it aloud. He just closes his eyes. His voice is soft when he finally starts to speak, very fragile and very, very young. It makes Michael want to protect him from all dangers out there. Except that the one danger out there is himself.

"The secret you are asking for is not mine." The redhead takes another deep breath, steadying himself. "Thus I was not sure if it was my place to tell you about it. But I guess you do have every right to know, especially now, and thus, I will explain." He opens his eyes to look at his friend then with an intensity that Michael rarely sees in him. In response, he straightens up. "All I ask is for you to not interrupt, no matter how unlikely everything seems to be. And I want you to try and believe my story."

Something small, black and nervous is knotting in Michael's stomach. Suddenly he has a bad feeling about this. Maybe he doesn't want to know. Maybe he should just forget about it. He looks at the boy in front of him, the red hair that's so silky to the touch, the dark eyes with this intense stare, the face he knows better than his own, the slender hands, the thin frame. Walking away from this is not an option. With a start he realizes that it never was.

He gives one sharp nod and Tobias returns it with the smallest of smiles.

"You remember the children's cartoon I like to watch?"


	27. Face The unKnown

_First of all: I am sorry. I am sorry for my long absence. I am sorry for my unreliable updating. I am sorry for this messed-up story. But most of all I'm sorry for what's yet to come.  
I wish I could promise you happy endings.  
On a side note, I am quite confused that so many of you want to know "Tobias' Secret That's not **his** Secret". Maybe I'm not as obvious as I thought I am? O_O_

* * *

_It is the first law of friendship that it has to be cultivated.  
The second is to be indulgent when the first law is neglected.  
-Voltaire_-

* * *

**Chapter 27: Face The (Un)Known  
**

* * *

"Pokémon?"

In the following silence the ticking of the living room clock seems unnaturally loud. Tobias, now totally thrown off balance, stares at his boyfriend for seemingly endless seconds before he regains his voice. It sounds strangely cracked, as if its owner is short to cracking up himself.

"No, honey. No, I'm not talking about Pokémon."

The silence stretches on, but it has lost some of its edge and doesn't feel as deadly anymore. The redhead struggles, the corners of his mouth twitch, then he regains control over his features.

"I'm talking about TMNT."

Michael stares back at him. Stares a bit longer. After thirty seconds Tobias starts to nervously fumble on the couch cushions. Until finally, the older boy opens his mouth.

"What, in the name of God", and he takes a deep breath, "is a _TMNT_?"

Against all better judgement, Tobias rolls his eyes. "Not _a _TMNT, Micky. _The _TMNT. You know, mutant reptiles that love pizza and protect New York City against evil ninja?"

Only when he places the question mark does he realize how weird this sounds. No, not weird. _Freaked. _Michael's mouth hangs slightly open when their eyes meet, and Tobias doesn't know how to carry on this conversation either. When it finally becomes evident that the taller boy really doesn't have a clue to what he's talking about, he jumps to his feet.

"Wait here. I'll be back in a second."

***T*M*N*T***

"A _straight _line. Do you know what that is? _Straight, _Leo, c'mon, what's wrong with you today?"

Leo isn't quite sure if Mikey means to encourage him or if the youngest is just mocking him. The thought doesn't last long either way when the leader bans everything but the signs he attempts to draw from his mind.

Biting his lower lip in concentration, he pulls the chalk down. Slowly, slowly, inch after inch, his efforts leave a white mark on the light blue walls. _Mikey is right. _The line isn't all straight down. It looks strangely wobbly, so unlike his usual writing. He would like to blame it on low-quality chalk, on the bumps that turn the wall into a mountainside, or on the time that presses on his shoulders like a visible force. But Leo knows that the real culprit is himself. More specifically, his fingers.

Five fingers! He seemed perfectly fine with them up to now. Thin, slender, so unlike his own, but he was able to grab things, to make a fist, to hold on to something just fine. Except that now, when it comes down to perfecting the signs Usagi showed him so long ago, he fails.

Miserably.

Frustration is clear in his features when, once again, he wipes out the sign with his palm before he leans back with a sigh. Almost on its own his right hand comes up and rubs at his eyes, leaving white marks all over his face and chalk dust in his eyes. _Great. _Now they are watering, too. The blurry vision does nothing to lighten his mood.

Without looking up, he holds up the chalk for Mikey.

"Hey, Mike. You try it. By now you should know what the signs are supposed to look like."

The vague feeling, that Michelangelo is the right one for the job, soon becomes reality when the youngest carefully places the chalk in his fingers and draws a perfect line right where Leo's wobbly one has been moments ago. His fingers, used to holding brushes and pencils for hours and trained in drawing the way Leo has never been able to, don't hesitate once on their way.

He knows that Don and Raph would snicker now, were this a normal situation. But it isn't, and he isn't the only one that feels his shoulders sag more and more with every second ticking by. The clocks know no mercy. And time runs through their fingers like sand.

Leo flinches when he feels a hand on his shoulder. It takes an effort to draw his gaze from the redhead that has just finished the second sign and starts with the third. The slender markings look so much like Usagi's that for a moment he lost himself in the illusion that it is still _that night_ in the Battle Nexus and that nothing happened in between. When he finally does look up, he finds his father's gaze locked to his own.

Reassurance.

And the fear subsides.

"Mikey, this line here needs to be a little longer and curved at the end. Like the japanese 'e'", he says and stands up. And the youngest brother doesn't complain, he just redraws the sign in a quick motion. He knows that this once, time is not on their side. And that to overcome this challence, they need to be united.

More than ever, he is afraid.

***T*M*N*T***

"...macht überhaupt keinen Sinn. Ich meine, diese doofe Kuh macht überhaupt nicht..."

"Hey. Hey! Süße, ich bin nicht hier, um mit dir über deine Lehrer zu diskutieren. Ich habe es eilig, also..."

Two voices rising in volume is what greets Michael when he carries the laptop up the stairs. Tobias' sister Becca had finally insisted on her brother helping her with her homework. She hadn't even acknowledged Michael's presence; after all, him being here wasn't an unusual thing for her. The older boy still doesn't know if it bothers or pleases him that Tobias hasn't talked to his family yet concerning them breaking up.

Right now, other things are on his mind.

At first, he had been confused and also a bit angry. He couldn't figure out why instead of telling him what exactly was going on, Tobias chose to place a laptop in front of him and start episodes of a cartoon on youtube. But the longer the colorful images of four evil-fighting turtles flickered over the screen, the more he understood. Or did he? How could this be? How could these four creatures from NYC be so similar to the four boys in the basement and their father? He had randomly clicked windows then, watching scraps and bits and pieces of episodes every now and then, and it didn't get better. Either "Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo" are the craziest fans he has ever seen, or...

_Or what?_

In front of the door to Becca's room, he pauses. One hand holds the laptop, the other is frozen in midair. Should he knock? Should he burst in, demand the truth? He feels like leaving in that very moment, like just leaving and not coming back to this silly place. He knows that he won't, but still he rolls the thought over in his mind, like a flavour he has yet to taste before he lets it go. He could go to the basement, demand answers before he talks to Tobias. Make sure he got things right.

After all it wasn't Too's fault. He promised his friends to keep their secret, and this almost ended their relationship. Yes, maybe he should talk to Leonardo and the others first. Just to make sure.

"...einfach nur x gleichsetzen mit y minus sieben mal drei. Wie es eben hier steht..."

He puts down the laptop on the drawer next to the door and goes backwards. His footsteps are almost inaudible on the stairs.

**T*M*N*T**

"Leo, wait."

The eldest pauses at the notion of Raphael's voice. It is strangled, almost scared. The blue portal waits for him, and it exerts a strange feeling on them all. They _want _to go through there, _want _to see the other side, even though they know of the dangers that await them and of the hurry they are in. _Just a glance, _the blue light seems to say, _it can't hurt now, can it? _It feels strangely alive. And that worries Leo.

"What?", he says and draws his gaze away from the flickering shape in front of him. He had taken the first step automatically, and no one really held him back. It had been clear from the beginning that he would be the one to go to Usagi's world and find him. He was closest to the Samurai, and he was the most skilled of them. Besides, Draco probably didn't see a threat in him just yet, thinking that he was still out of it.

At least that's what he tries to convince himself of.

"How're ya gonna come back to us?"

He stares at Raph blankly for a second before he finally understands. Of course. The only way back he knows leads to the lair, the secret underground lair in NYC in their own home dimension. If he goes through this portal and it closes, there will be no way to get back to his family even if he finds Usagi. They would have to go back to the lair, use Donnie's machine correctly and finally make their way through Germany from the alleyway they arrive in to this house.

Impossible.

"That's way too far", Donnie says as if he had read his oldest brother's thoughts. "We have to keep this portal open until you return."

_And in the meantime they have to defend it against whatever else tries to come through. Or worse, comes at them from this side. _None of them say this aloud, but they know each other's faces well enough to read the same worry in all of them. Only Master Splinter looks calm and collected. He has taken a seat on top of a few boxes that are still in the room, and he seems so at ease that his sons relax one after the other and the tension lessens visibly.

"Look out fa yourself, will ya?" Raph says and awkwardly pats Leo's shoulder before he lets go abruptly. Mikey isn't as self-conscious and throws himself into his brother's arms in a forced hug that is quickly followed by a shorter hug from Donnie. Leo smiles at them all, then bows to Master Splinter before he turns around and faces the blue mirror-shaped arc again.

"See you in a few."

And he takes the final step into the light.

* * *

**A/N: **_It is so weird to have Tobias and Michael talk to each other in English even though they are both German, so of course they'd speak German. But it was too much work to translate every sentence, and it looked very confusing too. So I had Tobi and his sister Becca speak German instead. Don't worry, they aren't talking about important stuff, he's just explaining how to solve equations. ;-)_


End file.
